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Languishing ladies
Malta Independent ^ | 8/27/07 | Marisa Micallef

Posted on 08/27/2007 8:51:37 AM PDT by qam1

Some of my thirty and forty something male friends complain that the girls they meet, especially the local ones are all a mite too keen to settle down, find husbands and make babies. The thirty something girls on the other hand complain there just aren’t enough men around, and the ones that are, around that is, are fine as friends go but are not interested in any form of commitment. And that indeed when they do decide to commit they find someone much younger, much more malleable, perhaps foreign, but in every case girls who are prepared to play second fiddle to them.

This includes hanging around with his male friends and his partners, remaining pretty and well maintained while he deteriorates physically to an astonishing degree, and generally having pretty unbalanced relationships despite years and years of equal educational and other opportunities. At the end of the day if there isn’t enough of a supply of men and of heterosexual men particularly, and if men can pick and choose and go younger and younger, or foreign or more foreign, the imbalance and the catholic-arab attitude we have in many relationships is bound to persist.

Everywhere you go, and never more so than in summer when everyone is out displaying their wares, via plastic bag filled boobs, pert bums, over arched eyebrows, waxed of hair female and male bodies, you see hordes, or groups of thirty something girls who may never marry( unless they find a foreigner), who may never have kids,(unless they decide to go it alone), and who are in a sense doomed to the frustrations and none of the glamour of the lives of women we saw in Friends, on Ally McBeal, on Sex in the City.

And there have been plenty of articles, in the English media certainly, of the glut of city girls particularly, who simply cannot net a man either because the men their age do not want to commit, or as is the case in Malta and Gozo too, more and more are coming out and showing their gayness.

Whatever the reason the supply is not matching the demand. The only glut of men are the very sad illegal immigrant, and very obviously these are not what the beleagured Maltese female is looking for especially if she is looking for a degree of financial security to finance her coffees with girlfriends complete with the whole nail, skin and straightened hair look which doesn’t come cheap, but is now de rigeur, even for many single parent mums living off benefits.

The consequence? A whole generation of women who have never invested so much in their appearance as this one. They do their nails to veritable female warrior level. Their hair is regularly blow-dried and straightened. They go for massages, skin treatments, facials, detoxifying stuff, cellulite treatment and yet many of them will have a round of relationships, which are often just free sex for the male, but probably not lasting commitment, or the kind of commitment that is definitely preferable if you would like to have children.

Many men will only admit this is so if you ask them whether they would be happy if their 20 year old daughter was being used in this way by a 40 something man? Then the penny drops. But men of course can never let themselves see that every girl is a man’s daughter, that girls are not there for their free sexual gratification only, and if that is mainly what they are using them for, Using a prostitute would in fact be a far more honourable way to go about it rather than pretending they love someone they are just using for free sex.

These girls are not all aware of the problem or willing to admit it of course. They were brought up to have fun, fun, fun which meant as much sexual freedom as the boys. And they certainly did have fun in their twenties when their bodies and hair was at its best, when it seems tomorrow would never come. But the minute they start to hit their mid thirties, the minute they realise they have slept with everyone they wanted to sleep with, they look around and see a very reduced market indeed, a very unattractive supply of potential male partners.

For the men it is different. Many of these 40 somethings can quite easily and happily net a 20 something year old who is not bothered by talk of commitment yet. She is impressed by his perhaps financial stability, his nice car, his lifestyle, his weekends in Rome or whatever. He is of course enjoying having it all without having to give anything in return except perhaps a little expenditure. This is not just a local phenomenon. I was at dinner last Friday and watching this middle aged balding bore of a foreign pompous man talk while two very young female beauties sat opposite him. He just talked. They just looked at him, occasionally nodding or saying yes. It was a one way conversation. They were dressed to the nines. He was buying them dinner and God knows what else?

