"I say,...I say, nahl! You got some nerve boy! Talkin' down Lottissippi!" -- Trenthorn Lotthorn
Posted on 07/08/2007 4:45:28 AM PDT by Tom D.
Bearish Voters Get Senate's Goat
July 8, 2007
BY MARK STEYN Sun-Times Columnist
On the eve of Independence Day, the people of this great republic declared their independence from the United States Senate under the stirring battle-cry, "No legislation without explanation!" The geniuses who'd cooked up the "comprehensive" immigration bill's "grand bargain" behind the scenes in the pork-filled rooms had originally planned to ram it through in 48 hours before Memorial Day. And, right to the end, the bipartisan Emirs-for-life of Incumbistan gave the strong impression they regarded it as an affront to be required by the impertinent whippersnappers of the citizenry to address the actual content of the legislation.
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) dismissed critics of the bill as "racist." Sen. George Voinovich (R-Ohio) complained that the peasants had somehow got hold of his phone number and he felt "intimidated."
Sen. Trenthorn Lotthorn (R-Lottissippi) said: Who cares if they call? They could call 1-800-BLOWHARD (and leave off the "D" for "Deal's already done") 24 hours a day and he still wasn't going to listen to them. "To think that you're going to intimidate a senator," he scoffed, "into voting one way or the other by gorging your phones with phone calls -- most of whom don't even know where Gulfport is." (Gulfport is a port in the Gulf emirate whose grateful people Sultan Trent has ruled o'er lo these many years.)
More artfully, the Democrats' leader Harry Reid, instead of insulting his old base, invented a new one. Among the torrent of calls from racist intimidatory talk-radio listeners who don't know where Gulfport is, Reid had somehow managed to get through to the one constituent worth staying on the line for, a man who supports the bill. Who is he? Well, according to the Senate majority leader, his name is, er, "Tommy."
Tommy Hilfiger? Tommy Lasorda? Tommy Dorsey and his Orchestra with vocal refrain by Jo Stafford and the Pied Pipers? Tommy Lee in the director's cut, where in the hitherto deleted scene right at the end he says to Pamela Anderson, "Sorry, honey, I'd love to carry on for another 20 minutes but I gotta call Sen. Reid in Washington. If you hardworking Canadians are going to do the jobs Americans won't do, I need to get your X-visa sorted out?"
Ah, but Reid explained that he couldn't identify the Tommy in question in case he was arrested and deported. This Tommy has to stay "living in the shadows," like Tommy Lee in the bit where he's partly obscured by Pamela's embonpoint. Alas, this heartwarming vignette left many cynics unmoved. On the radio, Laura Ingraham suggested that "Tommy" might be entirely fictional and merely Reid's imaginary friend. I proposed to Laura that "Tommy" might like to start dating John Edwards' "coatless girl," whose Dickensian tale of woe figures in every Edwards stump speech: Apparently she goes to sleep shivering every night because her daddy was laid off at the mill and she can't afford a winter coat. If Tommy and the coatless girl married, he could buy her a coat for $9.99 at Wal-Mart and she could fill in a routine Spousal Application form with U.S. Immigration, which only takes 10 years to process, as opposed to the cumbersome and time-consuming 24-hour instant amnesty visa for seasonal fruit-pickers and seasonal jihadists contained in the Senate bill.
Sen. Trenthorn Lotthorn, meanwhile, thinks America is a nation of goatless girls. They don't understand goats the way an experienced goat-farmer such as himself does. "If the answer is 'build a fence,' " Lotthorn declared, "I've got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain't no fence big enough, high enough, strong enough, that you can keep those goats in that fence.
"Now people are at least as smart as goats,'' the senator told Mario Recio of the Sun Herald. ''Maybe not as agile. Build a fence? We should have a virtual fence. Now one of the ways I keep those goats in the fence is I electrified them. Once they got popped a couple of times they quit trying to jump it. I'm not proposing an electrified goat fence,'' the Lottly Goatherd added. ''I'm just trying, there's an analogy there.''
By now, his analogy had jumped the fence. But what an awesome monument to the senator's reign it would be: Hadrian's Wall, the Great Wall of China, the Great Electrified Goat Fence of the Rio Grande. They would sing songs about it:
''Grab your goat and get your hat
Leave your worries on the
doorstep
Just direct your feet
To the sunny side of the fence . . ."
For "the world's greatest deliberative body,'' this was a much more ominous popular insurrection than the conservative backlash against the president's nomination of Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court. Time and again, the remote insulated emirs were offered the opportunity to rise above their condescension and declined to do so. Sen. John McCain (R-Maverickistan) confidently asserted that he'd worked hard on this bill and knew it better than all these no-account nonentities riled up about it and then had to have it explained to him -- by bloggers on a conference call -- that he'd misunderstood a key provision of his own legislation: There was no requirement for illegal immigrants to pay back taxes. Their amnesty would come tax-free. Blustering senators who claimed to have drafted this thing had to be told what was in it by critics who'd actually taken the trouble to look at it.
