Posted on 03/20/2009 7:59:40 PM PDT by GodGunsGuts
I'll deny being an agitator, but I think it was Marlowe
; )
N3
Marlowe: The Lady of the Lake,her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, prophesied from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Marlowe, was to make the announcement “Who said you couldn’t be funny?” That is why I am LPFOKETT GAHCOEEP-w/o*..... and you’re not!
Another take on the parable of the talents.
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.
The first bull says, “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don’t know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain’t’ givin’ him any of mine.”
The second bull says, “That pretty much says it for me, too. I’ve been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we’ve agreed are mine. I’ll fight ‘im till I run him off or kill ‘im, but I’M KEEPIN’ ALL MY COWS.”
The third bull says, “I’ve only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to “take care of”. I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows.”
They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.
The first bull says, “Ahem...You know, it’s actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend.”
The second bull says, “I’ll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”
They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm.
The first bull says, “Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”
The third bull says, “Heck, he can have ALL my cows. I’m just making sure he knows I’M a bull!”
LOLOL!
You have to have a sense of humor around here to take on the UFO apologist/nut-jobs.
An Amish farmer went out early one morning to prepare his mule for a day of plowing. The mule was being particularly stubborn that morning, and kicked the farmer when he tried put its harness on.
Out of desperation, the Amish farmer said to the mule, “I cannot smite thee and I cannot curse thee, but I can surely sell thee to a Presbyterian.”
ping to #746
LOLOL!
Wow, 75 threads in a month all in news and from non-news sources. That’s quite an effort.
Not that I’ve never put something in news that could/should have gone in chat or Religion...its gets more attention that way... but 75 is a lot.
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