Posted on 05/13/2009 5:59:30 AM PDT by shortstop
When you put Democrats in charge, stupid things happen.
Remember those words. Every few days you will see something on the news to remind you that they are true.
Like Cheerios.
The new Democrat-controlled Food and Drug Administration has decided that Cheerios are a drug and are under its control.
That’s one of the dominant themes of Change You Can Believe In. Control. The government takes control, you lose control. The government gets more powerful, you get less free.
Now it extends to breakfast cereal.
Having taken over General Motors, now the Democrats want to take over General Mills. At least it seems that way.
I guess you can blame it on the oats. Cheerios are made of oats. Whole-grain oats, including the soluble fiber that makes them so healthy.
See, oats contain a substance that seems to suck cholesterol out of the blood. Doctors think that’s good for you because cholesterol is bad for you – at least excess cholesterol is.
And people are worried about cholesterol. Most people over 40 know their cholesterol levels and wish they were lower. There are drugs, expensive drugs, that you can take to lower your cholesterol.
And there are oats.
Eating oats can be better for lowering your cholesterol than taking drugs.
That’s good news.
And Cheerios has put that news on the front of its box. Specifically, Cheerios claims that by eating it for a month, you can lower your cholesterol by as much as 10 percent.
And that’s not a con.
Study after study bears it out.
So Cheerios are a good thing. So are oatmeal and some other oat products.
But this is about Democrats. And while oats will clean you out, Democrats will clog you up.
Thus the letter.
The Democrat-controlled Food and Drug Administration has written General Mills saying that Cheerios behave like a drug. If taking them for a certain amount of time will lead to a specific therapeutic outcome – lower cholesterol – then that makes them a drug.
And the FDA controls drugs.
And so the FDA wants to control Cheerios.
Specifically, the Obama FDA wants General Mills – evil “Big Food” in Democratspeak – to submit an application to approve Cheerios as a drug, and an application to review and approve Cheerios’ advertising.
Cheeri-freaking-os.
Invented in 1941, sold around the world since, mostly made in Buffalo, New York, the world’s first and still most-popular cold, oat breakfast cereal is in trouble with the Obama Democrats.
And they want to see its papers.
They want to check it out. They want to approve its advertising.
Plain-old Cheerios.
It’s come to this. The preposterous and autocratic arrogance of the Democrat Saviors is bubbling over in ever more ridiculous directions.
They’ve decided that a nearly 70-year-old breakfast cereal, made from the simplest and most wholesome ingredients, is something that neither General Mills nor the American people can be trusted with.
So I’m going to start eating it.
My cholesterol’s fine, but my blood pressure’s up. I’ve got a bad case of Democrat-induced hypertension.
And my breakfast cereal is going to be a protest against the morons who think it is a drug. I’m writing a prescription for my cereal bowl.
Mark my words: When you put Democrats in charge, stupid things happen.
This is serious. We will have to hold senate hearings for all those Little League shortstops who have been using this drug.
They better not mess with Captain Crunch or it will be nothing but PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES
"Cheerios may cause premenstrual bloating, cramps, and irritability in women around that time of the month. They can cause diarrhea, stomachache, nausea, vomiting, and uncontrollable telekinesis. If hunger persists for more than 4 hours, see a doctor. May cause impotence and pink-eye. Mikey may like them and take them from you."
Will Cheerios be covered by health insurance and cost 300 dollars a box now?
Remember, these are the same people who claim that carbon dioxide is a pollutant.
Cream of Tartar works better; in a study by Consumer Reports (1987) of over 25 different types of cerals being fed to rats, only Cheerios and laboratory rat food kept the rats alive and flourishing.
I'm crushing them up ad doing Cheerio lines! WhooooooHoooo!
F n A !!
O
Better check the box you see at Home Depot, etc. to see if it’s the real thing or a substitute.
I assume you are speaking of real rats, not the democRAT kind. Did they have cholesterol problems?
short / concise...& so very true.
There’s goes my lunch. Guess I’ll have to go back for more bacon.
No one will pay $100 a box for Cheerios.
If the President gets his way, you can kiss oat food products goodbye.
We’ve put a cereal killer in the White House!
ping
I get bulk oat meal ($.49 a lb) and bulk oat bran ($.59 a lb) at Winco and eat it for lunch at work. Restaurant lunches cost around $10 and a meal of this stuff is roughly 15 cents.
And I feel a lot better and a much more productive in the afternoon.
The TSP is preventing you from absorbing DHMO through the walls of your colon. You should eat Cheerios every day to stop absorption of the deadly DHMO.
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