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Top Ten Reasons Gitmo Should Be on Alcatraz
Townhall.com ^ | February 3, 2009 | Chuck Norris

Posted on 02/03/2009 8:10:33 AM PST by Kaslin

When I heard about the possibility that the terrorist detention camp at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base (Gitmo) will move to Alcatraz Island in the middle of the San Francisco Bay, I got excited. Ideas from economic stimuli to renewed patriotism started flooding my mind.

Here are the top 10 reasons I believe Gitmo should be moved to Alcatraz:

10. D-Block. Not the hip-hop group, but the row of solitary confinement cells at Alcatraz. Need I say more? (Of course, "Gitmo and the Golden Gates" might make a hit rap song, too.)

9. It is rumored that "Dirty Harry" (Clint Eastwood's notoriously tough San Francisco cop character) still roams the streets with his .44 Magnum. Would terrorists really try to escape if he were across the bay? Do they feel that lucky? Well, do they?

8. It would give Congress something better on which to spend those hundreds of billions of dollars in bailout money than the absolute waste of more Wall Street bonuses and partisan pork.

7. My buddy the Governator needs a bailout, and the new "Hasta la Vista, Alcatraz" tour could be a gigantic boost for California tourism.

6. It's about time for a sequel to "Escape From Alcatraz," called "Bet Your A-- That You Better Stay on 'The Rock.'"

5. Tony Bennett wants to produce his new smash single, "I Left My Terrorist in San Francisco."

4. The only text in the prison library and school would be my latest book, "Black Belt Patriotism -- How to Reawaken America," with daily memory tests to see whether the detainees can recite the appendices containing the Declaration of Independence, our Constitution and the Ten Commandments.

3. Because House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., was a big advocate for Gitmo's closing and seeing as her district includes Alcatraz Island, let her deal with its aftermath. Pelosi even could help guard the captives with binoculars from her San Francisco high-rise.

2. Recently commuted border agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Alonso Compean need new jobs and are willing to train and head up Alcatraz's new team of correctional officers.

1. I'm volunteering to be the new warden, and I pledge to make "The Rock" a Chucktatorship.

Are you with me?

All joking aside, remember when America was known as being tough and compassionate? Will we now polarize from waterboarding to being pantywaists?

Do most really believe it makes sense to shut down Gitmo for world adulation, while we possibly put Americans at greater risk by relocating these jihadists within our borders?

Is Time magazine serious when it suggests six possible domestic military facilities, from New York City to San Diego, as the new home for these enemies of the state?

Was Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., serious when he told Fox News last week that he'd offer his own district as a future dwelling place for the 245 Gitmo terrorist detainees? He said: "Sure, I'd take them. They're no more dangerous in my district than in Guantanamo. … There's no reason not to put them in prisons in the United States and handle them the way they would handle any other prisoners."

Do Americans really want terrorists -- such as Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the mastermind of 9/11 -- on our soil?!

In Robert Spencer's excellent new book, "Stealth Jihad," he documents well how radical Islam is subverting America via intentional and pervasive subtleties throughout our culture. Rather than crashing into our buildings with planes, they're breaking down every stratum of society using our tolerance and passivity. Rather than overpowering America through combat, they are influencing Americans of all ages by saturating the soils of our minds that there is nothing to fear from extreme Islam's theology or presence. We've shifted from protecting Americans to defending the terrorists. Our universally accommodative spirit literally is opening the doors for those who seek to destroy us, and Gitmo is just more proof of that.

While we worry about the way the rest of the world sees us, we are stomping upon the souls of Americans. Have we forgotten so quickly? Can our politicians not see? Have we lost our 9/11 minds? Gitmo's closing and future relocation reflects upon the families and friends of those precious souls who sacrificed everything on the battlefields of the Middle East, in the Twin Towers, on Flight 93 and at the Pentagon. We've memorialized their sacrifices; let's not bury their memory.


TOPICS: Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Government; US: California
KEYWORDS: alcatraz; chuchnorris; detainees; gitmo

1 posted on 02/03/2009 8:10:34 AM PST by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

LOL! Someone suggested this to Pelosi and she went totally mental. It was hilarious. She starts screaming “it is a park!” She went crazy. I wish I could find the video.

Corrupt old bag. NIMBY.


