Posted on 02/11/2007 2:57:59 PM PST by savedbygrace
Hollywood, CA - Sony Pictures movie downloads will feature a memory erasing sequence of sounds and flashing light that will cause viewers to forget that they've just watched a movie. Sony hopes the system, called “NoMemory Stick,” will increase the number of repeat downloads for its popular movie titles from online download services like iTunes and Wal-Mart.
Memory Erasing“We're masters at getting people to buy the same content over and again,” said Sony Pictures Vice president of Marketing, Kevin Fullbanks. “Look what we did with laser discs, VHS DVD, Blu-Ray and now digital. Now with the NoMemory Stick technology, we don't have to spend any money researching new formats. The customer doesn't remember seeing the movie, so they can enjoy it all again at $19.95. It's a win-win situation.”
After erasing the person's memory, the system then deletes the movie and asks the user if they would like to download the movie they just forgot watching. Researchers said a Blu-Ray DVD model that will erase your brain, burn the DVD then hide the case and your receipt is still “a few years off.”
Fullbanks suggested the memory-erasing technology to researchers at Sony after watching Men in Black. “I saw Tommy Lee Jones and thought, 'How can we use that technology to profit?' Then it hit me. I was disappointed to learn that it was just a prop in the film, so we've had to wait until now for our researcher to perfect the system.”
An internal research study by Sony showed a repurchase increase of 67% among viewers. The other 33% had their brains melted, so data was deemed unreliable. Related News
Critics of the plan say that profit isn't the only motive behind this new technology. Darlene Wilhelm from Consumers United for Brain Protection said, “I think the real motive is that they want viewers to forget how bad the movie sucked.”
The new technology has been fully approved by the MPAA and Ben Affleck.
Double checking to make sure BBSpot doesn't need to be excerpted. Thanks.
Hillary would love this.
We've read this 20 times before -- we just can't remember it.
Dear Engraged FReepers,
This is satire. Please bear that in mind.
Signed, common sense.
I'm sorry. What was the topic?
Just want to get a reply in before the thread is removed. Funny stuff. :)
This be BS.
What?
Read what?
It's BBSpot, man. Of course it's satire.
Thanks for covering my six. I don't post many threads, and I forgot to warn people.
No problem.
I want a flashy-thingie! I would then schedule a theraputic lunch with my ex-boss. (tee hee)
I can't even remember writing this....
“We're masters at getting people to buy the same content over and again,” said Sony Pictures Vice president of Marketing, Kevin Fullbanks.
And this one, too:
The new technology has been fully approved by the MPAA and Ben Affleck.
ping
Bush could use this the next time he shovels out another Shamnesty speech.
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