Posted on 09/28/2007 12:43:05 PM PDT by Past Your Eyes
A stranger stood at the gate of Hell
And the Devil himself had answered the bell
He looked him over from head to toe
And said “My friend, I’d like to know
What you have done in the line of sin
To entitle you to come within?”
Then Franklin D. with his usual guile
Stepped forth and flashed his toothy smile.
“When I took over in ’33,
A nation’s faith was mine”, said he
“I promised this and I promised that,
And I calmed them down with a fireside chat.
I spent their money on fishing trips
And I fished from the decks of their battleships.
I gave them jobs on the WPA
Then raised their taxes and took it away.
I raised their wages – then closed their shops,
I killed their pigs and buried their crops.
I double-crossed both young and old
And still the folks my praises told.
I brought back beer and what do you think?
I taxed it so high they couldn’t drink.
I furnished money with good loans
When they missed a payment I took their homes.
When I wanted to punish people, you know,
I put my wife on the radio.
I paid them to let their farms lie still
And imported foodstuffs from Brazil.
And curtailed crops when I felt mean
And shipped in corn from the Argentine.
When they started to worry, stew and fret,
I’d get them to chanting the alphabet.
With the AAA and the NLB
The WPA and the CCC.
With these many units I got their goats
And still I crammed it down their throats
While the taxpayers chewed their fingernails.
When the organizers needed dough
I signed up plants for the CIO.
I ruined their jobs and I ruined their health
And I put the screws on the rich man’s wealth.
And some who couldn’t stand the gaff
Would call me up and how I’d laugh!
When they got too hot on certain things
I’d pack up and head for Warm Springs.
I ruined their country, their homes, and then
Laid the blame on the ‘nine old men’.”
Now Franklin talked both long and loud
And the Devil stood with his head bowed.
At last he said “Let’s make it clear,
You’ll have to move, you can’t stay here.
For once you’ve mingled with this mob
I’ll have to hunt myself a job.”
Is it possible that your friend’s father wrote it?
I wouldn’t rule that out.
Most often it’s attributed to “Anonymous”, but I did find one site that credited “V.M. Rodebaugh, 1938”.
I used AltaVista instead of Google and found a number of possibilities to sort through.
Hitler somehow managed to pull Germany out of depression by 34; Roosevelt appeared to be trying to prolong the depression in America.
I find that even rock-ribbed Republicans “of a certain age” don’t have too much bad to say about FDR - he “got the country moving again” - they have been brainwashed ... while I myself, of a younger generation, think they should dig up FDR’s worthless carcasse and throw it to the dogs a la the story of Jezebel in the Bible.
The poem, “Rejected,” is in The Assault of Laughter: A Treasury of American Political Humor, Edited and with an Introduction by Arthur P. Dudden (New York: Thomas Yoseloff, 1962), 499-500, attributed to “Anonymous.”
Dudden’s version supplies some choice couplets missing in the text above.
“Rejected”
A stranger stood at the Gates of Hell
And the Devil himself had answered the bell
He glanced at him from head to toe,
And said “My friend, I’d like to know
What have you done in the line of sin
To entitle you to come within,”
Then Franklin D. said with his usual guile
As he gave the Devil his winning smile,
“When I took charge in ‘33
A Nation’s faith was mine you see
So I promised this and promised that
And calmed them down with a Fireside chat.
I put padlocks on their banks
And called the Congress a bunch of cranks.
I spent their money on fishing trips
Fishing from decks of their battle-ships.
I gave men money with W.P.A.
Then raised their taxes and took it away.
I killed their pigs and burned their crops,
Would raise their wages then close their shops
And double-crossed both old and young
And still the fools my praises sung.
I brought back beer, then what do you think,
I taxed it so high they couldn’t drink.
I gave them money with government loans,
When they missed a payment I’d take their homes.
When I wanted to punish the folks you know,
I’d put my wife on the radio.
I payed them to let their farms lie still
And imported foodstuffs from Brazil.
I curtailed crops when I felt real mean,
And shipped in corn from ‘Argentine’.
Now when they’d worry, stew or fret
I’d get them chanting the alphabet.
With the A.A.A. and N.R.L.B the W.P.A. and C.C.C.
With all these units I got their goats
And still I crammed it down their throats.
When organizers needed dough
I closed the plants for the C.I.O.
