Posted on 04/18/2008 10:33:56 AM PDT by Caleb1411
Our bridge problems never end.
The Lowry Avenue bridge may close permanently, since it apparently has the structural integrity of cotton candy in a hot shower. It'll cost $100 mil to replace.
Or we could just get cars over the Mississippi via large slingshots, or a trebuchet.
The Bryant Avenue footbridge over the Minnehaha Creek was closed this week due to "possible future problems relating to gravity," to paraphrase the official findings.
I went to the creek to examine the bridge's condition, and I'll say this: If there's one word I don't want used to describe the steel in a pedestrian bridge poised high over a gorge, it's "translucent."
In recent sci-fi movies like "I Am Legend," the Authorities seal off contaminated cities by shooting missiles at the bridges; from the sound of things here, they could just isolate Minneapolis by shouting "TIMBER!" and tossing a few cement blocks on the decks.
No, it's not that bad. But it is reassuring to have a bridge-failure story that's not due to rotten metal or excess stress, and that was the case in Stillwater. The lift bridge got stuck on Wednesday. It went up and it did not come down. They tried talking it down -- we understand, it's hard, having to touch Wisconsin all day and get Cheetos dust all over your girders, but we can help!
Didn't work.
The problem: computer malfunction. You might be thinking that they had installed Windows Vista on the computers, but if that was the case the bridge would have come down, albeit very slowly. No, it was just a computer glitch, and if you've tried to fix inexplicable code blurts on your PC, you can only imagine the conversation around the monitors that morning:
"Uh, boss? It says I performed an illegal action and
(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...
There could be a nice 6 lane bridge replacing the Stillwater bridge by now but environmentalists have blocked it every step of the way. They hate people.
Looks like the (Red)Star is giving James a little more latitude these days.
Not a bad idea.
That is excellent news!
They've probably discovered that his (and Katherine Kersten's) readership outpaces all of their other columnists combined.
But what "Authorities" could we get to declare Minneapolis a contaminated city?
“Alright, well, did you get a lot of Viagra e-mails today? Because that would explain why it won’t — oh, fine, I’ll call tech support.”
That is hillarious.
Close the Lowry Avenue bridge? Good deal, property values should rise on the NE Minneapolis side of the bridge as the crime rate falls again just like it did last time they closed the bridge.
I don’t even live there, but this thread made me laugh.
Thanks so much for the Lileks ping!
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