I do two things-— work in nutrition and teach dance.
Most of my clients and students are female.
I’m a female. Yes, I do have a bias. In my job, I hear their sides of the story (unfair but dems da breaks) I see them struggle, I see their self-esteem in the toilet, I see them struggle more, and many I see just give the hell up and quit trying....
(And this isn’t just weight, it’s eating D/O, diabetes etc)
The ones who do best are those with really good family support, either from spouses, children etc... Those that fail usually have either someone sabotaging them or simply no one who cares.
Now, for the dance, as in a post earlier...the women who show up because their husbands ask them to show up for belly dance? Almost always fail....and the reason is they are there to make someone who doesn’t care for them love them (usually). To a woman, their self-esteem is in the pits and it breaks my heart.
The ones who succeed, dance beautifully and make their hubbies proud are the ones who came for themselves and dance for themselves (and me). Right down to the navel piercings and picking out the coolest costumes....there is a big difference in the groups.
"Now, for the dance, as in a post earlier...the women who show up because their husbands ask them to show up for belly dance? Almost always fail....and the reason is they are there to make someone who doesn’t care for them love them (usually). To a woman, their self-esteem is in the pits and it breaks my heart."
I think your analysis is incorrect....completely. First, if a man doesn't care about his wife he won't bother to encourage her to dance. Trust me on this. He would just ignore her and leave.
Those whose husbands ask them to attend probably see that their wife is in a rut or is one of those non motivated types that would rather just sit and watch TV... so they may be trying to get them out and active again. You see them fail, because they are the type that would fail regardless of a man even being in the picture. They have issues. They may simply just be couch potato types or clinically depressed (which may not have ANYTHING to do with the man).
My best friend is married to a woman like that. He is the nicest guy in the world and he wants his wife happy. All she does is sit on her butt every day and play computer games or watch TV. She does nothing. He has asked her to go to dance classes and such.. not as a method to force her to meet his needs... but to snap her out of her homebound ways. And she fails... everytime. Not because of him, but because is a non motivated person who really needs some help.... but of course she refuses that as well.
Sorry honey, but you got this one all wrong. Almost every woman in there whose husband has asked them to attend... is trying to save them.