[Alex Murphy]

horses in the Book of Mormon were really tapirs

Tapir-Back Riders
Tune: "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles

Dear Sir or Madam will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Joe
And the main idea is the Lamanites were
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

See, the Nephites came to the promised land
And those dang exmos just don't understand
That when they said "horse" they meant something else
But it all makes sense if you know that they were
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

I know the whole thing doesn't hold up well
If you take it literally, but what the *heck*
There’s this group of guys that work at FARMS
And they can save the whole thing by postulating
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

They say the book is really history
If so where's the proof? Ah, a mystery
External evidence is perpetually due
Apparently the best that they can do is
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

What the folks at FARMS don’t seem to understand
Is we want the truth, not sleight of hand
The Church asks for all, but gives nothing back
The best they have to offer is a team of hacks with
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

[colorcountry]

Too funny!!

Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head. I’ll probably sing it to my Mormon Mother-in-law...Oopsie!

[xzins]

Rotflol!!

But it all makes sense if you know that they were
Tapir-back riders
Tapir-back riders

[tantiboh]

That’s very clever, Alex.

Oh, by the way, I don’t know where this tapir-horse thing came up, but there were horses in ancient America. It seems they were hunted to extinction at some point, though the fossil evidence is not conclusive as to exactly when:

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2001/05/0511_ancienthorses.html
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn9091-humans-back-in-frame-for-ancient-horse-extinction.html