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Undocumented Boomers Headed To Mexico!
Post Chronicle ^ | Jan. 3, 2009 | Satire By John W. Lillpop

Posted on 01/04/2009 9:27:20 AM PST by AuntB

An Open Letter To Mexican President Felipe Calderon

Dear President Calderon:

As you are no doubt aware, America the Great is quickly becoming America the Gray. The so-called "boomer" generation, comprised of approximately 40 million Americans, will soon reach retirement age.

As they age, America's boomers yearn for a less frantic pace---and a lifestyle that allows one to pause and smell the roses now and again.

In other words, boomers are looking for the "Good Life" which is supposed to accrue to those who work 45 years, pay ungodly amounts in taxes, raise a family, put children through college, and baby-sit the grandchildren.

Unfortunately, the United States is no longer as hospitable as it once was to graying citizens, especially now that our economy has collapsed.

As a result, we boomers have decided to move to your beloved Mexico.

Knowing that the Mexican government is a strong proponent of open borders and liberal immigration policies, as least as regards migrations from Mexico to America, boomers anticipate that their needs and wishes will be fully accommodated with minimal interference and bureaucratic hassle.

In plain English, boomers expect to be treated like upscale Mexican citizens, with all the perks and advantages attendant thereto.

Incidentally, we prefer to be called "undocumented boomers."

President Calderon, I am delighted to announce that 40 million undocumented American boomers are headed to Mexico!

Viva America!

Current plans call for about 500,000 boomers to cross the border into Mexico each month.

As with any complex transition, there are several "ground rules" that must be followed in order to make this change seamless.

Accordingly, your attention is directed to the following action items:

* Mexican sovereignty, borders, and immigration laws are essentially null and void with respect to undocumented boomers. No attempt should be made to enforce said restrictions on good hearted, formerly hard working Americans.

* Undocumented boomers shall receive unlimited education, food, housing, legal assistance, and geriatric care on demand, the cost of which shall be borne solely by Mexican taxpayers.

* Mexican hospitals, medical clinics, and emergency rooms shall be obligated to meet the medical needs of all undocumented boomers, without regard to ability to pay.

This obligation shall not be limited or restricted in any way because of any real or projected negative impact on Mexico's medical systems, including the loss of vital services to Mexican citizens.

* Although undocumented boomers shall not be obligated to pay for medical services received, they shall be entitled to send $30-50 billion a year back to the United States with impunity. The Mexican government shall actively facilitate the transfer of such funds to America.

* English is the only language used by undocumented boomers; boomers have no desire or obligation to learn Spanish .

* America's historic free speech, free love, and anti-war revolutions originated with activists in the boomer generation.

In keeping with the boomer tradition of aggressive activism, from time to time it may be necessary for millions of boomers to take over the streets of Mexico's large cities in order to protest proposed new laws when the "rights" of undocumented boomers are in jeopardy.


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Mexico; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: aliens; babyboomers; immigrantlist; immigration; mexico
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1 posted on 01/04/2009 9:27:20 AM PST by AuntB
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To: AuntB

Great satire, I just wish it wasn’t based on a true story.


2 posted on 01/04/2009 9:32:48 AM PST by SaintDismas
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To: SaintDismas

they’ve bled us dry now it is time...


3 posted on 01/04/2009 9:35:07 AM PST by television is just wrong
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To: AuntB

Boomers going to Mexico?

They can have ‘em.

Lazy hippies.

Of course, when the going gets tough, the boomers go some where else.


4 posted on 01/04/2009 9:35:37 AM PST by truemiester ((If the U.S. should fail, a veil of darkness will come over the Earth for a thousand years))
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To: SaintDismas; gubamyster; B4Ranch; Liz; Clintonfatigued; SwinneySwitch; Tennessee Nana

“Great satire, I just wish it wasn’t based on a true story.”

Indeed!


5 posted on 01/04/2009 9:35:47 AM PST by AuntB (The right to vote in America: Blacks 1870; Women 1920; Native Americans 1925)
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To: truemiester

“Of course, when the going gets tough, the boomers go some where else.”

Not all of us, sweetie.


6 posted on 01/04/2009 9:36:44 AM PST by AuntB (The right to vote in America: Blacks 1870; Women 1920; Native Americans 1925)
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To: AuntB

It’s only fair.

All your Mexico is belongs to us!


7 posted on 01/04/2009 9:39:09 AM PST by Lorianne
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To: AuntB

May John McCain led them over the borders


8 posted on 01/04/2009 9:39:34 AM PST by Popman (Dont worry Barney Frank has your ass-ets covered!!!)
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To: truemiester
Boomers going to Mexico? They can have ‘em. Lazy hippies.

