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'Silent treatment' leads women to death: study
CTV ^ | Sep. 4 2007 10:05 AM ET

Posted on 09/04/2007 8:08:13 AM PDT by Grig

A study has found that women who use the 'silent treatment' with their spouses during arguments could be on their way to early deaths.

"This is the first time we've seen anything this dramatic that predicts death or heart disease that's not physiological," Dr. Elaine Eaker, who authored the study, told CTV's Canada AM.

The study found that women who silenced themselves during marital disagreements were four times more likely to die earlier than women who expressed their feelings during arguments with their spouses.

However, Eaker found that the health of men who indulged in the same "self-silencing" practice were not adversely affected.

"Even though men and women are equally as likely to, what we call 'self-silence,' during conflict, men did not have any affects on their health if they 'self-silenced' -- it was only the women that suffered detrimental affects on their health," Eaker said.

The study, called "Marital Status, Marital Strain, and Risk of Coronary Heart Disease or Total Mortality: The Framingham Offspring Study," published in the journal Psychomatic Medicine, was based on data from the Framingham Heart Study.

The Framingham Heart study follows over 5,000 men and women in the town of Framingham, Ma. and tracks their health over an extended period of time. The study is credited with providing much of the common knowledge into how diet and exercise affect heart disease.

In Eaker's study, traditional methods of determining marital quality such as the level of satisfaction and the amount of conflict were measured. However, the study also asked what behaviour strategies were used during marital conflicts.

Eaker said the actual practice of 'self-silencing,' not depression or anger, actually caused the health problems, even when other factors such as age, socio-economic background, levels of cholesterol and obesity were taken into account.

"It was the self-silencing that seemed to be particularly detrimental," Eaker said.

The most common illness suffered by women who often used 'silent treatment' with their partners was cancer and the next common affliction was heart disease.

According to Eaker, the study she conducted was the first to look at the factors of behaviour, heart disease and mortality in the context of marital relationships.

Couples should focus on improving their communication to combat "self-silencing," Eaker said.

"I think it goes back to trying to have more constructive communication and having a safe environment where both spouses can equally share and communicate," Eaker said.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: communication; harpies; hearthealth; nagnagnag; psychology; seennotheard; shushwoman; silenttreatment
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1 posted on 09/04/2007 8:08:19 AM PDT by Grig
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To: Grig
Reminds me of a joke -

Q: Why do men usually die before their wives?
A: Because they want to...

2 posted on 09/04/2007 8:11:18 AM PDT by Andonius_99 (There are two sides to every issue. One is right, the other is wrong; but the middle is always evil.)
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To: Grig

Ping for later reading.

Thanks.


3 posted on 09/04/2007 8:11:21 AM PDT by ConservativeMind
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To: Grig

Hillary should live a long time based on the conclusion of this study.


4 posted on 09/04/2007 8:12:09 AM PDT by Man50D (Fair Tax, you earn it, you keep it!)
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To: Grig

Does this mean men are killing women? LOL


5 posted on 09/04/2007 8:12:27 AM PDT by Snoopers-868th
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To: Grig
"It was the self-silencing that seemed to be particularly detrimental," Eaker said.

Based on this, I predict that my wife will live a long but not quiet life.

6 posted on 09/04/2007 8:14:14 AM PDT by JimSEA
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To: Grig

Oddly enough, men who received “the silent treatment” from their wives lived considerably longer (and actually reported enjoying televised sporting events).


7 posted on 09/04/2007 8:14:52 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: Grig

I’d guess that this study really reflects the outcome of people who have all of the personality defects that are common to one who routinely practices interactions similar to and associated with the “silent treatment”.....in otherwords those persons who derive pleasure from extended conflict, whatever its nature.


8 posted on 09/04/2007 8:15:03 AM PDT by Vn_survivor_67-68
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To: Grig

This makes sense. My theory:

For men, silence is a coping mechanism under stressful situations of all kinds. In arguments, silence is a means of avoidance.