I ruined jobs and I ruined health
And put the screws on the rich man’s wealth
And some who couldn’t stand the gaff
Would call on me and how I’d laugh.
I ruined the country, its homes and then,
Placed the blame on Nine Old Men.”
Now Franklin talked both long and loud.
The Devil stood and his head was bowed.
At last he said, “Let’s make this clear,
You’ll have to look elsewhere, you can’t come here.
For once you mingle with this mob,
I’ll have to hunt myself a job.”
Through a massive arms build up and and funding internal projects like dams and autobans and the like. Roosevelt only had the second alternative available to him.
Maybe because those rock-ribbed Republicans lived through those times and the younger generation didn't? Look at what Roosevelt inherited from Hoover. Fifteen million unemployed. Thousands and thousands of farmers forced off their land. Cities and states bankrupt. Millions on the road. Over 5,000 banks had gone bust during Hoover's term, and almost as many more went down between Roosevelt's election and his inauguration. Widespread hunger. The U.S. Gross National Product in 1929 was $101.4 billion. In 1933 it was $68.3 billion. And most of all the people of this country were beaten. They had watched Hoover do nothing for four years and they were ready for someone who would do something, anything to try and make things better. In retrospect many of FDRs programs were mistakes and one can honestly say that World War II did more to end the depression than Roosevelt did, but to his credit Roosevelt provided leadership where there had been none, and got people believing in themselves again. As Will Rogers said, if Roosevelt had burned down the Capitol people would have brightened and said, "Well, at least he got a fire started somehow." Someone is supposed to have said to Roosevelt that if his policies succeeded then he would go down in history as the best president. But if they failed he would go down in history as the worst. Roosevelt is supposed to have replied that if he failed he would go down in history as the last president. And he's probably right. Roosevelt's lasting legacy may be that he got people trusting in their government again and ensured that democracy would continue.
Hoover did not “do nothing for four years,” as the Democrats have contended ever since (remember the phrase “George Herbert Hoover Bush” from 1992?). Unfortunately, many of the actions he took, such as raising taxes and tariffs and trying to keep wages high in the face of a deflation of the currency only made matters worse.
In contrast to Hoover and FDR, President Warren G. Harding fought the depression of 1919 by cutting taxes and downsizing the federal government. By the time he died in 1923, a recovery was well underway.
Good grief. I suppose people would rather have somebody make them feel good about themselves than actually have to do it themselves by accomplishing something. Hence FDR and Slick Willy. At least with Reagan they had a reason to feel good again.
Thanks a bunch, mike. I’ll pass that on.
Seem like there was a “rogue” line in what I posted. Didn’t go with anything else.
Well, when the economy has gone to hell, and one in four is unemployed, and farmers are losing their land, and banks are failing left and right, and the president doesn't seem to give a damn then sure, I suppose people would rather have someone who actually acted like he cared and that he might be able to accomplish something. FDR, like Kennedy, had charisma. He made people believe again.
And 4 more years of Hoover would have been better?
Wpa, WPA
Don't be a fool working hard, it's passé
You'll stand for five or six hours a day.
Sit down and smoke while you joke; it's OK
WPA.
I'm so tired, I don't know what to do.
Can't get fired,
So I'll take my rest till my work is through.
WPA, WPA.
Don't mind the boss if he's cross when you're gay.
He'll get a pink slip next week, anyway.
Nobody beats this. You loaf every day.
WPA.
Skeets Tolbert & His Orchestra, Decca Records, 1940
I believe that four more years of Hoover would have, indeed, been better. Hoover at least felt bound by the Constitution, so he probably would not have pushed for such boondoggles as the National Recovery Administration (NRA) regulations on business, which strangled the economy until the Supreme Court declared them unconstitutional.
In any case, I doubt that Hoover could have done much worse than FDR. By 1940, seven years into his presidency, the unemployment rate was still in double digits, while the Dow Jones Industrial average was half of what it was just before the stock market crash of 1929.
You are making the mistake of thinking that is possible to spend our way out of depressions. Germany got out of the depression because real wages were held down. Roosevelt, by contrast, kept propping up wages and prices which equalled continued depression.
Read the book “FDR’s Folly” if you really want to know how bad FDR’s administration was, and how his policies actually made a 3 year recession into a 12 year depression. Be sure to thank ole Franklin when you get your first Social Security check and find it won’t even cover one months property tax.
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