Can all this change? Not while more and more men are revealing their gayness. Not while more and more men cannot marry again anyway after their marriage in their twenties didn’t work. Our bolshy and sexually free thirty somethings might not be willing to admit it but it certainly is a boy’s world, and here in Mlata and Gozo particularily so. The only way to improve things might be a different generation of mothers and importation of the male equivalents of all the East European women who are here. Trouble is though our girls still seem to like the local talent, even though it is in ever reducing supply.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: allaboutme; feminism; genx
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1 posted on 08/27/2007 8:51:39 AM PDT by qam1
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To: qam1; ItsOurTimeNow; PresbyRev; Fraulein; StoneColdGOP; Clemenza; m18436572; InShanghai; xrp; ...
Xer Ping

Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.

Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.

2 posted on 08/27/2007 8:56:03 AM PDT by qam1 (There's been a huge party. All plates and the bottles are empty, all that's left is the bill to pay)
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To: qam1

bttt


3 posted on 08/27/2007 8:56:37 AM PDT by JamesP81 (Keep your friends close; keep your enemies at optimal engagement range)
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To: qam1

Where in the he!! is Malta ?


4 posted on 08/27/2007 8:59:28 AM PDT by Nonstatist
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To: qam1

My father said something about cows and milk.


5 posted on 08/27/2007 9:00:31 AM PDT by swain_forkbeard (Rationality may not be sufficient, but it is necessary.)
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To: qam1
in Malta and Gozo too, more and more are coming out and showing their gayness

Man, that is gay!

6 posted on 08/27/2007 9:02:30 AM PDT by Nonstatist
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To: qam1
They do their nails to veritable female warrior level. Their hair is regularly blow-dried and straightened. They go for massages, skin treatments, facials, detoxifying stuff, cellulite treatment

I don't think women go to all this trouble to impress men. They do it to impress other women.

It's not rocket science ladies, want to get our attention? Smile.

Happy people are attractive people.

7 posted on 08/27/2007 9:02:37 AM PDT by live+let_live
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To: Nonstatist
An island off the south of Italy, in the Med.

she is looking for a degree of financial security to finance her coffees with girlfriends complete with the whole nail, skin and straightened hair look which doesn’t come cheap, but is now de rigeur, even for many single parent mums living off benefits.

Uhhhhhhhh... you think that this might be the problem?
8 posted on 08/27/2007 9:04:57 AM PDT by snowrip (Liberal? YOU ARE A SOCIALIST WITH NO RATIONAL ARGUMENT.)
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To: Nonstatist

The answer to an old trivia question. “What is the name of the only English speaking democracy in the Mediterranean?”


9 posted on 08/27/2007 9:05:23 AM PDT by Truth29
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To: qam1

Please add me to your list.


10 posted on 08/27/2007 9:05:56 AM PDT by snowrip (Liberal? YOU ARE A SOCIALIST WITH NO RATIONAL ARGUMENT.)
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To: qam1
The last two priests at our parish have been from Malta.

If that is any indication, a heck of a lot of Malta men go into the priesthood.

11 posted on 08/27/2007 9:06:23 AM PDT by mware (By all that you hold dear..on this good earth... I bid you stand! Men of the West!)
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To: qam1

PING FOR LATER


12 posted on 08/27/2007 9:09:02 AM PDT by hophead ("Enjoy Every Sandwich")
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To: qam1

No wonder the Bible says No sex unless you’re married..... that solves ALL of this!


13 posted on 08/27/2007 9:10:41 AM PDT by cjohnson1 (http://www.uncoveror.com/castro.htm)
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To: qam1
...you see hordes, or groups of thirty something girls who may never marry( unless they find a foreigner), who may never have kids,(unless they decide to go it alone), and who are in a sense doomed to the frustrations and none of the glamour of the lives of women we saw in Friends, on Ally McBeal, on Sex in the City.

Another twit who hasn't figured out that SEX IN THE CITY and ALLY McBEAL and all that junk from Cosmo amd Ms is nothing but garbage and lies.

14 posted on 08/27/2007 9:11:07 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Nonstatist

Small independent island nation in the Mediterranean, south of Sicily and north of Tunisia on the African coast.


