How's everything?
Thanks for the Ping
Posted on 05/15/2007 10:07:20 PM PDT by Cool Guy
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals; and 2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.The rest became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added),but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Ping!
Kool! How did you know all this? You drink Dixie Beer or somethin’?
This is good for starters...but there is a lot more that needs to be added.
I am only posting here to bookmark this for tomorrow, since I do not FReep at work, but I do want to forward this to everyone I know...LOL!
St. Stan's, Red Hawk, Iron City
How can you not FReep at work ? Isn't that what people go to work for -- 8 hrs of non stop FReeping ?
Hey Cool Guy, how are you doing?! Haven’t heard from you in a long time. I hope all is well.
Good to see ya both here. It has been a while and life has been good.
I like imported with a lime. Better than redneck inbred brew.
LOL!
While my much beloved and respected employers highly value my generally assumed to be arcane knowledge, or educated opinion regarding current events, it is seldom directly applicable to our joint endeavors to advance our specific company goals.
I do not FReep at work.
I could, but that would mean I was cheating my employer of paying me an honest wage for a full days work.
Why would anyone FReep on another person’s dime?
Spoken like a true conservative. You passed the test with flying colors ! One can expect the DUmmies to DUmmy all day at the taxpayers' expense, but not us FReepers.
But I will confess I do occasionally check the top right section of the FReep home page for a little red blurb that says 'New Posts to You'
...liberal achievements include the domestication of cats
This is wrong on so many levels
Liberals (pussies) are from Venus
Thanks for the ping! Great quotes on that page of yours.
good morning
thanks for the (:
Hey Cool Guy...nice seeing you. Drop in more often.
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