Posted on 02/09/2008 3:30:24 PM PST by CGASMIA68
RED-NECK VALENTINE'S LOVE POEM
Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.
You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's trou bles and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable, but everyone else's are horrendous.
Where did you find this?
It is cute but also funny...
Roses R red
Violets R not
Yur hair glistens
Like fresh picked snot.
Luv ya, deer. Jed Bob
E-mail from a NC/S Fla bud
Oh ok, well thank you for sharing it...
Jess right.
If your mother keeps a spit cup at the ironing board, you might be a redneck.
Or the Steve Dallas one from “Bloom County”
In my dreams
You’re all I sees
Boobs, butt and knees
Be my main squeeze.
they should’ve added lines like....
“Ah luv my shotgun to shoot em hippies
That rebel yell when I hang em libbies
Yo sweet face as beeyotifool as mah moonshine bottle
When ah drive mah truck on Obama’s face full throttle”
I..fer won...are offended
LOL so true..LOL
wernt that be good
Lurleene is so pissed she done took my Everclear.
She don’t like being called a redneck...she prefers cracker.
To my wife, my life my turtle dove.
I love you more and more it seems.
I love you more than pork and beans.
I shoorley am imprest. And, wish I wuz as edookated as the feller whut rote this. All the wurds whut rime an such... Lawdy, I dint no thay wuz that many rimin wurds in the hole Nglesh langwage.
Ma gurl fren tol me that her folks inventted toothpaste whilst they livd in wes virginny
Theyd a calld it tEEthpaste ifitd been anywhere elst
I dated a latin girl for a spell, but I had to leter go.
She cud never remember my name.
When we’d make love she would call out Jess! Jess!
Some loves live forever
While others peter out
Our love will live forever
Peter NN or peter out.
She offered her honor
He honored her offer
All night long he was Honor and Offer
I thought you meant like, "Et tu, Brute" Latin.
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