Posted on 09/07/2007 12:15:15 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Historians have discovered that Dante actually envisioned a 10th circle of hell, with sinners condemned to spend their eternities traveling from one destination to the next on any one of America's insufferable airlines. It appears that the people running this industry have found a way to make every single aspect of this form of travel an experience in misery.
The latest casualty is to be found in the in-flight movies. Most offerings these days are monumental cinematic embarrassments, movies that would never rise to the level of the $1 stack at Blockbuster, and probably cost the airlines even less. So most passengers take a pass these days when those $5 headphones are offered, finding it more entertaining to stare at the back of the seats in front of them.
I can lose myself easily in work or a book while these movies are playing, but a strange thing happened a couple of weeks ago during one of these flights. After hearing the ping of a couple of attendant call buttons, I looked up and saw that all the screens had gone blank. A few minutes later, the stewardess came on the intercom to announce that because of numerous complaints from passengers with families about the graphic violence being shown in this particular film, it had been stopped.
Chalk up a new outrage. The airlines are now airing graphically violent and sexualized R-rated movies, and it matters not a bit to them that children cannot help but sit there and watch, headphones or not. Delta started showing R-rated films in December, while United and US Airways have increased the frequency with which they show such films. Last month, the three airlines all featured "Fracture," in which Anthony Hopkins shoots his wife in the face, then drags her body away from the pool of blood.
The New York Times published a report on the trend, focusing on Thomas Fine and Sara Susskind of Cambridge, Mass., who were forced to spend two hours on a United Airlines flight desperately trying to distract their 6-year-old son from screens displaying the R-rated "Shooter," which depicts multiple gory killings.
"It's not like he can look away when he hears the sound (of gunshots coming through nearby headphones), and he's sitting on a plane bored, and he's 6," Fine said. The Times also featured a mother whose 7-year-old daughter has nightmares after watching a graphic preview for the latest "King Kong" movie on a US Airways flight.
But even more shocking than that frustrating situation is how callous some airline executives sound in response to protests. "Parents have to be responsible for the actions of their kids -- whether they shouldn't look at the screen or look away," said Eric Kleiman, director of product marketing for Continental Airlines. If you think that was a dodge, try this: "People love Pepsi, and we don't serve that, so there you go, we just ruined their flight. That's an accurate analogy."
That's a ridiculous analogy. Next we will be told that a half-ounce stale pretzel bag constitutes a meal. Such is the arrogance of those who care not a wit about their passengers.
Crumbling Hollywood standards in television and movies are spreading their imposing effects across the culture. The airlines defend their increasing embrace of R-rated films by saying this is the direction that entertainment is headed, so therefore they're only following where the market is going. Airlines are also moving into showing sleazy television shows, like ABC's "Desperate Housewives," so young children can also now witness suburban adultery and seduction at 30,000 feet.
What in the world is wrong with these airlines? For decades, they entertained their passengers with quality films. Every once in a blue moon, they still do, and passengers are treated to a movie they otherwise might never know existed. A couple of years ago, I caught "The Legend of the Pianist on the Ocean," a fascinating work of creative genius. A few months ago it was "Copying Beethoven," with an extraordinary performance by Ed Harris in the lead role.
When quality films contained adult matter, the airlines simply edited it out, respecting that impressionable children -- and discerning adults, too -- were on board. Have you ever heard a passenger exclaim after a flight that he would have enjoyed the film more had there been graphic violence or gratuitous obscenities?
The situation has become so obnoxious that North Carolina parent Jesse Kalisher has started a Website called KidSafeFilms.org to lobby the airlines to stop this visual abuse of children. Good for him. Even better: Next time you're on one of those insufferable flights, and one of these shows comes on, do as the passengers did on my flight a couple of weeks ago. Raise hell.
“”Maybe they should provide hookers on the airline flights. Passengers who don’t want to see the action could always avert their eyes.””
That is an excellent point, by the way the party where that took place was a Continental Airlines party (after it had broken up of course).
Spoken:
These are the times that try men's souls. In the course of our nation's history, the people of Boston have rallied bravely whenever the rights of men have been threatened. Today, a new crisis has arisen. The Metropolitan Transit Authority, better known as the M. T. A., is attempting to levy a burdensome tax on the population in the form of a subway fare increase. Citizens, hear me out! This could happen to you!
(Eight bar guitar, banjo introduction)
Well, let me tell you of the story of a man named Charley on a tragic and fateful day. He put ten cents in his pocket, kissed his wife and family, went to ride on the M. T. A.
Chorus:
Well, did he ever return? No, he never returned and his fate is still unlearned. He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston. He's the man who never returned.
Charlie handed in his dime at the Kendall Square Station and he changed for Jamaica Plain. When he got there the conductor told him, "One more nickel." Charlie couldn't get off of that train.
