Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead

FOXNews.com Home>Health ^ | 03/19/2008 | FoxNews.com

[VOA]

The clinic in Hochfranken, Bavaria, has since suspended the surgical team.

Knowing how socialized medicine works...
the "traumatized" surgical team and their families have probably
been sent off to some beach location like Miami in order to rest and
recuperate from this sad trauma (that they perpetrated on this poor woman).

[VOA]

It made me think that it's that time of year to do some core aeration
to my lawn. Poke some new holes to spur new growth and a healthy turf.

LOL! I've got a simple aerator device called "The Hound Dog".
I decided it was named thusly because after aerating a small section
of lawn...it looks like a hound dog has been taking care of his bidness
for a couple of months!

[roamer_1]

[Picture of lips] Dude... I hate to tell you this... but if you think that is an anus, I'd hate to watch you eat cereal in the morning...

[metesky]

She remarried?

[Texas Songwriter]

It is not funny. IT is life-altering. I think maybe folks are trying to ease the tension a little because they do not feel comfortable with the report. But for those afflicted it is very, very serious buisness.

[Palmetto]

This poor woman is a particularly vivid example of our worst nightmare. Fear of this keeps men abiding laws. It also keeps us a healthy distance away from any pointy, narrow-diameter pole that is either less than 3 feet in height or fixed precariously underneath where we are standing. It compels us to punch the daylights out of the dude winking at you in the bar.

If one is successful over your lifetime in keeping this vigil, a special treat awaits you in afterlife as you lay on the autopsy table and hear those same glorious words that Anna Nicole Smith was allowed to hear:

“The anus is unremarkable.”

[OldEagle]

"Generally we do not give the anal sphinctor the respect it deserves."

I don't care where you're from, that is a winner!

[DaveMSmith]

I have had 7 surgeries on my *left* leg, (a bone disease), last was a TKR. I’d read before about hospitals mixing up patients.

On this last surgery I was seeing one of the very best orthos in the country, very well known, in Philly. His staff told me they got a real kick out of his face when he uncovered my *right* leg and read in large black magic marker, “Don’t even THINK about this one!!!”
They said he laughed thru most of the surgery. ;)

I’ve had a few other surgeries and have always used the marker for them. Most of the orthos got upset, no sense of humor. Screw that, I didn’t want a mistake done, the hell with their ego!!

Mare (using hub’s acct, not his opinions)

[CholeraJoe]

I had eye surgery in December and January. They did one eye at a time. Each time I showed up for surgery with an American Flag sticker right below the eye that was to be operated on. The pre-op nurses loved it.

[Texas Songwriter]

I was hoping someone would take appropriate note of that statement. And it is true.

[Texas Songwriter]

I once had a patient who had a recurrent chronic anal fissure. All you need to know is that this condition is very, very painful. In fact it is so painful that we have a special name for this pain....tenesmus. The treatment is to excise the fissure. I examined her and she was painfully shy. So much so, that I felt uneasy in examining her. She was crying and carrying on...it was bad. So I forwarned the OR nurses to be sure to respect her modesty and keep her covered until she is asleep and just prior to prep.

So the anesthesiologist got her to sleep and the nurse put her up in lithotomy position and there on there butt cheeks she had pasted 2 smiley faces. We all got a big chuckle out of it.

[dfwddr]

Thank you for pointing that out. It jarred my memory of 6 weeks ago. My youngest daughter was in a bed car accident, and, among other things, broke her L2. After many surgeries, it was time to deal with that break. The doctors came in about 1 hour before surgery,, took a sharpie, made some funny marks on her back, then signed his name to it. He then made two marks on her forehead. Confused the heck out of me at that time, and lost the thought in the blur of days without sleep, but you have just given me an answer to a question somewhere in the back of my mind.

I thank God every day he has given the staff at Vanderbilt the talent in their hands to take care of people.

At least they know a back from an anus !!!!!! :)

[dfwddr]

I can vouch for that. See #192.

Thanks for your posts to this thread, although for me, most was TMI !! :)

[3D-JOY]

OK...Now my keyboard is covered in tea!

Biggest out-loud laugh in a long time!

THANKS

[wastedyears]

What did you have done to your eyes?

[MeekOneGOP]

“This thread is USELESS without pictures!!”

Here she is!

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/-/c/ted_kennedy_hooters.jpg

:^D

[CholeraJoe]

Cataract surgery. They replaced the lenses with bionic ones that focus near, intermediate, and distant. Now, I have the same vision I did when I was 20.

[Hot Tabasco]

what did they do with the old one.

Sent it to Washington to join all the others......

[Hot Tabasco]

I just peed myself laughing so hard on this one. What do i get?

Wet pants?

[Hot Tabasco]

Forgive my naiveness, but how do you get a new anus? Isn’t it just skin? Did she get a new sphincter too? Or is sphincter the same as a rectum is the same as anus?

So many questions........