What kind of driver are you?

The Daily Bulletin ^ | 03/12/2007 | Michelle Groh-Gordy

[jonascord]

What, you don't like those idiots who camp in the left lane on the interstate and refuse to move over, and then are baffled that they get flipped off a lot?

[ApplegateRanch]

safe, convenient, economical, environmentally friendly and practical.

Just what we need: schizophrenic drivers on the road. More sets of mutually exclusive terms in that descriptor than I care to critique.

[American Quilter]

Your description of auto-morons is hilarious--because it's true.

When my brother sees someone driving as you describe, he sings aloud, "I'm alone in the universe, nobody counts but me-ee." I started doing it, and it makes me laugh every time. Greatly reduces the annoyance of driving among the auto-morons.

[dalereed]

"LOL! As a fellow Auto-Banner, I relate all too well. Most likely the Auto-Pilots drive mini-vans. Typically, when in front of you in the lane, will sit for 5-10 seconds before moving out on the green light. Always wonder if there is some sort of built-in delay hardwired in their brains"

VW bus and Volvo drivers are the worst!!!

[Little Ray]

I'm an Auto-Pilot, I guess. I drive as fast I feel safe (speed of traffic, mostly - speed limits are just suggestions...), and I leave lots of room between me and the next car so that I can observe the antics of the Auto-Bahners and the Auto-Nomous in relative safety.

As far as I'm concerned, an automobile is a box to get people, groceries and luggage from point A to point B in relative safety and comfort, with adequate speed.

[GSlob]

See # 31. As an immigrant to the US [naturalized, and have been here 25 years], I plead an invincible ignorance as to George Carlin [?- and who is/was he?] and his routines. Thus I claim independent discovery.

[Just another Joe]

I am a paranoic. My head is on a swivel every time, all the time, any time I drive a vehicle.

I've had one wreck in the last 41 years, and it was my fault because I wasn't paranoid at the time.

[Turbopilot]

Another of their favorite traits is to relentlessly crawl at 35 - 40 max on an entrance ramp when the traffic that you're trying to merge with is going 70 - 75. Then, when they can't find a large enough gap they stop at the end of the ramp blocking you from merging.

These boobs are the worst, and I seem to be behind one almost every time I get on the freeway. Probably my #2 pet peeve, behind drivers who don't understand that "keep right except to pass" means to, you know, keep to the right. Except to pass. And then get back to the right. Regardless of your speed.

While I'm on the tangent, the third worst is drivers who blithely trap you in parking lots or on side streets waiting to turn out because they can't be bothered to use their turn signal to let you know they won't be crossing your path. In a just world, instead of running speed traps the police would follow those drivers to their destination and hold their door shut when they get there to waste 30 seconds of their time like they wasted mine.

[capitalist229]

I am a reformed autobahner.

Now that we have a police state, I set my cruise conrol to 10 MPH over the limit, put my brain on autopilot and get home without jangled nerves.

BUMP

[Just another Joe]

Does 120 in a 55 barefoot without my license in the car count as a ultr-auto-bahner?

Only if you're running on those bare feet. ;^P

[RebelBanker]

Let me guess, you have a bumper sticker that says,
"I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying"
right?

[Fierce Allegiance]

If you are not passing slower traffic,

Get the heck out of the left lane!

[Past Your Eyes]

Up here, we call the worst ones "Massachusetts drivers". They have a well deserved rep.

[Fresh Wind]

Massachusetts must not have many bad drivers left. They all moved to New Jersey.

[Fierce Allegiance]

115 mph is not a big deal on a highway. 115 mph on dirt is FUN! Call me when you've hit over 150 mph on a public road.

[Turbopilot]

My goal is to drive such that no driver is forced to take an action or prevented from taking an action he wants to take because of me. That simple rule covers everything from keeping right except when passing expeditiously, to not cutting people off, to not trapping them on side streets because I'm too lazy to use my turn signal, to virtually any behavior that commonly irritates people. When you think about it, by not forcing anyone else to do anything or preventing anyone else from doing anything, I can't possibly irritate anyone or cause road rage.

Interestingly, following that one rule also prevents almost any multi-vehicle crash. If one never takes action that requires another driver to do or not do something, one can never have a crash as a result of the other driver not doing (or doing) the necessary action. Another interesting point in combination with the above is that this rule can be adhered to without regards to vehicle speed.

[Muzzle_em]

MANIAC = anyone driving faster than I am.
IDIOT = anyone driving slower than I am.

[Muzzle_em]

MANIAC = anyone driving faster than I am.
IDIOT = anyone driving slower than I am.

[Obadiah]

One more thing that makes me want to reach under my seat for my Springfield...Drivers who are making a left turn at the light of a busy intersection and STOP behind the green light and wait, only to scamper out and across when the light turns yellow! Arghhh...the correct procedure when turning left is to MOVE your vehicle into the intersection (or across the crosswalk lines) and allow other people to get into the intersection as well. Then, when the light turns yellow, you and as many as two other cars can also make the turn on the yellow! That is how you are supposed to do it, not stop behind the green light!

[jonascord]

I would truly love to meet someone who DOES NOT believe they are an excellent driver! They can't control the car on ice, or in the wet, they are talking on the phone constantly, they hold the wheel at 10 & 2 in a death grip, they can't see motorcycles, they ignore anything behind them while they pile junk on the rear view mirror, they stick super wide, overhung tires on the car and have never heard of cantilever moment, but, boy, just question their ability!