15 posted on 08/27/2007 9:12:17 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: qam1
This is actually quite encouraging to us "middle aged balding bore of a foreign pompous man" types.
16 posted on 08/27/2007 9:14:22 AM PDT by Kenton (All vices in moderation. I don't want to overdo any but I don't want to skip any either.)
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To: qam1
I am in my 40's, divorced, educated, employed and heterosexual. I have been surprised how many women my age there are out there on on-line dating sites. Amazingly 60% want to bitch about their ex, 25% want complete domination of someone else's life, and the lat 15% are just horny. I can see why some guys my age stick with younger women just to get away from the 60%.

Ladies, do not use the cow and milk analogy if you don't need the whole hog when you just want a little sausage.

17 posted on 08/27/2007 9:15:28 AM PDT by pikachu (Be alert -- we need more lerts!)
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To: qam1

http://www.americanwomensuck.com


18 posted on 08/27/2007 9:16:52 AM PDT by Jaysun (It's outlandishly inappropriate to suggest that I'm wrong.)
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To: Nonstatist

Malta has very interesting Medieval and pre-Medieval ruins, and a unique seafood-based cuisine with elements from both northern Europe and North Africa.

I suppose the time to enjoy it would be whenever’s the off-season for sex tourism.


19 posted on 08/27/2007 9:17:39 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Gravity! It's not just a good idea, it's the law!)
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To: pikachu

My brother has the same stats. Had, I should say ... last year he married a nice British girl who’s in her mid-20’s.


20 posted on 08/27/2007 9:18:45 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Gravity! It's not just a good idea, it's the law!)
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To: mware

“and who are in a sense doomed to the frustrations and none of the glamour of the lives of women we saw in Friends, on Ally McBeal, on Sex in the City.”

vs.

“and yet many of them will have a round of relationships, which are often just free sex for the male, but probably not lasting commitment, or the kind of commitment that is definitely preferable if you would like to have children.”

No contradiction in terms here!!!

How many of those TV show gals ended up getting married and having kids?


21 posted on 08/27/2007 9:20:18 AM PDT by crazyshrink
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To: qam1
This is not just a local phenomenon. I was at dinner last Friday and watching this middle aged balding bore of a foreign pompous man talk while two very young female beauties sat opposite him. He just talked. They just looked at him, occasionally nodding or saying yes. It was a one way conversation. They were dressed to the nines. He was buying them dinner and God knows what else?

$20 says this was a father and his two daughters who hadn't seen each other in 1-2 years, and went out for a nice dinner to celebrate and catch up... not that the "journalist" cares to do any fact-finding.

22 posted on 08/27/2007 9:20:39 AM PDT by Teacher317
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To: qam1

It’s because they’re snotty when they’re young and wanted to fool around during their youth, now, the men their age have no interest in marriage, they blew it ...


23 posted on 08/27/2007 9:22:21 AM PDT by Scythian
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To: Truth29
The answer to an old trivia question. “What is the name of the only English speaking democracy in the Mediterranean?”

And the answer to another trivia question. "What is the hands-down, absolute favorite port of call for a sailor in the US Navy?"

24 posted on 08/27/2007 9:22:41 AM PDT by Drew68
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To: live+let_live

I’m not sure I agree. Men seem to go for the ‘high maintenance’ woman even while they complain about ‘high maintenance’ women.


25 posted on 08/27/2007 9:28:39 AM PDT by Lorianne
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To: Nonstatist; qam1; Truth29
Where in the he!! is Malta ?

Obviously you're not a student of WWII. Even though it is small, it was a very strategically important island south of Sicily. The British were able to hold it throughout the whole war, and it served as both a submarine and air force base in the middle of the Mediterranean surrounded by Axis strongholds in Italy and Libya. It was a great base for intercepting Axis supply convoys traveling between Europe and north Africa. It also helped keep the Mediterranean Sea open for the Allies.

26 posted on 08/27/2007 9:29:29 AM PDT by Paleo Conservative
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To: cjohnson1
"No wonder the Bible says No sex unless you’re married..... that solves ALL of this!"

Well, maybe not all.