(Chorus)
Now, all night long Charlie rides through the station, crying, "What will become of me?!! How can I afford to see my sister in Chelsea or my cousin in Roxbury?"
(Chorus)
Charlie's wife goes down to the Scollay Square Station every day at quarter past two, And through the open window she hands Charlie a sandwich as the train comes rumblin' through.
(Chorus)
Now, you citizens of Boston, don't you think it's a scandal how the people have to pay and pay? Fight the fare increase! Vote for George O'Brien! Get poor Charlie off the M. T. A.
(Chorus)
He's the man who never returned. He's the man who never returned. Et tu, Charlie?
Maybe children should be restricted on flights. I spent a transatlantic flight listening to one throwing a temper tantrum in the seat behind me.
Spoken:
These are the times that try men's souls. In the course of our nation's history, the people of Boston have rallied bravely whenever the rights of men have been threatened. Today, a new crisis has arisen. The Metropolitan Transit Authority, better known as the M. T. A., is attempting to levy a burdensome tax on the population in the form of a subway fare increase. Citizens, hear me out! This could happen to you!
(Eight bar guitar, banjo introduction)
Well, let me tell you of the story of a man named Charley on a tragic and fateful day. He put ten cents in his pocket, kissed his wife and family, went to ride on the M. T. A.
Chorus:
Well, did he ever return? No, he never returned and his fate is still unlearned. He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston. He's the man who never returned.
Charlie handed in his dime at the Kendall Square Station and he changed for Jamaica Plain. When he got there the conductor told him, "One more nickel." Charlie couldn't get off of that train.
(Chorus)
Now, all night long Charlie rides through the station, crying, "What will become of me?!! How can I afford to see my sister in Chelsea or my cousin in Roxbury?"
(Chorus)
Charlie's wife goes down to the Scollay Square Station every day at quarter past two, And through the open window she hands Charlie a sandwich as the train comes rumblin' through.
(Chorus)
Now, you citizens of Boston, don't you think it's a scandal how the people have to pay and pay? Fight the fare increase! Vote for George O'Brien! Get poor Charlie off the M. T. A.
(Chorus)
He's the man who never returned. He's the man who never returned. Et tu, Charlie?
(Kingston Trio)
I wonder if execs of airlines that operate in Atlanta have read Ga Code 16-5-70 (b) Any person commits the offense of cruelty to children in the first degree when such person maliciously causes a child under the age of 18 cruel or excessive physical or mental pain.
Or 16-12-100.1 Electronically furnishing obscene material to minors
If they start indicting senior executives, the airline policies might be reviewed.
Probably the family of a service man. Why don't you ask for help for your crusade at Kos.
By the way - it was really nice of you to offer to help with the child.
Best,
L
Huh? It was an Pakastani family dressed in traditional attire flying out of Heathrow. But, you're right -- it was probably an American serviceman's family.
By the way - it was really nice of you to offer to help with the child.
This comment is asinine.
Then, when we do arrive, we are told that we have arrived at our "final destination." (I certainly hope not--LOL!)
But then, I often have a weird thought processor.
Customers USED to have less security restrictions
That has NOTHING to do with the airlines. If anything the added security precautions should make the airlines want to treat you nicer.
Airlines USED to have to try harder to fill flights
I will agree with this but I think it's a combination of two things, population and increased wages.
Now EVERYONE flies - airports are like GREYHOUND bus terminals and customers have no clue - only demands.
Demands? The only thing I demand out of an airline anymore is that they treat me like a human being and not a piece of baggage.
I'm sorry...are you actually saying that a passenger is a whiner if they don't want their six year old kid to watch an R-rated movie? Would you say the same thing if the airline served them dog crap for an in flight meal? "Dran whiners, you get to cross the U.S. in a few hours, so eat your dog crap and shut up!"
I once went on a date with a Delta stewardess (I think they were still called that, back then).
She told me that Continental was going to merge with Aer Lingus. They were going to call it “Con-A-Lingus.”
Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
Airplanes were invented to help business people reach larger markets. The airlines were created to cater to them. Maybe there should be special “child friendly” flights offered after working hours.
Jumbo shrimp
Near miss
Same difference
And we can add a few of our own:
Final destination
Master copy
...
“those who care not a wit’
Whit, you idiot, not wit. I thought only bloggers were in need of multiple layers of editors...
It just seems that for people who are so blessed in every way, our only challenges are to find ridiculous inconveniences and blow them all out of proportion.
Ever tried troop transport?
The Kingston Trio. My parents had a huge collection of vinyl records with TKT, Peter Paul and Mary, Len Mink and tons of folk songs that I wore out as I listed to them over and over again so I could memorize all the words. I haven’t heard MTA in over 20 years... boy does that bring back some memories... now it will be stuck in my head all night!
Thanks for the smile!
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