Posted on 10/07/2007 5:35:04 PM PDT by crazyshrink
SERIOUS Officials consider the threat to be serious. Is that to distinguish this threat from the threats they laugh about over lunch? Taking something seriously does not mean the risk is great or imminent. It just means officials are doing what anyone would do.
Officials here are taking no chances when it comes to school safety. Sort of. More likely, theyre taking no chances that reporters will broadcast a report accusing them of taking chances.
AN ALARMING PERCENTAGE 15%, 20%, 25% 15% of Americans are at risk of being seriously injured in car accidents on our nations highways this year. Whenever you see a percentage cited, reverse it and think about the other share in the equation. For example, from the story above you can conclude that 85% of Americans are not at risk of being seriously injured in car accidents this year. Sort of good news, all things considered. Also, phrases such a sizeable percentage, or an alarming percentage can be applied to just about any percentage. Get the actual number, and then you decide if its sizeable or alarming to you.
A NEW STUDY REVEALS A NEW REPORT WARNS EXPERTS FEAR EXPERTS WORRY
Yes, reports and experts do seem to warn, fear, and worry a lot.
BUT NEW YORKERS FEEL
Global conclusions drawn from man-on-the-street interviews represent literally nothing. You can edit a story into New Yorkers feel terrified, or New Yorkers are ready to move on and it all depends upon which of the five interviews you cut into the piece broadcast.
(Excerpt) Read more at gavindebecker.com ...
Well, there are many acres of empty newsprint that have to be filled every day.
And now, with the internet, there’s no limit to how much you can publish.
Readers demand a lot for fifty cents, and an infinite amount for nothing at all.
SERIES! HUGH manatee!
Experts say “Insert BS here”
Informed sources say “Insert BS here”
Anonymous source says “Insert BS here”
Noted experts say “Insert BS here”
A general consensus is “Insert BS here”
Get the picture. I should be a reporter.
Half of all Americans have IQs below 100.
Not the same can be said of Democrats.
Ice cream consumption leads to drownings.
Check the stats. Do a month by month comparison of ice cream consumption against drownings. During the months that ice cream consumption are the highest, drownings are also the highest.
For those of you who are reasoning challenged. Ice cream consumption is highest in the summer when ice cream stands are open, hot people want to eat something cool, and more people are in the water at pools, lakes, and oceans. The fact that these months coincide have nothing to do with each other.
The good news is that you have raised awareness of the deadly correlation between ice cream and drowning. But some New Yorkers worry that experts’ fears will not be heard.
Next up, does Mr. Softee kill children?
:)
I just emptied all of the ice cream we had and washed the deadly stuff away with hot water. Thanks. We have kids.
Here are two quotes brought back by one NBC News crew:
I think if you change your life, theyre winning, says Captain Frank Carver. So the more we continue our daily routine, better off we all are.
Anybody remember this stupid mantra? Every time I heard it, I wanted to grab the person who said it and shake them until their brain swelled up enough to fill the inside of their skull. No, the terrorists aren't winning because we have to wait on line and take off our shoes when we get on passenger jets. If that was their goal, they would have taken jobs as security guards and shoe salesmen.
They want to kill us. They flew airplanes into buildings to kill people, not to make congress pass The Patriot Act.
At Pats Country Bakery nearby, Joann Charters concedes shes still apprehensive. Its a really scary feeling with kids in school. You dont know whats gonna happen, says Charters.
In journalism schools, this is known as burying the headline. The headline says something about Ms. Charters' fears post September 11th. Judging by the report, she does not know what is going to happen, and this now bothers her. Was she a psychic on September 10th? Did she just wake up from a coma? I want to know the reason why Joanne Charters suddenly does not know what is going to happen. Or is she stupid, and it just occurred to her that she does not know what is going to happen?
“Women, children, senior citizens, the infirmed, the disadvantaged, disenfranchised, low skilled, part time workers, immigrants, middle eastern, homosexuals, jewish, minority, over leveraged, over mortgaged (chose one, two, several or all of the preceding) to be hardest hit!
Do you need to be so negative?
“Ice cream consumption leads to drownings.”
A more positive thing to say would be; “Drowning deaths are significantly reduced during colder weather.”
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