Add paternalism where both fathers get to decide who gets married and you solve a whole lot more. Anytime women are allowed to make the choices, you will get men who can deceive them. It is very easy.

Weren't we all on our best behavior to 'catch' our brides?

27 posted on 08/27/2007 9:30:26 AM PDT by GourmetDan
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To: Rummyfan

Also the birthplace of the great Andy Partridge of XTC.


28 posted on 08/27/2007 9:30:27 AM PDT by dfwgator (The University of Florida - Still Championship U)
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To: pikachu

My batchelor friends say they can’t afford those retread gold diggers. Maybe some young women still marry for love, but the divorcees are looking for money, big houses and fancy new cars the second time around.


29 posted on 08/27/2007 9:32:03 AM PDT by TexasRepublic (Afghan protest - "Death to Dog Washers!")
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To: qam1

What a shame. Some of the prettiest women I’ve ever seen were in Malta.


30 posted on 08/27/2007 9:32:42 AM PDT by posterchild (If you don't look ahead nobody will, there's no time to kill - Clint Black)
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To: qam1

I married a young foreign bride, 12 years younger then me. We have a really great relationship. I talked to a lot of foreign women until I found one that clicked with me.

Heres the thing.. men have to compete in an international economy now. And women also have to compete now in an international competition for desireable men. You could get an obese 35 year old American wife steeped in the ideals of feminism, and jaded against men. Or you could get a 22 year old from another nation where they are taught that building a family and making her family happy is the ideal of womanhood.

Also education wise.. these foreign women are better educated lol.. its intimidating when you talk to a young girl who is beautiful and she knows classical musicians and has actually read philosophy books. Often with a real valuable degree, instead of a fluff degree.


31 posted on 08/27/2007 9:33:14 AM PDT by ran20
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To: Drew68

Let us not falta when we alta Malta and Yalta.


32 posted on 08/27/2007 9:33:58 AM PDT by posterchild (If you don't look ahead nobody will, there's no time to kill - Clint Black)
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To: qam1
The way Ms. Micallef writes, it looks as if her Maltese women-friends chose to be party girls and now are complaining that men took them up on it.

Well, here’s some news for Ms. Micallef; men play with party girls, they don’t marry them. In western civilization women marry into the man’s family. That means they must be compatible with the man’s requirements. And that normally means being supportive of the husband, maintaining a comfortable home environment, and being of prime child-bearing/nurturing age & disposition. A woman who hasn’t married by her 30s is judged not to be capable of any of these.

It should come as no shock to Ms. Micallef and her women-friends that men will play with party girls but not marry them. Men will not take home a pass-around-pack to their mothers. If a man cannot find a suitable woman he will not marry. Why should he? A life of meaningless partying is far preferable to that of guaranteed home hell. And that’s all Ms. Micallef’s women-friends offer. Western women used to understand this.

I say to Ms. Micallef; “Your friends made their choices. And those choices have consequences. They made their beds. Now they can lie in them.”

33 posted on 08/27/2007 9:36:58 AM PDT by DakotaGator
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To: qam1

Men (of all ages) have always wanted easy sex. I would go so far as to say this is an instinct, and not based in any particular culture.

What (modern) feminism did is to cause women to lower their standards from “Would I want to have kids with this man? Would I spend the rest of my life with him?” down to “Will he give me a fun night/week/month?” Not surprisingly, with lowered standards came lower quality products.

In addition to eroding the quality of the average male out there, there was another huge feminizing force from those self-same feminists on the male population. So those 30-something women find themselves late out of the gate and facing low-commmitment losers and nancy boys that don’t attract them at all.

Pity those lonely women for feminism did its best to kill the traditional male (strong, self-sufficient, a good provider) and it did a pretty good job of it.


34 posted on 08/27/2007 9:38:47 AM PDT by WileyC
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To: All

I hate these threads.


35 posted on 08/27/2007 9:39:22 AM PDT by najida (Just call me a chicken rancher :))
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To: qam1

Solution—China and India. The severe lack of girl babies in those counties will make this little blip seem like nothing.


