Posted on 05/08/2007 10:50:01 AM PDT by MissEdie
QUESTION: I am a 42-year-old father of three young children, ages 3, 4 and 7. I am employed by a small company in a small town. My wife, 39, is totally and permanently disabled as a result of strokes and other complications arising from the birth of our youngest child. Although my wife can converse, she is unable to move from the neck down and requires total care.
After it was determined that rehabilitation wouldn’t improve her condition, my group health insurance stopped paying. The most difficult question was whether to place my wife in a nursing facility at $6,000+ per month, which we can’t afford, or try to keep her at home.
I checked into Medicaid and was told that because my wife had a 401(k) and because we were frugal and had been able to save our money, we would have to exhaust most of it to qualify her for benefits. She is receiving Social Security Disability and now has Medicare.
My employer has been very good to me, but that is ending because I have missed a lot of work with sick children, children’s sports and my wife’s care.
I am stressed out and have begun taking sleeping pills and anti-depressants. I am getting no help with my wife’s care, and I have nowhere to turn.
I am torn between caring for her and making sure our children are taken care of and educated. We are both only children and expect to inherit from our families, and have received gifts that we have put away for our children, but my lawyer said these gifts and inheritances would have to be used to provide for my wife’s care. He also said divorce is our only option to get my wife proper care and allow me to raise and educate our children. She agrees.
This is a sad state of affairs, and I wanted you to pass this on to your readers.
ANSWER: We appreciate the opportunity to let our readers know that long-term care issues and Medicaid affect more than just the elderly. And we agree that it is a sad state of affairs when the richest country in the world — a country that has historically taken pride in the strength and unity of the American family — has sunk to pre-1986 depths by again passing legislation called the Deficit Reduction Act of 2005, which takes direct aim at middle-class families like yours and forces breakups of American families for economic reasons.
Impoverishment attributed to a spouse’s need for institutionalization more frequently affects older women who must spend down to poverty level to qualify their spouses for Medicaid, often eliminating a lifetime’s savings. Yet younger families like yours also are caught in the same crunch. This is devastating when young children are involved.
And, as your lawyer correctly told you, the help you receive from your families will go toward her care, ignoring your children’s needs.
So we agree with your lawyer that divorce probably is your only option. Some would disagree, asserting that you should have purchased long-term care insurance. But in the final analysis, you can thank the Congress, the president and the elected officials in your state of residence whose shortsightedness makes this drastic move your only option.
Who does he think should pay for his financial problems? The taxpayers? While he is sitting on a chunk of money?
Before you count me as an unsympathetic jerk (ok, I might be) I am also a single father of 3 little girls who lost their mother in a car accident.
In our state, this wouldn’t be the case.
The spouse could keep close to 100,000 dollars in liquid assets (her 401K could be cashed in and transferred into his name), plus the car and house (her name must be off the title) and his wife would still qualify for Medicaid nursing home care. They guy needs to talk to an elder care lawyer, there are also ways of setting up trusts to care for the sick without bankrupting the family. In recent years there has been legislation that allowed more assets to be kept because they found that some folks were “bankrupting” themselves to go into rehab, but then they recovered and when they came out, they had no assets left to live on...thus the laws about the “well” spouse being able to keep liquid assets plus house and car without having to pay down that amount.
Mr. K, you are are not an unsympathetic jerk. That was my first reaction too. And may God bless you and your children.
This guy needs to just buck up, pray and rely on family and hopefully his faith for answers.
She can get disability from SS and Medicare for an in house hospice if she gets real bad.
He will eventually get his money from mom and dad. Prayers for the children.
This is what I do now: I have appropriate insurance in place and am making every effort that I can to be financially independent for the remainder of my life.
If he’s a member of a God-fearing Christian congregation, hopefully with their help he could continue to care for her at home. For that matter, even if he wasn’t a church member of even a Christian, I think a church with its priorities straight would do what it could. In the absence of that, and while I don’t think charity is the government’s function, I wouldn’t feel nearly so bad about govt assistance in this case as I would with folks who draw money but could work.
Is this an unintended consequence of the Welfare State or one of its’ goals.
He needs to see an asset protection/planning ATTORNEY immediately.
This happened to my mother after she got remarried in her sixties and the new husband developed alzheimer’s. Even after he tried to kill her twice, the police would do nothing. No one would do anything, and no one wants to take a violent alzheimer’s patient.
I agree. It’s one thing to have sympathy if he has no resources but I can’t sympathize with his desire to sequester any inheritance for some purpose other than paying legitimate creditors.
That’s why I don’t practice so-called “medicaid planning” - the practice of legally giving away all your assets to your kids so it won’t be subject to the “spend down” provisions of medicaid. (Unlike normal estate planning, which is getting rid of money to keep it exempt from death taxes, a completely legitimate consideration).
Well, it varies by the industry you work in, but my disability insurance (through my employer) costs about $50 per month for this overweight 44-year-old.
Take Action!
Governor Mark Sanford
Columbia, SC
Fax: 803-734-5167
You may also contact the Governor's Office at 803-734-2100.
I agree that the reputation of Long Term Care Insurance Co’s isn’t great, but I work for a home care agency and we have never had any problems with the insurance companies & we always get paid. Oddly enough it’s our richest clients who don’t like to pay.
Thank you...I feel for the guy also, and I understand where he’s coming from. Doesn’t mean I would support his prescription for fixing his problem.
There is also a 3 yr. rule on transferring assets.
I really sympathize with this man's situation and agree I'd much rather see the government assist his family than a lazy non-worker.
Disability insurance and long term care insurance are two different things.
Price long term care ins.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.