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Brides' fathers banned from giving away daughters
The Local ^ | Sept. 21 | James Savage

Posted on 09/21/2007 9:56:24 AM PDT by Bushwacker777

"A priest in Stockholm has come under fire for not allowing a bride to be walked down the aisle by her father. But church authorities have defended the decision, saying that the tradition is foreign and sexist.

The row started when a bride due to marry on Saturday in a church in the Stockholm archipelago asked to be given away by her father. The priest conducting the ceremony refused the bride's request.

"These are two equal people, and being given away has never been a Swedish tradition," said Rev Yvonne Hallin, priest in charge of the Church of Sweden parish of Djurö, near Stockholm."

(Excerpt) Read more at thelocal.se ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: europeanchristians; feminism; marriage; notthiscrapagain; pc; readyforislam; secularization; sexualequality; sweden; weddingbells
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1 posted on 09/21/2007 9:56:26 AM PDT by Bushwacker777
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To: Bushwacker777

Then who answers the question:

Who giveth away this bride?..........


2 posted on 09/21/2007 9:58:26 AM PDT by Red Badger (ALL that CARBON in ALL that oil & coal was once in the atmospere. We're just putting it back!)
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To: Bushwacker777

She’s not really a priest; she’s a minister.


3 posted on 09/21/2007 9:59:03 AM PDT by steve8714
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To: steve8714
She’s not really a priest; she’s a minister.

And, not a very good minister, at that.

Did you expect the "reporter" to get the fact straight?

4 posted on 09/21/2007 10:00:10 AM PDT by wbill
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To: Red Badger

Herself?


5 posted on 09/21/2007 10:00:17 AM PDT by Eternal_Bear
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To: steve8714

But is she Christian?


6 posted on 09/21/2007 10:01:42 AM PDT by Bushwacker777
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To: Bushwacker777
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
7 posted on 09/21/2007 10:02:54 AM PDT by arbooz ("Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man." H.L.Mencken)
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To: Bushwacker777

Sweden is 85% atheist/agnostic. I am surprised they even have churches any more.


8 posted on 09/21/2007 10:05:29 AM PDT by stm (Fred Thompson in 08!)
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To: Bushwacker777
the tradition is foreign and sexist

If foreign and sexist traditions are illegal in Sweden, why does Sweden permit the presence of hundreds of thousands of hardline Sunni and Shi'ite Muslims in the country?

Moreover the giving away of the bride is an ancient custom among Scandinavians as well as other peoples.

In Scandinavian history, the groom's family paid the bride's father a bride-price called mundr before he allowed them to join hands in marriage.

By the Christian period, the mundr was symbolic - a demonstration by the groom that he had sufficient resources to provide for his bride.

The giving away of the bride survived as a symbolic gesture - basically of a father agreeing that the groom was accepted by the bride's family.

9 posted on 09/21/2007 10:05:46 AM PDT by wideawake (Why is it that so many self-proclaimed "Constitutionalists" know so little about the Constitution?)
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To: Red Badger

That’s the English and American tradition, to be sure. If you read the whole article, you’ll see that traditionally the bride and groom walk down the aisle together in Sweden. Different strokes, as they say. Still, it was ungracious of the priestess not to let the couple do it ‘their way’....


10 posted on 09/21/2007 10:06:16 AM PDT by CatoRenasci (Ceterum Censeo Arabiam Esse Delendam -- Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit)
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To: CatoRenasci

Do they throw rice at the newly weds or fish?.............


11 posted on 09/21/2007 10:08:04 AM PDT by Red Badger (ALL that CARBON in ALL that oil & coal was once in the atmospere. We're just putting it back!)
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To: arbooz

LOL


12 posted on 09/21/2007 10:09:04 AM PDT by Maceman
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To: Bushwacker777

Ordaining wymen has never been a Swedish tradition either....


13 posted on 09/21/2007 10:09:15 AM PDT by Kozak (Anti Shahada: There is no god named Allah, and Muhammed is a false prophet)
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To: CatoRenasci
Still, it was ungracious of the priestess not to let the couple do it ‘their way’....

Dunno 'bout that. Part of a priest's job is to ensure that the proper forms are followed. My priest friend has been asked (and refused) to do a lot of interesting wedding "enhancements."

This one doesn't seem all that injurious, but I don't know how Swedes have traditionally done things, either.