2 posted on 02/03/2009 8:13:21 AM PST by Frantzie (Boycott GE - they own NBC, MSNBC, CNBC and Universal. Boycott Disney - they own ABC)
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To: Kaslin

All the supposed ghosts there might terrify the prisoners as well, a plus.

The place is creepy even without ghosts, enough to make you lose your mind.


3 posted on 02/03/2009 8:15:19 AM PST by rwfromkansas ("Carve your name on hearts, not marble." - C.H. Spurgeon)
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To: Kaslin
Dear Chuck,

May I humbly suggest that we reassign the detainees terrorists to Bikini Atoll? If they get rambunctious, we could always resume testing ...

-A. Bustard

4 posted on 02/03/2009 8:15:50 AM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: Frantzie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p1t9vi_mc8


5 posted on 02/03/2009 8:17:41 AM PST by maggief
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To: rwfromkansas

I live here, and I’ve never visited Alcatraz — just passing by it on a boat creeps me the heck out (especially at night). But man, oh man, do the tourists line up for tour.


6 posted on 02/03/2009 8:18:30 AM PST by Right Cal Gal (Abraham Lincoln would have let Berkeley leave the Union without a fight)
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To: Kaslin

Let’s leave the terrorists at Gitmo and put Murtha and Pelosi in Alcatraz.


7 posted on 02/03/2009 8:19:35 AM PST by fleagle ( An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. -Winston Churchill)
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To: Kaslin
3. Because House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., was a big advocate for Gitmo's closing and seeing as her district includes Alcatraz Island, let her deal with its aftermath. Pelosi even could help guard the captives with binoculars from her San Francisco high-rise.

This is the best reason. Those hippies want it closed, let them deal with the unintended consequences.

8 posted on 02/03/2009 8:22:09 AM PST by mnehring
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To: rwfromkansas

“The Park” is a reminder of how we used to treat hardened criminals.


9 posted on 02/03/2009 8:27:01 AM PST by RobbyS (ECCE homo)
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To: Kaslin
I don't agree with Chuck Norris.I think that Alcatraz Island is to Close to Civilization and these terrorist are animals they are not civilized in any sense.The should be placed on Wake Island,the former World War II battlefield in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

I would love to see them escape from there.The sharks would get them first.

10 posted on 02/03/2009 8:27:47 AM PST by puppypusher (The world is going to the dogs.)
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To: Frantzie

Well, wouldn’t the fact that Alcatraz is a park demonstrate precisely how humane we are housing these esteemed guests there instead of some drabby old prison?

And think of the possibilities....paid tours available to the public so that we can pay our respects to the vermin. I think this may be more stimulative than anything in the pork bill.


11 posted on 02/03/2009 8:34:28 AM PST by TommyTrojan
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To: maggief

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p1t9vi_mc8

Everyone should view this YouTube clip you linked. Here is Nancy Pelosi calling Obama “brilliant” for the decision to close Gitmo, while at the same time acknowledging that nobody has the slightest idea what to do with the inmates. The decision is “brilliant” because it “gives us the opportunity to review [why the people are there are there]”.

Nancy? Nancy? Does the concept “crazed, murderous s**thead captured in the heat of battle and mistakenly spared from a bullet in the head” mean anything to you?

So here we have it: from the very top of the Dem leadership to the street level folks who expect their mortgages and car payments to be paid: Obama is “brilliant” for having these ideas without the faintest idea how they will be implemented nor how they will work.

Let’s just hope they don’t implement some “stupid” ideas if this is the standard for “brilliance”.

We are sooooooooo screwed.


12 posted on 02/03/2009 8:40:31 AM PST by Attention Surplus Disorder (Mr. Bernanke, have you started working on your book about the second GREATER depression?")
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To: TommyTrojan

I would be p*ssed if I were a detainee. It gets cold in SF!!

LOL


13 posted on 02/03/2009 8:40:50 AM PST by cups
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To: ArrogantBustard

there ya go!


14 posted on 02/03/2009 8:42:20 AM PST by silverleaf (Fasten your seat belts- it's going to be a BUMPY ride.)
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To: Kaslin
The Number One reason the Gitmo detainees should NOT be housed on Alcatraz;
The 14th Amendment to The Constitution of The United States:

....No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws...

They would automatically be afforded protection under our laws and court system. Unacceptable.