For many women, silence is a revenge strategy, which creates its own stress and is a sign of a passive-aggressive disposition.

For the record, I confess I am silent more than my wife.


9 posted on 09/04/2007 8:15:16 AM PDT by dinoparty
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To: Grig
However, Eaker found that the health of men who indulged in the same "self-silencing" practice were not adversely affected.

Phhhhew. I have nothing to worry about then.

10 posted on 09/04/2007 8:15:29 AM PDT by jdm
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To: Grig
So bitching is therapeutic?

Great......

11 posted on 09/04/2007 8:15:51 AM PDT by Cogadh na Sith (Gen X: I'll be the 'Junior Guy' until I'm 70.)
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To: Grig

This makes sense, since silence is such an unnatural state for women. I suspect that a study of men who do too much shopping would reveal the same results.


12 posted on 09/04/2007 8:17:14 AM PDT by ElkGroveDan (When toilet paper is a luxury, you have achieved communism.)
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To: Grig

Sorry, but I just don’t put a lot of stock in these studies anymore.


13 posted on 09/04/2007 8:17:17 AM PDT by Dreagon
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To: PBRSTREETGANG
Oddly enough, men who received “the silent treatment” from their wives lived considerably longer (and actually reported enjoying televised sporting events).

Combine that with our extremely advanced selective hearing and we've got some great defense and counter-measure capability.

14 posted on 09/04/2007 8:17:28 AM PDT by EarthBound (Ex Deo,gratia. Ex astris,scientia (Duncan Hunter in 2008! http://www.gohunter08.com))
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To: Grig
"self-silencing" == passive-aggressive
15 posted on 09/04/2007 8:17:42 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Islam is a religion of peace, and Muslims reserve the right to kill anyone who says otherwise.)
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To: Grig

Men have ways of dealing with it, such as taking a drive, listening to music, playing an instrument, or talking about it with a friend over a few beers. Women just keep it inside forever.


16 posted on 09/04/2007 8:18:39 AM PDT by wastedyears (Alright, hold tight, I'm a highway staaaaaaaaaaaaarrr)
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To: Dreagon
Sorry, but I just don’t put a lot of stock in these studies anymore.

A recent study shows that 74% of these studies are complete horses**t.

17 posted on 09/04/2007 8:19:34 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Why isnít this in Breaking News????)
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To: Man50D

Both of those two are getting long in the tooth. Speaking from experience, in his sixties, a person is no longer assured of an endless bit of time in this realm at least. We all have to meet our Maker eventually, and, as Bill once said on another matter “SOONER RATHER THAN LATER”.


18 posted on 09/04/2007 8:19:41 AM PDT by Twinkie (Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God . . .)
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To: Grig
The study found that women who silenced themselves during marital
disagreements were four times more likely to die earlier


If this applies to non-marital relationships...
I suspect I and most of my fellow males have each sent a couple of
females to early graves.

But, it ain't our fault.

When you get no response after saying "PLEASE, just tell me
what you want; I'm not a psychic mind-reader"...
an early death is the fault of the silent sphinx, not of the
poor fellow asking the question.
19 posted on 09/04/2007 8:23:18 AM PDT by VOA
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To: Grig

Silent treatment?

Looks like my wife is destined for a long and healthy life.


20 posted on 09/04/2007 8:23:42 AM PDT by vetsvette (Bring Him Back)
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To: wastedyears

“Women just keep it inside forever.”

My wife once had a co-worker who kept a book where she recorded things her husband did wrong so she could use it as ammo when they had fights.


21 posted on 09/04/2007 8:25:31 AM PDT by Grig
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To: Grig
Job 21:25 And another dieth in the bitterness of his soul, and never eateth with pleasure.
22 posted on 09/04/2007 8:27:25 AM PDT by semaj (Just shoot the bastards! * Your results may vary. Void where prohibited.)
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To: Grig

Fortunately for my wife, but not always so fortunately for me, she never uses the silent treatment during our disagreements.