14 posted on 09/21/2007 10:13:42 AM PDT by r9etb
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To: arbooz

Give away the bride? NO! SELL THEM!


15 posted on 09/21/2007 10:14:40 AM PDT by Loud Mime (Life was better when cigarette companies could advertise and lawyers could not)
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To: Red Badger

Why would you throw rice at fish?


16 posted on 09/21/2007 10:18:06 AM PDT by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: Red Badger

How many weddings have you ever been to where they have a stocked pond?


17 posted on 09/21/2007 10:19:02 AM PDT by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: Bushwacker777

Our very bright, well educated (genetics PhD) daughter was proud and honored to be given away by her father. When the priest suggested that both sets of parents walk their respective children down the aisle, she firmly replied that her daddy had waited all her life for that honor and she would not clutter it up with some modern inclusive crap. And yes, that’s a quote.


18 posted on 09/21/2007 10:19:36 AM PDT by trimom
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To: Old Professer

HERB-BAKED FISH & RICE

1 1/2 c. hot herb or chicken bouillon
1/2 c. uncooked reg. rice
1/4 tsp. Italian seasoning
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1 pkg. (10 oz.) frozen chopped broccoli, thawed & drained
1 can (2.8 oz.) French fried onions
1 tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese
1 lb. unbreaded fish fillets, thawed if frozen
Paprika (opt.)
1/2 c. (2 oz.) shredded cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In 8 x 12 inch baking dish, combine hot bouillon, uncooked rice and seasoning. Bake, covered, at 375 degrees for 10 minutes. Top with broccoli, 1/2 can French fried onions and the Parmesan cheese. Place fish fillets diagonally down center of dish; sprinkle fish lightly with paprika.

Bake covered at 375 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes or until fish flakes easily with fork. Stir rice. Top with cheddar cheese and remaining onions; bake, uncovered, 3 minutes or until onions are golden brown. Preparation time: 10 minutes. Makes 3 to 4 serving


19 posted on 09/21/2007 10:20:12 AM PDT by Red Badger (ALL that CARBON in ALL that oil & coal was once in the atmospere. We're just putting it back!)
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To: Bushwacker777

It’s the bride’s wedding. If she wants her father to give her away, that’s her prerogative.


20 posted on 09/21/2007 10:20:56 AM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: Old Professer
How many weddings have you ever been to where they have a stocked pond?

How about goldfish in the Holy Water?.................

21 posted on 09/21/2007 10:21:24 AM PDT by Red Badger (ALL that CARBON in ALL that oil & coal was once in the atmospere. We're just putting it back!)
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To: wideawake

It’s really a survival of the concept — still prevalent today in Muslim lands — the women are the property of their fathers until their fathers transfer ownership of them to their husbands. Really not a great idea to retain traditions that give tacit support to that worldview.


22 posted on 09/21/2007 10:23:51 AM PDT by GovernmentShrinker
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To: trimom

I had my parents walk down the aisle together in front of me. I didn’t want my father to walk me down the aisle because we never had a close relationship. And at age 30-something when I got married, I didn’t feel like my parents were “giving me away.” The tradition just doesn’t work for everyone. That being said, the couple in the article should have been able to get married in the manner they chose.


23 posted on 09/21/2007 10:25:43 AM PDT by Abigail Adams
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To: metmom

??? Since when do we support the idea that churches should be required to violate their principles in order to let a bride, or anyone else, do whatever they want on church property and/or during a church ceremony or service?


24 posted on 09/21/2007 10:26:47 AM PDT by GovernmentShrinker
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To: CatoRenasci
Still, it was ungracious of the priestess not to let the couple do it ‘their way’....

Actually, I'm glad the priest stood up for what her church believes in. You and I may or may not agree with that church's beliefs, but I don't expect the church to have to change to accomodate everyone's wishes. What if it was two guys who wanted to marry each other or if it was a couple that wanted to have a Hindu ceremony in the church. Would it have been ungracious for the priest to refuse to let them do it "their way"?

25 posted on 09/21/2007 10:27:28 AM PDT by mngran
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To: r9etb

The Church of Sweden is nominally Lutheran. The question is: why would any Lutheran with enough sense of tradition to want to be “given away” by her father also want to be married by a priestess?


26 posted on 09/21/2007 10:27:30 AM PDT by Mr. Lucky
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To: Bushwacker777

OH! a woman feminist new age lesbo dyke priest...


