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>> Andrew Dice Clay is a better “poet” than Maya. <<

Yes, but read the lyrics posted of any rap album and you’ll appreciate Maya much better. :^D

Frankly, the scary thing about Eminem (and even, dare I mention him, Kanye West) is how much better they are then 99.999% of all the hitmaking rappers. I actually remember when rap was all about clever lyrics. The closest thing to the rap that was popular in my grade school (c. 1980) is - would you believe it - “Who’s Line is it Anyway?”

As repulsive as his misogyny might be, Eminem is at least clever and talented enough to fit all these lines of very varied lengths slip firmly into a rhythm:

(I edited out one verse, which had vulgarities; there was no point just editing the verse, since the vulgarities were the essence of the verse. I’m not approve of what he does with the talent; I’m only saying he does it well.)

I’ve created a monstah,
cuz nobody wants tah
See Marshall no more they want Shady;
I’m chopped livah
Well if you want Shady, then this is what I’ll give yah
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that will jumpstart my heart quicker
Then a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the Dr. when I’m not cooperating
When I’m rocking the table while he’s operating
You waited this long to stop debating
Cuz I’m back, I’m on the rag and ovulating
I know you got a job Ms. Cheney, but your husbands heart problems complicating
So the FCC won’t let me be
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty without me

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

Verse 2:
Little hellions, kids feeling rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feeling like prison is helpless,
Til someone comes along on a mission and yells “bitch”
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution,
Pollutin’ the air waves a rebel
So let me just revel and bask,
In the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass
And it’s a disaster such a catastrophe

For you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?
Well I’m back (*Batman Noise*) fix your bent antennah
Tune it in and then I’m gonna entah
Into the front of your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I’m interesting,
the best thing since wrestling
Infesting
in your kids ears and nesting
Testing
“Attention Please”
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
Here’s my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Chorus 2x

Verse 3:
A tisk-it a task-it,
I go tit for tat wit’
anybody who’s talking this $h!+ that $h!+
Chris Kirkpatrick,
you can get your ass kicked
Worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards,
And Moby,
you can get stomped by Obie,
You 36 year old bald headed fag blow me
You don’t know me,
you’re too old
Let go, it’s over, nobody listens to techno
Now lets go,
just give me the signal
I will be there with a whole list full of new insults
I’ve been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
Ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the shit just seems,
Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this means I’m disgusting,
But its just me
I’m just obscene
Though I’m not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley,
To do Black Music so selfishly
And use it to get myself wealthy (Hey)
There’s a concept that works for me
20 million other white rappers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It’ll be so empty without me