23 posted on 09/04/2007 8:32:33 AM PDT by Southside_Chicago_Republican
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To: Grig

I don’t mean to sound rude, but would that include things like leaving the seat up?


24 posted on 09/04/2007 8:33:59 AM PDT by wastedyears (Alright, hold tight, I'm a highway staaaaaaaaaaaaarrr)
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To: Grig
I wouldnt' be able to give a silent treatment....I need to yell (colorfully) and get it out....
It's healthy.
25 posted on 09/04/2007 8:36:49 AM PDT by Fawn (http://www.brightlion.com/InHope/InHope_en.aspx)
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To: Grig
"My wife once had a co-worker who kept a book where she recorded things her husband did wrong so she could use it as ammo when they had fights."

My ex had a photographic memory (really) so she didn't even treat herself to the cathartic exercise of writing it out.

26 posted on 09/04/2007 8:37:07 AM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Grig

At the gates of Heaven there are two lines: “This line is for men who were abused by their wives.” “This line is for men who were never abused by their wives.”

Line #1 stretched on and on and on, out of sight.

Line #2 had one man standing in it.

The admitting angel said to the man in Line #2, “How fortunate you were to have such a wife!”

The man said, “My wife told me to stand in this line.”


27 posted on 09/04/2007 8:38:37 AM PDT by Alouette (Vicious Babushka)
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To: Andonius_99

Q: why do married men live longer?
A: They actually don’t, it just feeeeeeeeeels longer.


28 posted on 09/04/2007 8:39:14 AM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: Grig

bookmark


29 posted on 09/04/2007 8:40:47 AM PDT by GOP Poet
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To: Grig
However, Eaker found that the health of men who indulged in the same "self-silencing" practice were not adversely affected.

Isn't being silent a key to not getting beat up by your wife? :-)

30 posted on 09/04/2007 8:57:15 AM PDT by CharlesWayneCT
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To: Grig
My ornery grandmother used the silent treatment on her husband (my grandfather) and on her daughter (my mother) when she was irked at them.

My grandmother was never sick a day in her life and died just 2 months short of her 100th birthday.

31 posted on 09/04/2007 9:13:02 AM PDT by PacesPaines
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To: longtermmemmory

My wife is a Boston Irish redhead with the temper to match, if she gets quiet, I know to run, she is looking for something to hit me with.


32 posted on 09/04/2007 9:18:50 AM PDT by Hydroshock ("The Constitution should be taken like mountain whiskey -- undiluted and untaxed." - Sam Ervin)
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To: Grig

‘The study found that women who silenced themselves during marital disagreements were four times more likely to die earlier than women who expressed their feelings during arguments with their spouses. ‘

I’d love to know how they support this data.

We’re to believe that women who go ‘silent’ in response became ‘chatty Kathy’s’ to researchers about it?

Pardon me if I just laugh at this nonsense.


33 posted on 09/04/2007 9:21:01 AM PDT by Badeye (You know its a kook site when they ban the word 'kook')
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To: Andonius_99

Another joke back atcha - “Ladies don’t sweat, belch, or fart, so if they didn’t bitch they’d blow up.”


34 posted on 09/04/2007 9:24:29 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Badeye
"We’re to believe that women who go ‘silent’ in response became ‘chatty Kathy’s’ to researchers about it?"

They discuss it with anybody but you, ask your wifes hairdresser...

35 posted on 09/04/2007 9:39:31 AM PDT by gnarledmaw ("Righteous Violence Zealot")
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To: Grig

“My wife once had a co-worker who kept a book where she recorded things her husband did wrong so she could use it as ammo when they had fights.”

Why that’s a great idea!

;)


36 posted on 09/04/2007 9:41:33 AM PDT by GovernmentIsTheProblem (The GOP is "Whig"ing out.)
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To: gnarledmaw

They discuss it with anybody but you, ask your wifes hairdresser...