27 posted on 09/21/2007 10:27:34 AM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: Bushwacker777

Why not change churches and get married in another church? Chances are if there’s disagreement with this feminazi over this, there will be disagreements over other issues...


28 posted on 09/21/2007 10:29:03 AM PDT by MichiganCheese (Pray for our nation's boys, our future will be determined by the kind of men we bring them up to be.)
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To: stm
Sweden is 85% atheist/agnostic. I am surprised they even have churches any more.

Actually I think it's a higher percentage. The only people in Swedish churches are elderly or immigrants. Swedes consider religion to be an anachronism - just like they consider marriage, or large families, or moms staying home with children.
29 posted on 09/21/2007 10:33:52 AM PDT by Zechariah_8_13 (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.)
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To: Mr. Lucky
The question is: why would any Lutheran with enough sense of tradition to want to be “given away” by her father also want to be married by a priestess?

I suppose it's pedantic to remind you that you're demanding theological consistency from a bride.... IMO, a bride's wedding demands have chiefly to do with her emotional fulfillment.

Whatever her feelings about priestesses, her wanting to be "given away" sound to me more like she wants to express her love for her father -- an emotional thing, and not a matter of sexism.

30 posted on 09/21/2007 10:34:19 AM PDT by r9etb
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To: r9etb

I’m Lutheran, and part swedish. Yes, really. My husband and I walked down the aisle together. I stopped and hugged my parents, the same as he did, but no one “gave me away”. That even sounds wrong to me.


31 posted on 09/21/2007 10:34:57 AM PDT by bigred41
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To: Bushwacker777

A priest named Reverend Yvonne?

Was Woden invoked during the ceremony?


32 posted on 09/21/2007 10:35:50 AM PDT by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: GovernmentShrinker
It’s really a survival of the concept — still prevalent today in Muslim lands — the women are the property of their fathers until their fathers transfer ownership of them to their husbands.

Not really.

In Germanic culture the father had a responsibility to provide for his daughter and protect her and his giving her away to a groom represented his assessment that the groom would provide for her and protect her adequately.

In Muslim lands it is still the common practice to (1) only give the bride away to a family that you have control or leverage over and (2) to obtain the highest price for her possible, (3) the bride-price is paid to the bride's family.

In Germanic law the bride-price was set at a certain number of ounces of silver for all suitors - an amount that represented the suitors ability to feed and shelter a wife and children. The money was not for the bride's family - it was for the bride herself.

In Norway in the 900s the rate was 12 ounces of silver.

If a suitor demonstrated that he met the rate and the bride consented, they were betrothed and that was that - even if another suitor arrived with 120 ounces of silver. Once betrothed, the father could not break the betrothal.

In the Muslim world, it does not matter if a man demonstrates that he can support his intended - he can be outbid by a greedy father-in-law.

The two codes are significantly different and have different moral significance.

33 posted on 09/21/2007 10:37:09 AM PDT by wideawake (Why is it that so many self-proclaimed "Constitutionalists" know so little about the Constitution?)
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To: wideawake
If foreign and sexist traditions are illegal in Sweden, why does Sweden permit the presence of hundreds of thousands of hardline Sunni and Shi'ite Muslims in the country?

The Vikings all left Sweden a long time ago. The dandys left behind are more interested in their behinds than their past.

34 posted on 09/21/2007 10:37:29 AM PDT by LoneRangerMassachusetts (The only good Mullah is a dead Mullah. The only good Mosque is the one that used to be there.)
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To: mngran
I'm glad the priest stood up for what her church believes in.

"Her church" is the state-sponsored Lutheran Church of Sweden.

This ban on giving away the bride is not part of Lutheran doctrine, but a reflection of her own personal prejudices.

She was defending her own bias, not the Augsburg Confession or the Uppsala Synod.

35 posted on 09/21/2007 10:41:41 AM PDT by wideawake (Why is it that so many self-proclaimed "Constitutionalists" know so little about the Constitution?)
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To: bigred41
That even sounds wrong to me.

My father-in-law gave me my wife and I will give my daughters to their husbands.

What wrong did he commit?

What wrong would I be committing?

36 posted on 09/21/2007 10:43:41 AM PDT by wideawake (Why is it that so many self-proclaimed "Constitutionalists" know so little about the Constitution?)
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To: GovernmentShrinker
Since when do we support the idea that churches should be required to violate their principles in order to let a bride, or anyone else, do whatever they want on church property and/or during a church ceremony or service?

