Posted on 04/22/2007 10:20:47 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Conventional wisdom has long held that a strong and silent man is unlikely to ask for help when he needs it, putting him at a disadvantage when he's hurt.
Following a trauma, the theory goes that these kinds of men clam up emotionally, are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs and avoid showing they're vulnerable in any way.
But new research from the University of Missouri-Columbia shows that "manly" men may in fact benefit from sticking to this traditional notion of masculinity, particularly when it comes to recovering from serious injuries.
In Pictures: How To Kick That Spare Tire In Pictures: America's Most Luxurious Gyms The small exploratory study, published last year in the American Psychological Association's journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity, found this group showed a greater improvement from the time they were initially hospitalized to one year after they left the hospital.
"Guys who are tough or have a clear vision of what they want strive for success and status," says Glenn Good, associate professor of educational, school and counseling psychology at the University of Missouri and co-author of the study. "Maybe that gives them motivation to work harder and persist longer."
The Study
Participants in the study included 52 men, ages 18 to 91, who'd experienced traumatic brain or spinal cord injuries and were undergoing rehabilitation. The majority had a high school education and two-thirds were employed. They each responded to more than 175 questions or statements about their masculinity, attitudes toward seeking psychological assistance, abilities to perform daily tasks, barriers preventing them from doing what they want and overall life satisfaction.
Bad news at the doc's office? Here's what you need to know when you get a troubling diagnosis. The results did show, as you might expect, that those who believed men should restrict expression of their emotions were less in favor of seeking psychological help.
But there also was a connection between men who conformed to masculine norms, such as a tendency toward self-reliance and risk-taking, and those who reported fewer barriers to functioning in their communities. While the findings need further study, one possible explanation is that feeling manly helped the men overcome adversity and persevere, as though nothing could stop them from conquering a goal.
"It may help them say, 'Despite the fact that life as I knew it is over, I have this goal of being able to stand up or walk, and I want to make sure I achieve that,'" Good says.
Overcoming Injury
Irmo Marini, a professor in health sciences and human services at the University of Texas-Pan American, thinks the study is on to something.
Marini fractured his neck in 1981 at age 23 when he was playing hockey for Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ontario. In an instant, he went from being an able-bodied athlete to being a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic. But a year after his injury, he says, he found that sense of discipline and need to succeed he'd felt as an athlete returning. For instance, because he can't fully grip with his hands, Marini ties tensor bandages around his wrists and hands to hold weights so he can lift. That stubbornness, often associated with machismo, paid off.
"It's almost like, for myself and some others I know, we've taken the physical discipline we had before our injuries and turned it into mental discipline," he says.
Marini, who has a Ph.D. in rehabilitation counseling from Auburn University, says people with military experience tend to have this sense of discipline too. He also believes the benefits of this way of thinking might extend to people with lesser injuries.
Stressed out? Click here to see why some say seeing the glass as half full can benefit your health. If you're not particularly manly, Good says it's possible that some men in rehabilitation recovering from injuries could try to pick up the behavior, since masculinity is something men learn through socialization. But he adds a note of caution.
"Being a real tough authoritarian kind of guy might be helpful on the football team, or if you're a policeman or military officer," he says. "But it also can make you a bad partner or father. Having some flexibility about when you implement this is important."
You betcha!
Here's a good one: Thirteen Going on Thirty.
That's okay. After you've finished cuddling with her on the couch and sharing a tear or two, you can show her what love, romance, and men are really like! She'll love it! Especially the what men are really like part. (If she doesn't, dump her.)
Be a man. We don't have to be girlie men. Women who don't like real men can start their own all-girl colony somewhere. Hen Hell.
Actually that's the way my husband prefers his meat and why he cooks it for both of us. I love 'em, he eats half his bloody steak off the grill (or the stove)while he's waiting for my steak to cook but he cooks it well. Is he a manly man? Well he's not gay obviously and he talks like a normal human. As a matter of fact ladies...if you let a real "manly man" talk once, sometimes you can't stop the flow so beware. LOL.
Yes..woman have to understand that just because their man expresses himself differently than themselves it's no reason to say they haven't had a real conversation.
Here's a little secret many men don't want you to know, sometimes they have "feelings"...oh my God. Someone obviously tried to beat that part out of Cho at a young age...problem is, that never works. It just goes underground and festers. He needed a real man in his life that could help him deal with it.
I don’t shop. I kill and drag home from the store.
I wouldn’t know if it was good or bad from a personal perspective. LOL. I just know I don't like men who don't like themselves.
That's right..daytime TV is especially the pits.
Who says that's a guy?
That's not a guy..that's a boy. Send 'em over to the US, we grow them up faster here. :)
Ehmmm... Fox News Channel is on 24/7, and pretty much the only host I will not watch is Greta.
To paraphrase a line from a Crocodile Dundee movie, "That's what a guy has mates for."
A "manly man" has other "manly men" that he can bitch to and about things that he would almost never tell his wife, girlfriend, or "significant other".
Everyone needs an outlet at times.
Ditto here except the Greta part. I can’t stand her (my apologies to Greta fans).
I always liked manly men. Thats why I could never have married a democrat.
lol. Good thing I am off today -I need more caffeine as well!
The chief of the rehab department of my disability carrier told me that when she got my medical records, she said, “This guy is determined!” I exactly fit the underwriters’ assessment of male litigators as being willing to crawl through broken glass to get back into the courtoom.
No, that's why it was a question, Einstein.
Sorry, E. It’s hard to know like this online. ~S
ping
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