Skip to comments.This Valentine's Day: Punch a Hippie (Belated)
Posted on 02/19/2008 12:07:26 PM PST by mnehring
One day when I was but a young boy, I was walking down the street with my dad to the hardware store. He suddenly stopped, crossed the street and punched a man. When he returned, I ask, "Father, why did you punch that man?"
He turned to me and said, "That's a stupid question." Then he punched me. "After punching a hippie, do you take the time to explain to those around you why you punched the hippie?"
It was a stupid question, because who my dad punched was a hippie. Back then, everyone knew that you punched hippies, but I've noticed that this knowledge may not be being passed on to the next generation. If there's one thing I've realized over the past few years is that hippies are not being punched quite enough, and I think the recent incident with Berkeley and the Marines shows the problem of not enough hippie punching. If hippies aren't punched on a consistent basis, they get cocky and will try all sorts of crazy thing. I mean, really, hippies insulting Marines and not expecting a punching? That's a major breakdown in our societal structure.
So what has led to this dearth in hippie punching? Breakdown in family structure? Loss of prayer in school? Increasing childhood obesity? Prevalence of non-violent videogames? Whatever the reason, I think we need to spend more time telling the next generation the importance of striking hippies in the face with a fist. No functional society has survived hippies running around unpunched, and America will be similarly doomed if we don't change our ways.
You may say, "Well I punch hippies; I'm doing my part." But after punching a hippie, do you take the time to explain to those around you why you punched the hippie? This may seem like a lot to do for someone who has a job and personal responsibilities -- which you have since you're not a hippie -- but if even just one man hears your words of inspiration and then punches some filthy hippie, wasn't it time well spent?
We have a war right now. Our military is overseas killing terrorists -- the violent form of the hippie -- so they can't be here punching hippies for us. We have to do that ourselves. To keep this a country safe for soldiers to kill evil foreigners without hearing whiny protests, we have to make it unsafe for hippies.
Well said Punches Hippes.
Quick question: Other than the title, what does punching hippies have to do with Valentines Day? Can’t we punch hippies all year long?
Best post ever. I hate hippies and punched a bunch back in the 70’s. Now as a rich conservative I have to keep punching to a minimum.
See, this is what I was trying to tell you people last summer but all you could talk about was Gucci loafers, golf carts, and “fire in the belly”.
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I might have to start linking to Frank J’s “In My World” posts. They’re even funnier.
I’d like to amend this story to insert ‘Congressional DemoCreep’ in place of each instance of ‘Hippie’ ;o)
All those hippies are now in congress and have made hippie-punching a hate crime.
Wouldn’t it be better to punch a Code Pinkie? Most hippies I’ve ever seen are just inconsequential bums. How about punching a RAT? Alan Colmes, Bob Beckel, Keith Olberman, Ellis Hennican, who could resist?
What do you think neohippies are?
I was thinking of Forest Gump when I read this, he gave a hippie a pretty good wallop.
If it were not a prosecutable crime I’d love to punch Keith Olbermann all day, and all of the night.
Note, I do not advocate violence of any sort. But man, I’d sure love to punch Keith Olbermann all day, and all of the night.
A call to arms if I ever heard one!
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