Sorry, I actually talk to my wife every day. I know, I know, its ‘shocking’....(chuckle)


37 posted on 09/04/2007 9:52:13 AM PDT by Badeye (You know its a kook site when they ban the word 'kook')
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To: Man50D

“Hillary should live a long time based on the conclusion of this study.”

Ha! This is so true.


38 posted on 09/04/2007 9:52:28 AM PDT by Old Grumpy
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To: Old Grumpy; Man50D
“Hillary should live a long time based on the conclusion of this study.” Ha! This is so true.

Of course she will: Heaven doesn't want her, and Hell's afraid she'd take over.

39 posted on 09/04/2007 10:01:26 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Be deranged in a consistent manner. Manson was nuts, but at least he was always on message." --dead)
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To: Grig

Well, the effort an angry woman expends to keep quiet is roughly equivalent to the effort an angry man expends to chop three cords of firewood...so I guess this makes sense. ;)


40 posted on 09/04/2007 10:04:44 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("Wise men don't need to debate; men who need to debate are not wise." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: Grig
However, Eaker found that the health of men who indulged in the same "self-silencing" practice were not adversely affected.

Simple explanation. The silent women are still raging on the inside, while the silent man has moved on and just wants a beer.

41 posted on 09/04/2007 10:17:52 AM PDT by SampleMan (Islamic tolerance is practiced by killing you last.)
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To: Grig

Bottled up is bad? Nonsense. When you’re not speaking to him, you can always speak to your mother!


42 posted on 09/04/2007 10:18:18 AM PDT by Graymatter ( Goodbye!)
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To: Grig

I’m going to live to be over a hundred!


43 posted on 09/04/2007 10:23:49 AM PDT by linn37 (Phlebotomists need love too.)
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To: PacesPaines
My grandmother was never sick a day in her life and died just 2 months short of her 100th birthday.

Just think how long she would have lived if she had just let it out. ;^)

My condolences on your Grandmother's passing.

44 posted on 09/04/2007 10:26:18 AM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: Grig

My ex will live forever.


45 posted on 09/04/2007 10:27:26 AM PDT by SmithL (I don't do Barf Alerts, you're old enough to read and decide for yourself)
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To: Grig
My wife once had a co-worker who kept a book where she recorded things her husband did wrong so she could use it as ammo when they had fights.

That could be simply a survival mechanism. If she's like me she draws a blank when, during an argument, the husband says, "Give me one example of ___________." And if she hasn't written it down she can't remember, espcially in a highly tense situation like a marital fight.

46 posted on 09/04/2007 10:30:09 AM PDT by Lizavetta ( Politicians: When they're speaking, they're lying - when they're not speaking, they're stealing.)
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To: Joe 6-pack

Women remember what they heard, not necessarily what you said.


47 posted on 09/04/2007 10:35:57 AM PDT by steve8714 ("Hey honey, since you're up would you get me a beer?")
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To: Grig; Eaker; Squantos
Eaker found that the health of men who indulged in the same "self-silencing" practice were not adversely affected.

And just how much are we paying you for this study, Eaker?

48 posted on 09/04/2007 10:37:47 AM PDT by Larry Lucido (Hunter 2008)
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To: dinoparty

MY theory is that where women have a need to self-silence it is because the man is abusive or controlling and there are many areas in her life where she does not feel safe. Silence seems safer than speaking and does not cause immediate backlash. It is the stress of the entire situation that causes a variety of physical problems.

In a perfect world, women would be able to leave an abusive or controlling spouse, but in reality there are many reasons that women feel stuck in these situations. Many times this type of partner undermines a woman’s confidence so that even if she is able to leave, she is not confident enough to do so.


49 posted on 09/04/2007 10:53:19 AM PDT by Bookwoman (Been there)
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To: Grig
A study has found that women who use the 'silent treatment' with their spouses during arguments could be on their way to early deaths.

Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'll be free at last!!!!

Best news I've heard all week.

50 posted on 09/04/2007 10:53:49 AM PDT by Dr._Joseph_Warren
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