Posted on 03/01/2007 7:24:20 AM PST by KantianBurke
When John got divorced after 12 years of marriage, he took a deep breath and launched into the dating scene.
"And wham, with my very first girlfriend, I caught herpes," he says. "You feel betrayed and all of a sudden separated from the rest of the world. I thought at the time that the girl who gave it to me and I were the only people in the world who had it."
But John and his date are far from alone. And the growing number of people in similar situations has created a new industry: Internet dating sites just for people with STDs. From stdmatch.net to datingwithherpes.com, Web sites abound for the infected who want to date the infected.
It's not surprising once you see the numbers. One in four women is infected with genital herpes, and nearly one in five men according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And a study in this week's Journal of the American Medical Association finds that one in four women has human papillomavirus, which can cause genital warts and cervical cancer.
Once John got over the initial shock of his diagnosis, one of the first things he did was go online.
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
NASTY!
Not if he was married to someone like my ex!
Gee, what a charming idea, dating sites for STD riddled adults. How nice.
Better they date each other than me.
I've had herpes for 35 years.
If I was single again, I would definitely prefer a partner who was already infected - in fact, if I had a reasonably wide choice of already infected possible new partners I would not consider anyone else.
And I'll bet you can find some very conservative men and woman on such sites, including many who were infected during the course of "monogamous" marriages by cheating partners.
crabs-r-us.com
Those numbers are very consistent, and accepted by doctors who deal with it daily, as well as the pharmaceutical companies sales.
And what point in a dating relationship is earlier than before two people have even made contact? Signing up on a dating website for people who don't wish to infect others, or even break their hearts by coming clean after there has been some emotional attachment is a kind, decent, responsible thing to do.
This is as close as it comes to wearing a sign around your neck. How this threatens those who don't have STDs, and don't want to get them, is beyond me.
Wha?? Where did you come up with that? Did someone say they felt threatened?
"Signing up on a dating website for people who don't wish to infect others"
A dating website? Can you pass on genital herpes by merely dating someone?
Now, I could be wrong, and I know you'll correct me if I am, but it seems to me that those who sign up are essentially saying, "I'm looking for sex, but I want to be responsible about it".
What I called in my post, a swingers website. And, if you think about it, a website of people who have a history of making poor decisions in the past, acting irresponsibly and recklessly.
Why a person would want to choose someone from this pool as a potential life partner is beyond me. They are, of course, free to do so. I'm simply offering my observations.
There's clearly been a lot of 'ick' factor on this topic. Most of the comments here are quite negative on the idea. Maybe threatened is a harsh word, but many are clearly bothered by the existance of STD-specific dating sites.
A dating website? Can you pass on genital herpes by merely dating someone?
Maybe in your part of the country, marriages are still arranged by parents, but all the sexual relationships I know of, including the marital ones, are preceded by dating. And the point of this type of website is to AVOID giving something to somebody who doesn't already have it.
"I'm looking for sex, but I want to be responsible about it".
I'm sure there are many who are looking for a sexual relationship only, but there are undoubtably those who are looking for a marital relationship to have sex within, also. They're just trying to find others who already are in the situation they're in. And so what if they're looking for sex only? This is clearly better than just going to a bar and picking someone up, and depending on a thin sheet of rubber to protect that other person.
...a website of people who have a history of making poor decisions in the past, acting irresponsibly and recklessly.
Wow, this is as judgmental as it gets! For a second there, you conjured up the image of Dana Carvey's "Church Lady" character! All it takes is ONE possible poor judgment, and not even that if your cheating spouse brings something home to you. Perhaps you believe that STD's only happen to "bad" people, who "deserve" it.
Bad people? No.
I believe I said, "people who have a history of making poor decisions in the past, acting irresponsibly and recklessly." Generally speaking, of course. I'm sure there are exceptions. That doesn't make them bad.
As to whether or not they "deserve" to get an STD after acting irresponsibly and recklessly, that's not the word I would use. I would simply say they shouldn't be surprised if they do get an STD.
"Wow, this is as judgmental as it gets!"
Ooh, look at you using those big liberal words! Next you'll be demanding an apology and suggesting I go to rehab to get "re-educated".
I call 'em as I see 'em, even if people's feelings get hurt. You're looking at a concentrated pool of people who have acted recklessly and irresponsibly. If I'm looking for a serious relationship, I ain't going there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are exceptions. Fine. But I'm sticking with my assessment.
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