Posted on 08/31/2008 10:11:40 PM PDT by goldstategop
bvmp
Sarah Palin is so tough that she ate Chuck Norris alive and spat him out because the texture reminded her of baby food.
Methinks the South Side is one of the highest murder areas in the US...complete with 100% Liberal Democratic policies.
Dr. Keyes is the anti Obama..
I certainly thought it was over the top. All glitz and very little substance. The next day I saw the film Idocracy on cable TV, and the resemblance to the “house of representin” and the “monday night rehabilitation” scenes were striking.
Sarah Palin knows what the Ultimate Question is but concluded that the answer is really 37.
Sarah Palin admitted global warming really is manmade. She apologized...she wanted to make chili for the new baby.
Sarah Palin complained she broke a nail...because she’d rather use her pinky instead of a hammer.
Once she learned she required a c-section, she volunteered to do the procedure herself...with her teeth.
Same as DC...
from www.hillaryclintonforum.net
Did you know that...
Sarah Palin does not have 5 kids, she actually has 7. Their names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, Trig, Chuck Norris, and Jack Bauer.
The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin’s eyes.
The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.
The Arctic Circle runs through Alaska so the Sun can have some relief from Sarah Palin’s bright glare.
Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.
Sarah Palin is so pro-life that she personally hog-tied two reps from Planned Parenthood who came knocking at her door.
It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.
Sarah Palin is the “other” whom Yoda spoke about.
Sarah Palin’s presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.
Sarah Palin fired Jack Bauer because he was too soft in dealing with terrorists.
Sarah Palin’s pageant career ended early so other women could have a chance.
Sarah Palin’s son Track is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.
Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone. (X-Men reference)
Sarah Palin actually has Big Foot in her freezer.
Sarah Palin gave a speech in Texas after her water broke before flying home to Alaska to give birth. (Actually true)
Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.
Sarah Palin once spilled coffee on Joe Biden & one of his $400 ties from Pink.
Sarah Palin keeps her hair in a beehive to hide her ninja weaponry.
Sarah Palin will personally open a homemade can of whoopa** on Ahmadinejad, Putin, and Chavez as soon as she’s done making mooseburgers for her kids.
A grizzly bear once tried to stare down Sarah Palin. Once.
Sarah Palin will send Joe Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.
Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.
Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines. (Terminator reference)
Three of Sarah Palin’s 5 kids came out sideways and she never flinched.
Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does. Generally with her bare hands.
Sarah Palin was the original “Deadliest Catch.”
Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for Kodiak pelts with a slingshot.
Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even in 1959 that Sarah Palin never finishes last.
Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.
Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.
Sarah Palin killed and ate the Grizzly Man.
Sarah Palin killed and ate Frank Murkowski.
Sarah Palin once won the Iditarod without any dogs. She simply willed the sled to victory.
Sarah Palin wears half the makeup that John Edwards wears and still looks like twice the woman he does.
Sarah Palin once guided Santa’s sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.
Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.
Any other Sarah Palin rumors that other people want to start?
Stay strong and free,
EagleWatch
Chuck Norris doesn’t cling to his guns and religion to feel safe. Guns and religion cling to Chuck Norris.
Those are fun, aren’t they???
I did indeed read that story and was blown away by it.
Obama is nothing but a shadow on a cave wall.
When a political convention turns into a Super Bowl half time show...
Chuck nails it.
Tenn, who stayed awake in Philo 101
Go find the archived senatorial debates from 2004 and you will see how badly Alan trounced his sorry a**. If it had been a prize fight they woulda stopped it. But the MSM in Illinois was too busy covering for their boy Obama to let you know about the scorecard.
Sarah Palin doesn’t really run 5 miles everyday. She jogs in place and the Earth moves under her feet.
Smoke and mirrors, in other words.
Chuck Norris uses suicide bombers to light his cigars!
They keep talking like there was only one African-American running for president this year.
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