36 posted on 08/27/2007 9:41:14 AM PDT by rod1
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To: najida

LOL! :-)


37 posted on 08/27/2007 9:48:31 AM PDT by JoeSixPack1
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To: najida

I don’t know, they can be good for a laugh...


38 posted on 08/27/2007 9:50:03 AM PDT by patton (Congress would lose money running a brothel.)
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To: qam1

Unbelievable. That this author continues to deride men, then complains why men don’t want to commit to a life of being deridded, is simply astounding.


39 posted on 08/27/2007 9:54:20 AM PDT by CSM ("Dogs and beer. Proof that God loves us.- Al Gator (8/24/2007))
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To: najida
I hate these threads.

Ditto.

So why am I here? ;-)

40 posted on 08/27/2007 9:57:48 AM PDT by RosieCotton
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To: qam1

A Man needs a femihag like a Bicycle needs a Fish.

Pray for W and Our Troops


41 posted on 08/27/2007 10:00:39 AM PDT by bray (Member of the FR President Bush underground)
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To: qam1
See you one GenX ping, raise one Generation Jones ping.

Generation Jones is 1954 - 1965.

42 posted on 08/27/2007 10:02:07 AM PDT by Jack Black
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To: najida

No, these threads are always fun. And it’s good to see that women bitching about men is a worldwide phenomenon.


43 posted on 08/27/2007 10:04:46 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: pikachu
Amazingly 60% want to bitch about their ex, 25% want complete domination of someone else's life, and the lat 15% are just horny.

I have encountered many of the first two types - now I need to meet some of the fifteen-percenters!

44 posted on 08/27/2007 10:07:03 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: qam1

Whenever I hear about American men marrying foreign women, I always think of, “Eddie......I want to talk to yooooooo. I’m an American women now, I want what’s coming to me. HALF!!”


45 posted on 08/27/2007 10:09:18 AM PDT by dfwgator (The University of Florida - Still Championship U)
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To: qam1
As a woman who's been happily married for almost 25 years, I have some advice for these babes:

1. Don't tart yourself up with all that make-up, expensive 'do-s and those dragon-like fingernails.

(That stuff scares away the very kind of guy you claim you're looking for -- the nice guy who's looking for a decent wife and mother to his children.)

2. Don't sneer at the idea of "playing second fiddle" to a husband, as the article puts it.

(Forget the demands of feminist harridans. None of them are happy. If a wife understands that there are times when it's best that she defer to her husband, then both she and her husband and children will be much, much happier in life.)

3. Don't watch Ally McBeal and Sex in the City.

(And if you do, never forget that those shows are puerile fantasy --and were dreamed up and written by gay men.)

46 posted on 08/27/2007 10:10:04 AM PDT by shhrubbery! (Max Boot: Joe Wilson has sold more whoppers than Burger King)
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To: Nonstatist
Where in the he!! is Malta ?

Just southeast of Kemmuna, of course.

47 posted on 08/27/2007 10:16:19 AM PDT by LexBaird (Tyrannosaurus Lex, unapologetic carnivore)
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To: Nonstatist
Never heard of The Maltese Falcon? The stuff dreams are made of...

I was in Malta once, while driving across Montana. I thought it was going to be about that Malta until I started reading the story.

48 posted on 08/27/2007 10:16:26 AM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: shhrubbery!
1. Don't tart yourself up with all that make-up, expensive 'do-s and those dragon-like fingernails.

Don't forget the tattoos.

49 posted on 08/27/2007 10:19:38 AM PDT by Moonman62 (The issue of whether cheap labor makes America great should have been settled by the Civil War.)
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To: Rummyfan
I agree with you 100%.

I used to think radical feminism has ruined many, many young American women. Now I'm wondering which has been more destructive -- radical feminism or the sh!t that passes for "entertainment" on prime-time television and modern print media.

50 posted on 08/27/2007 10:22:01 AM PDT by Alberta's Child (I'm out on the outskirts of nowhere . . . with ghosts on my trail, chasing me there.)
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