Getting popcorn, this should be good. Lazy? The boomers? They are probably the most overachieving, productive generation in the history of the planet.

9 posted on 01/04/2009 9:42:54 AM PST by McLynnan
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To: AuntB

Remember band leader Doc Severinsen from Johnny Carson Tonight show? Doc lives in Mexico now. He tours in USA, we saw him recently in concert in Texas. He performed with his band Ritma de la Vida.

Also, a friend of mine lived in Mexico, on a temporary job relocation when her kids were babies. She loved it. She could easily afford a nanny, a cook, a gardener, a driver, etc. She has none of that here in Texas.


10 posted on 01/04/2009 9:43:58 AM PST by buffyt (Who is John Galt and I really think Atlas WILL SHRUG very soon.)
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To: AuntB
In plain English, boomers expect to be treated like upscale Mexican citizens, with all the perks and advantages attendant thereto.

Does this include getting kidnapped or extortion and harrassment from the Policia? Trust me, this kid ain't retiring to Mexico.

11 posted on 01/04/2009 9:44:14 AM PST by umgud (I'm really happy I wasn't aborted)
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To: buffyt

Anyone living or even vacationing in Mexico is out of their minds. Over 50 Americans kidnapped down there last year.

Here ya go...this is Mexico....warning VERY GRAPHIC.

http://picasaweb.google.com/retbordercop/RESTRICTEDLEPHOTOSGraphic?authkey=RrHZn4DnF1g&feat=email#

THE WAR NEXT DOOR

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2151549/posts

[snips]“How do you begin to understand that so many people are dying in Mexico? More than 5,000 casualties because of “narcotrafficking.” That’s more than all of the American troops that have died fighting an actual war in Iraq.”

One grisly new tactic is beheadings. A headless corpse hung above a busy highway almost two hours before police covered it with a sheet - the head found in a nearby park.

In Tijuana, nine men were decapitated last month, three of them policemen, their badges stuck in their mouths - some of the 40 murders in Tijuana occurred in just one weekend.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/12/16/eveningnews/main4672172.shtml


12 posted on 01/04/2009 9:47:32 AM PST by AuntB (The right to vote in America: Blacks 1870; Women 1920; Native Americans 1925)
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To: umgud

See post 12


13 posted on 01/04/2009 9:48:12 AM PST by AuntB (The right to vote in America: Blacks 1870; Women 1920; Native Americans 1925)
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To: AuntB

Satire often mimics reality...
http://www.viviun.com/Real_Estate/Mexico/Lots-Land/
I know several folks making this very move.


14 posted on 01/04/2009 9:52:15 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life ;o)
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To: AuntB

Make that Costa Rica, and I’m in.


15 posted on 01/04/2009 9:54:15 AM PST by FrankR (“Turtle up”, economically, for the duration of the 0bamanation.)
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To: Liberty Valance

“Satire often mimics reality...
http://www.viviun.com/Real_Estate/Mexico/Lots-Land/
I know several folks making this very move.”

See post 12.....the citizens of Mexico will be coming here because of the violence.


16 posted on 01/04/2009 9:54:17 AM PST by AuntB (The right to vote in America: Blacks 1870; Women 1920; Native Americans 1925)
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To: AuntB
Indeed we are.. except for the "undocumented" part....

Me Casa, Lapaz, BCS, Mexico

17 posted on 01/04/2009 9:55:49 AM PST by xcamel (The urge to save humanity is always a false front for the urge to rule it. - H. L. Mencken)
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To: xcamel

Well, isn’t that special? What’s wrong with the USA....Mexicans still prefer it?


18 posted on 01/04/2009 9:56:55 AM PST by AuntB (The right to vote in America: Blacks 1870; Women 1920; Native Americans 1925)
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To: AuntB

I hear Guatemala is great right now.
It’s a democracy. You own property outright and can leave it to family in a will.
The have the RKBA. If you get dual citizenship you can even carry concealed.

You can build on a nice mountain for $35 a square foot


19 posted on 01/04/2009 9:58:16 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: AuntB
I agree Mexico is poison. Some friends of ours retired there, the husband was badly bitten by a dog. When he got to the doctors office for treatment, he was told he would have to bring his own supplies. That means. disinfectant, and bandages, don't know about shots for rabies.

There have been numerous tangles with the government concerning a traffic accident. they don't tell me their difficulties anymore, I guess for fear of hearing “I told you so”. I never said that, but they know I was worried about them moving there.

20 posted on 01/04/2009 10:02:44 AM PST by Ditter
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