Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

Reuters ^ | April 22, 2008 | Joe Bavier

[Doctor Raoul]

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

If you don't pay, they threaten to make you vote Democrat too.

[Doctor Raoul]

It's a band...Stealing Penises.

They can only play one chord at a time?

One Hit Wonders?

[Doctor Raoul]

Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises...

I always wondered what kind of a job could all those feminists get with a degree in "Women's Studies". Now I know.

[Ultra Sonic 007]

Hmm. A lucrative business for human horn...?

[A.P.M.]

It’s twoo, it’s twoo!

[Deo volente]

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

And we thought we had problems with the housing market! Now I don't feel so bad.

[Bender2]

Re: Hmm. A lucrative business for human horn...?

Okay, last year... I posted:

Re: The burst was so bright that at the time it was first recorded it was dismissed as man-made radio interference. It put out a huge amount of power (10exp33 Joules), equivalent to a large (2000MW) power station running for two billion billion years.

“The burst may have been produced by an exotic event such as the collision of two neutron stars or be the last gasp of a black hole as it evaporates completely,” Professor Lorimer said.

The burst lasted just five milliseconds.

Oh, that! I remember it well... I make very special love to my darling Inubda with the help of that fabulous aphrodisiac, Human Horn.

Ahrump! Yes, the Human Horn... made Lrrr's love making last twice as long, to a full five milliseconds!

Anything for love... my pet!

Go ahead and laugh it up... but it will not be so funny when those Human Horn Hunters land here from Omicron Persei 8.

Did anybody pay attention? Nooooooooooo.... and now they are here!

[Slings and Arrows]

I’m amazed that it took 38 posts for that pciture to show up.

[Zeppo]

There’s a song in here somewhere. Sadly, it’s probably in Urdu or something.

There's actually a classic song along those lines (in English) by the alternative rock band "King Missile", named "Detachable Penis"...

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detachable_Penis and http://www.mp3lyrics.org/k/king-missile/detachable-penis/.

It's not X-rated, rather it's actually kinda creative...

[TigersEye]

ping

Not that you need any more ideas. ;^P

[pandoraou812]

Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hmmm maybe we can get these sorcerers over to the FLDS compounds?

[ProtectOurFreedom]

My first thought, too. Interesting juxtaposition of penis and snatch.

[FredZarguna]

Suggesting an inverse relationship between IQ and the happiness coefficient of Enzite Bob's wife.

Jack Paar used to claim the same relationship between brain and boob size.

[TigersEye]

That’s an idea. I was afraid you might want to use this at home. ;^)

[Slings and Arrows]

The video’s on YouTube.

[politicalwit]

purported penis pillage...possible? Perhaps..

[ApplegateRanch]

Start by getting the victims’ email addresses, and then altruistically foreward the next offer of uneeded “growth pills” you recieve to them.

Might be necessary to take on a kindly, helpful Nigerian partner, though that should be avoided if at all possible.

Globalism can solve this: Congolese sorcererhexes victim; Chinese pills -> Canadian “pharmacy” + Russian Internet banker + Bulgarian spammer -> American forewarder -> victim = cured Congolese victim!

Think of it as recycling, to celebrate Earth Day.

[ApplegateRanch]

Now THERE's the new phrase of the year!

And a movie for the new year: Attack Of The Penis Snatchers From Venus

[tanuki]

Lock your doors! Guard your wo...-oh, wait. They’re not looking for them (GULP!).

[landerwy]

I thought they were talking about our past republican congress until I realized they weren’t talking about gonads too!