Posted on 11/16/2007 7:07:41 PM PST by Eric Blair 2084
Pleading "Don't Sue the Hand That Feeds You," the Center for Consumer Freedom offers our 2007 Thanksgiving Guest Liability and Indemnification Form to keep your holiday cook in the clear. To prevent greedy trial lawyers from wrangling your guests into suing you for contributing to the so-called "obesity epidemic," we have prepared this essential liability waiver. Make sure all your Turkey Day guests sign it.
Our Thanksgiving Guest Liability and Indemnification Form comes in carbon-copy triplicate for proper record-keeping come court time. The Agreement prevents your guest from suing you by duly warning him or her that dangerous conditions, risks, and hazards may lurk in the turkey, stuffing, vegetables, cranberry sauce, fixings, drinks, desserts, appetizers, and any or all other comestibles that may be served.
Most importantly, by signing the Agreement your guest agrees "not to appear as a witness in support of John 'Sue The Bastards' Banzhaf, Esq., or any other persons with law degrees who cannot otherwise find meaningful employment, at any time in the future." Click here to download your own Agreement. You'll be thankful you did.
FReepers who are hosting Thanksgiving at their home, this waiver would be a funny thing to get your aunt, uncle, sister, brother, in laws to sign before entering. It's hysterical.
Print it out, you'll be laughing until everyone falls asleep on the couch after football, drinks and a few pounds of turkey.
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We the People Sheeple of the United States Nanny State, in Order to form a more perfect Union Socialist Utopia, establish Justice Socially engineer a country of non smoking, physically fit, tea totallers, insure domestic Tranquility Smoking bans in bars, limits on unhealthy food and social drinking, provide for the common defense Universal Healthcare, promote the general Welfare health of the population whether they like it or not, in order to save above mentioned Universal Healthcare entitlement program from bankruptcy, and secure the Blessings of Liberty Dependency to ourselves progressive liberals and our Posterity Hitler Youth who we brainwash through public school education, do ordain decree and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. Nanny State of Liberals.
What about lamb in a cream sauce served with a bottle of Cold Duck?
'Tain't funny McGee. This diseased psychopath makes John Edwards look like Mother Theresa. If there is a lawyer alive today who is more unethical than John "just paying the mortgage on my mansion" Banzhaf, I'd like to greet the MF'er--in my own special way.
WHEREAS, It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor;
WHEREAS, Both the houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"
Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted' for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.
And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have show kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.
--George Washington - October 3, 1789
LOL. Love the waiver form.
The document is full of loopholes, and fails to disclose all risks. In addition, it fails to contain a binding arbitration clause.
Oh, and Eric, don’t forget all the safety news on how to cook a turkey properly that we will be bombarded with.
It’s in the FINE print. LOL.
Fine as long as they sign the waiver.
Banzhaf is not really a health nazi per se. He just likes to push the envelope of litigation to see how far it will go for public amusement, entertainment value and intellectual stimulus.
In addition to monetary rewards which all good capitalists can appreciate.
Good job. Thanks for find that for me so I didn’t have to do a google search.
Rush was talking about that yesterday. The real origin and meaning of Thanksgiving as opposed to the watered down lib version that I was taught in public schools.
Excellent but a Christmas version is needed as well.
You can probably use the same form. Just cross out Thanksgiving and write Christmas.
Oh, I think Eric has a Christmas version of the form in the works now.
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