15 posted on 02/03/2009 8:44:19 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (All the oil's in Texas...but all the dipsticks are in Washington, DC.)
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To: cups

Put ‘em in ANWR.


16 posted on 02/03/2009 8:45:52 AM PST by fishtank (RINOs: Stuck inside of the GOP like spackle or paste. (We need a cleansing.))
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To: Kaslin

I want the citizens of San Francisco to get what they demand, put these “abused” prisoners on the mainland at the Presidio. If there is not enough room, Golden Gate Park or the Castro district are also perfect locations.


17 posted on 02/03/2009 8:47:56 AM PST by Cyman
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To: fishtank
Put ‘em in ANWR.

Naked.

18 posted on 02/03/2009 8:49:55 AM PST by N. Theknow (Kennedys: Can't fly, can't ski, can't drive, can't skipper a boat. But they know what's best.)
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To: Kaslin

Symbolically it would be cool, but practically it would be bad. Alcatraz was in pretty bad shape when they closed it, that’s one of the reasons, it would need massive repairs, and they’d be expensive. Then there’s the problem of where it is, any bad guys that escaped from The Rock would be surrounded by sympathizers, SF is enemy territory.


19 posted on 02/03/2009 8:51:28 AM PST by razorboy
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To: Right Cal Gal

lol. Go visit in May when all the flowers are blooming and before it gets hot. It is a beautiful place, you really are missing out. The history is quite interesting, before it was a prison, it was a military fort and the officers wives planted many beautiful gardens.


20 posted on 02/03/2009 8:52:41 AM PST by 1000 silverlings (Everything that deceives also enchants: Plato)
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To: Kaslin

America has lots of deep, abandoned hard rock shaft mines that would make superb maximum security prisons. And no worries about overcrowding, just mine more cells. One prisoner in each.

If you dig deep enough, the temperature should be a constant 80F.


21 posted on 02/03/2009 8:54:33 AM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy
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To: fishtank

Put’em to work drilling for oil!

Hahahahaha


22 posted on 02/03/2009 8:57:04 AM PST by cups
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To: Kaslin

My wife and I spent part of our honeymoon touring Alcatraz in 1989. It’s beautiful this time of year! I think it would be a nice surprise for the “detainees”!


23 posted on 02/03/2009 8:57:51 AM PST by albie
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts

Yes, but we all know that the U.S. Constitution is just a speed bump in many politician’s eyes. Notice I said many but not all.


24 posted on 02/03/2009 9:00:43 AM PST by LuxMaker (The Constitution is a mere thing of wax in the hands of the judiciary, Thomas J 1819)
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To: fishtank

I vote for the rim of Mt Redoubt in Alaska.


25 posted on 02/03/2009 9:13:51 AM PST by RockyMtnMan
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To: Cyman
I want the citizens of San Francisco to get what they demand, put these “abused” prisoners on the mainland at the Presidio. If there is not enough room, Golden Gate Park or the Castro district are also perfect locations.

Not Golden Gate Park--it's one of my favorite places in the city, and it contains a beautiful Japanese garden. How about putting them up in a boarding house in SOMA?

26 posted on 02/03/2009 9:15:47 AM PST by Fiji Hill
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To: Right Cal Gal

I visited Alcatraz in 1978, when the movie “Escape From Alcatraz” was being shot. Seeing actors dressed in prison uniforms added a sense of realism.

I was especially impressed by Cell #14, the “strip cell,” into which the worst troublemakers were locked after having to strip naked. When the door is closed, the cell is totally devoid of light. The use of this cell would probably be considered a form of “tortue” by today’s standards.


27 posted on 02/03/2009 9:35:19 AM PST by Fiji Hill
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To: TommyTrojan

“pay our respects to the vermin” LOL! Great line.

Looks like Obama is seriously pissing off the Joint Chiefs of Staff on Gitmo.

My guess is the top brass do not want to send our brave boys and girls (not being disrespectful but they are so young) on BS “bug hunts” (line from Bill Paxton in Aliens) to catch this murderous vermin only to have Obama’s pals in CAIR, ACLU, ACORN release the murdering rats.

Alcatraz was no party. It was cold as anything and damp as well.


