Obama Plan Has Already Boosted IRS Tax Collections (Satire)

Scrappleface ^ | 01/31/09 | Scott Ott for Scrappleface

[tellw]

(2009-01-31) — In office less than two weeks, President Barack Obama has already increased tax receipts at the U.S. Treasury with an innovative plan to get tax-dodgers to pay up, in full, immediately.

“The president’s plan is simple but ingenious,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, “He targets wealthy individuals who filed inaccurate tax forms, cheating the government out of tens of thousands of dollars. Then he just nominates them for cabinet positions. They suddenly see the error of their ways, and they cut checks for the full amount owed, plus interest.”

In the month of January alone, Mr. Obama has forced Timothy Geithner, former president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, to cough up $43,000 he owed the IRS, and former Sen. Tom Daschle to pay off his $128,000 tax obligation. Mr. Geithner will put his tax-paying experience to good use, overseeing the IRS as Secretary of the Treasury. Mr. Daschle hopes his recently-good behavior will garner Senate confirmation as the next Secretary of the Health and Human Services.

“With the IRS underfunded as it is,” said Mr. Gibbs, “this collection method is much more efficient than dispatching field agents. Arresting these men, or compelling them to pay penalties would take years, and make them feel bad about themselves. The president’s method not only gets more money to the government to help our economy, but provides a self-esteem boost by giving these wealthy men important-sounding titles.”

The Obama administration will reportedly expand the program by creating hundreds, perhaps thousands, of additional cabinet posts, available to any rich person willing to “fess up and settle up” with the IRS.

[ItsForTheChildren]

LOL... Ott’s a genius.

[kittymyrib]

Next, the IRS ought to go after Bernie Madoff’s investors who used his money laundering “sub-rosa fund” to avoid paying taxes. That ought to add a few more million to the bottom of the treasury barrel...but of course, they won’t do it for fear of having someone tar them with the “anti-semitic” label that kept the FBI at bay through all the years of Madoff’s con game.

[Cicero]

Is Scrappleface ever not funny? I keep thinking that this is the best one yet, and then he comes up with another one.

[going hot]

Madoff ought to be hired by the administration to oversee wall street. After all, he knows how the (con) game is played, so he can spot the con more easily.

As a bonus, think of all the money he would pony up to come clean.

[engrpat]

I had a leftest waco friend tell me that with 0bambi in office the rich will start paying taxes. I asked him if that meant that the democrats in congress would start paying their taxes? No response. Still haven't heard back on the Dashchle tax problems.