Immigration isn't going away: Human capital is the great issue facing all advanced societies. But it's unbecoming for a mature democracy to discuss a critical matter in such a fraudulent way. It's insulting to tell people that to oppose this bill is to oppose border enforcement. There are immigration laws on the books right now, and they are flouted with impunity by "sanctuary cities," states and the federal government itself. The political class tells us that a nation on permanent "orange alert" at ports of entry can't enforce its borders, and a broken immigration bureaucracy that can't process existing levels of applicants can reliably handle another 20 million people.
If the senators have any sense of why they lost, they'll learn their lesson. But initial indications are not encouraging. Predicting victory, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) declared gravely and portentously that "the will of the Senate" would prevail. And that's what matters, isn't it? As the rebel colonists cried all those years ago, "No legislation without self-congratulation!"
© Mark Steyn 2007
Im still mad as hell at these pompus asses called senators. Re-election day in Georgia ain’t gonna go the way shamless is hoping.
LLS
Too many Senators think that it's all about them...
"I say,...I say, nahl! You got some nerve boy! Talkin' down Lottissippi!" -- Trenthorn Lotthorn
Wonder why the Times is trying to pass off a column that was written a week ago as if it was written for today’s edition.
A direct quote from the site where I scooped the pic:
“Foghorn Leghorn’s unofficial theme song is “Camptown Races” and this good old boy completely personifies its riverboat style. From his high-stepping strut to his puffed out chest, this jaunty Dixie chicken has all of the charm of a southern politician at a church picnic. While ruling this roost with complete assurance, Foghorn Leghorn is often a reluctant leading man to henhouse spinster Miss Prissy.”
Looks to me like Steyn wasn’t the only one to hit it dead on!
At best they are too stupid to serve in the U.S. Congress (and that's saying a lott! {pun intended})! At worst they are too treacherous!
Either way, every one of them should be removed from office forthwith.
Yes, and I always had a feeling that was the real reason why Santorum lost...the people didn’t forget. The very one whose sorry “you know what” was saved didn’t even bother to help him in return.
"The will of the Senate will prevail!"
SENATOR Arlen Specter
"Let them eat cake!"
QUEEN Marie Antoinette
"I've got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain't no fence big enough, high enough, strong enough, that you can keep those goats in that fence. Now people are at least as smart as goats."
SENATOR Trent Lott
I email someone every day asking why the 1986 immigration laws aren't being enforced and why the border isn't secure.
I ask each senator and US representative if they're expecting me to secure the border and tell them, if so, it ain't going to be pretty.
Please keep hammering this issue until we get a realistic immigration law and secure borders. The future of our country, children and grandchildren are depending on us NOW!
This is the scariest thing about this spectacle! The Senators themselves did not know what was in this bill! And yet they intended to foist it on the American people and cause it to become U.S. law!
At best this is the ultimate irresponsibility!
At worst it is the ultimate treachery!
Every one of the Senators responsible for this should be removed from office!
I heard Mort Kondrake and some other conservative pundit on a Hugh Hewitt podcast from last week and they were snipping at AM talk and the right wing bloggers. Basically, that we have been whipped into a frenzy.
I believe these pundits reflect the mood of those idiots in the Senate - the continued arrogance of folks like Lott, Graham and McCain.
Secure the borders first!
The tea leaves on this are just a mess. In Missouri, long time Republican Senator Kit Bond had to be dragged kicking and screaming to vote against the bill on the second cloture vote.
Newly elected Democrat Senator Clair McCaskill said early on she would never vote for the bill and she didn’t.
So my question to you is this. “Who’s on first?” I don’t think the Republicans are even still in the game.
Not only is this irresponsible, it tells me that those people don't take their jobs seriously. It's like a game to them. Especially the ones who have been there many, many terms. I'm fed up with that attitude.
You are absolutely right, Blam (post #12). If President Bush continues to refuse to enforce U.S. immigration laws, he should be removed from office.
I hate to say that. I am formerly one of his most loyal supporters. When he was elected President, I compared him to Washington, Lincoln, Reagan, Jefferson, T. Roosevelt, Truman, and Churchill.
However, he has made it clear that he has no intention of enforcing U.S. immigration laws, of closing the Mexican Border, or of halting further illegal immigration.
If he continues to refuse to enforce these laws, he should be removed from office. I know of no other remedy for a President--or a Congressman--who does such as this.
“Trent Lott’s unofficial theme song is “Camptown Races” and this good old boy completely personifies its riverboat style. From his high-stepping strut to his puffed out chest, this jaunty Dixie chicken has all of the charm of a southern politician at a church picnic. While ruling this roost with complete assurance, Lott is often a reluctant leading man to henhouse spinster Lindsey Graham.”
They seem to be taking the position that because we protested what they were doing and finally put a halt to the traitorous bill, that they're mad and will do nothing and let the serfs suffer the consequences of rebelling against them.
Thousands a day are still streaming across the border and everyone is refusing to enforce the law.
We're not done...NOTHING HAS CHANGED...we're still being invaded.
Always loved that chiccc... uhh I say son... uhh chicccc... uhh I meant to say Rooster!
LLS
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.