We don't, because in the USA the taxpayers do not subsidize any of our churches.

In Sweden, the Church of Sweden is paid for by the taxpayers.

So a taxpayer should have a right in Sweden to request a ceremony that is fully in keeping with the liturgical books that he pays for and which is a standard practice in throughout other congregations in Sweden.

The minister in this case is a public servant, and should accomodate reasonable requests from the public that pays her salary.

37 posted on 09/21/2007 10:49:05 AM PDT by wideawake (Why is it that so many self-proclaimed "Constitutionalists" know so little about the Constitution?)
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To: trimom

Good for your daughter.


38 posted on 09/21/2007 10:57:35 AM PDT by kitkat (I refuse to let the DUers chase me off FR.)
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To: Zechariah_8_13
Swedes consider religion to be an anachronism - just like they consider marriage, or large families, or moms staying home with children.

With that worldview, the Swedes themselves will become not only an anachronism, but extinct.

Then we'll have to re-write the old joke:

"Why are there no Arabs on Star Trek? Because it takes place in the future."

to read:

"Why are there no Swedes on Star Trek?..."

You get the idea.

39 posted on 09/21/2007 11:05:37 AM PDT by Disambiguator (What's the temperature, Albert?)
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To: All

This is a problem that can be traced to, and solved by the members of this priest’s parish. It’s their fault he’s been allowed to become an authority figure in what is, in reality, their parish. Their money, given in collecton, supports it. They need to seize this idiot, remove him from the building and either duct tape him to the sidewalk in front, or wrap him in heat-shrink plastic and deliver him back to the church’s regional headquarters, and demand a new model under the Lemon Law. No congregation should let its priest make such rulings. If the diocese has a problem with this, dry up all funding. Even in religion, money talks. Priests are there for assisting in the salvation of souls, and as a conduit to and from God. Period.


40 posted on 09/21/2007 11:35:48 AM PDT by DPMD
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To: r9etb

Having been the father of the bride, I can confirm how important it was, not only to me but to my little girl and the new man in her life to benefit from the visible act of approval instinct in my giving her away. Had the officiant prohibitted that part of the service, we would have gone elsewhere (of course, had the officiant been a Lutheran priestess, my head would have exploded and I wouldn’t have been able to give my daughter away either).


41 posted on 09/21/2007 12:06:19 PM PDT by Mr. Lucky
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To: Mr. Lucky
(of course, had the officiant been a Lutheran priestess, my head would have exploded and I wouldn’t have been able to give my daughter away either).

I hope you'll excuse my mental picture of Mr. Lucky's daughter dragging his headless corpse down the aisle by his left foot.... ;-)

42 posted on 09/21/2007 12:12:00 PM PDT by r9etb
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To: GovernmentShrinker

Why not? Children are chattel.


43 posted on 09/21/2007 12:19:22 PM PDT by steve8714
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To: wideawake

This is probably an official policy of the ministry which oversees the church.


44 posted on 09/21/2007 12:21:33 PM PDT by steve8714
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To: Zechariah_8_13; stm

Yes, but from what I understand, it is very common in Sweden to live together, have children, yet not be officially married. In other words, monogamy has withstood the deChristianization of Sweden.


45 posted on 09/21/2007 12:23:38 PM PDT by Clemenza (Rudy Giuliani, like Pesto and Seattle, belongs in the scrap heap of '90s Culture)
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To: Bushwacker777

ARRRRRGH!!! If that country weren’t full of hot, sexy blondes, I would urge the muslim residents to take over! A country that PC is ripe for a takeover.


46 posted on 09/21/2007 12:44:21 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Oh, Geesh, not THIS crap AGAIN?!?)
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To: wideawake

another beautiful gesture is at the altar, for the father to quietly take his daughter’s hand and place it the grooms hand.

As if to say, “take this daughter of mine to love and cherish as I have all these years.”


47 posted on 09/21/2007 2:30:58 PM PDT by elpadre
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To: GovernmentShrinker

Maybe the bride should tell the female minister that her father is gay.


48 posted on 09/21/2007 2:35:47 PM PDT by mimaw
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To: stm

15% is enough to keep things going. Actually, I’m surprised it is that high.


49 posted on 09/21/2007 7:05:53 PM PDT by MSF BU
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To: Kozak

Excellent point!


50 posted on 09/21/2007 7:06:59 PM PDT by MSF BU
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