28 posted on 02/03/2009 9:40:13 AM PST by Frantzie (Boycott GE - they own NBC, MSNBC, CNBC and Universal. Boycott Disney - they own ABC)
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To: rwfromkansas

Really? Been to San Fran a few times and never took the tour. Tell us more about ghosts and creepiness. Did you take the tour? Very cold too. It must had demorlaized the inmates because they could see San Fran - freedom so close but so far. Bitter cold water with impossible currents and probably plenty of sharks.

Beautiful place (San Fran) but horrible freak people. God geographically made a beautiful place and Satan filled it with creeps like Pelosi. ;-)


29 posted on 02/03/2009 9:45:49 AM PST by Frantzie (Boycott GE - they own NBC, MSNBC, CNBC and Universal. Boycott Disney - they own ABC)
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To: RobbyS

No we just elect criminals to the Senate and the tax cheats get gigs in the faux Messiah’s Admin. :-(

It would almost be funny.....


30 posted on 02/03/2009 9:48:07 AM PST by Frantzie (Boycott GE - they own NBC, MSNBC, CNBC and Universal. Boycott Disney - they own ABC)
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To: Kaslin

Put them on an old ship and send it to sea. Don’t our subs need practice?


31 posted on 02/03/2009 9:52:01 AM PST by RC2
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To: Frantzie

Ought to put wind generators all over the San Francisco bay area.
Then just sit back and watch pelousy and Kennedy go bananas.


32 posted on 02/03/2009 10:06:51 AM PST by Joe Boucher (An enemy of Islam)
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To: Kaslin

Why even bother putting them in THE ROCK just let them bunk with Nancy...they could braid each others beards and tell super stories about how they all pulled big ones on American...can someone say sleep over!!


33 posted on 02/03/2009 10:10:54 AM PST by Mercedes718 (IF A LIBERAL ASKS YOU FOR CHANGE SAY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY...)
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To: razorboy
Then there’s the problem of where it is, any bad guys that escaped from The Rock would be surrounded by sympathizers, SF is enemy territory. Not sympathizers but sharks.
34 posted on 02/03/2009 10:17:14 AM PST by Newfy
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To: yefragetuwrabrumuy

I’m all for putting them inside Yucca Mountain, in their prison overalls...let them move barrels around by hand.


35 posted on 02/03/2009 10:19:19 AM PST by astounded (The democrat party is a clear and present danger to America)
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To: Frantzie

I haven’t been there, but I know somebody who was and said it was really creepy. Just saw some tv shows otherwise, but it supposedly is pretty haunted.


36 posted on 02/03/2009 10:29:04 AM PST by rwfromkansas ("Carve your name on hearts, not marble." - C.H. Spurgeon)
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To: Frantzie

I would think that anyone could see what a joke Pelosi is, but apparently the whole Democratic Caucus is willing to indulge her in her fantasies. Steny Hoyer I understand. But she is as off the wall as Barney Frank. So it is not just in the Senate. The Democratic voters are sending us absolute loons.


37 posted on 02/03/2009 11:06:50 AM PST by RobbyS (ECCE homo)
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To: Newfy

The Gays would poison the sharks.


38 posted on 02/03/2009 11:07:50 AM PST by RobbyS (ECCE homo)
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To: Kaslin

It’s probably against some international law. I mean, the chains, the public whippings, the degradation...and that’s just the Folsom Street Fair...


39 posted on 02/03/2009 11:17:47 AM PST by Billthedrill
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To: Kaslin
We actually have a more remote prison with fewer escapes than Alcatraz. It is absolutely the dreariest most depressing stone age prison there is:

McNeil Island

AQ would sing like birds and eat Spam out of a can to get out of there.

WA state uses it to house sex offenders, perfect.

40 posted on 02/03/2009 11:32:02 AM PST by gandalftb (An appeaser feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last......)
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To: Frantzie

Not only could the prisoners see San Francisco, they could hear it on a calm night. Imagine being in a cell on New Year’s eve listening to the celebrations and parties!


41 posted on 02/03/2009 2:29:37 PM PST by pelicandriver
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To: pelicandriver

Yeah I think the Feds knew it would jack the inmates minds when they built in.

If there are really ghosts there then they should send the Gitmo scum there.


42 posted on 02/03/2009 2:37:27 PM PST by Frantzie (Boycott GE - they own NBC, MSNBC, CNBC and Universal. Boycott Disney - they own ABC)
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