Appearances can be deceiving. You want to know what a bitter person looks like? Talk to a divorced man. While women will only consider what I said to be ‘bitter’ and all, men will view it very differently and wonder how I became so smart.
Women have absolutely no idea what it is to be a man. They think they do, which makes the ignorance worse.
Do you know why men are spending fortunes on cars or whatever in order to impress women? It is because THEY ARE CONDITIONED TO. Does Pavlov ring a bell? Throughout a man’s life, he is being subtly conditioned to work for women, to believe women are ‘expensive’, and that happiness can only come through a ‘woman’.
There is a reason why there is a coordinated attack on men who live happily without women such as monks and priests. There is considerable literature, from Aristotle to Shakespeare to all the poets and philosophers regarding man’s happiness regarding women.
Look at what the Book of Proverbs and Saint Paul says about men regarding women.
Men are conditioned to think all happiness comes from women, that semi-nude women are draped on everything from selling cars to toilet paper.
Men are also conditioned to think that manly pursuits, such as learning knowledge, is considered ‘nerdy’ or ‘dorky’. Is James Madison a dork? What about Isaac Newton? No, it is only ‘dorky’ because it does not benefit women in some way.
You cannot blame men for doing things they have been programmed to do. I cannot blame young men for wanting to die for their country because they have been programmed to do so. I try to step in and bring some light to young men when they are acting like fools doing everything they can to ‘get’ a woman. It is not hormones that are controlling them but a type of programming that has been going on their entire lives, a type of expectation.
An example would be the high school prom which is nothing but ‘practice’ for marriage.
As for the often accusation of ‘bitterness’ when a man says anything that might be considered of negative light to women, I want you to consider this:
At any work place, find the married man and find the bachelor. You will find the married man constantly tired, sitting at his desk as if there is an immense weight on his shoulders. You will find the bachelor, however, with a spring in his step and often a couple of babes around him.
How sad that you make all men sounds stupid. It’s not true of course, but it’s sad that you apparently believe what you’re posting.
Well, studies say the opposite—net net—that married men are more content.
This is a huge conversation and I am sure I have as many ‘women burned by men’ stories ( ie, he left her and the kids for her best friend, younger arm candy etc) as you do on the other side.
Bottom line is we’re screwed up as a culture and being played like violins by voracious power brokers in politics and media. Just read HG Wells. We are fast becoming the mind-numbed, sensation-driven Eloi.
I do take exception to your proposition that men are socially ‘programmed’ to seek the company of a special woman in their lives, unless you want to say programmed at the subatomic level—I’ll buy that of course, all about propagation of the species and ensuring the well being of healthy offspring to perpetuate the genepool.
In the process however, the sweet miracle is that lots of lucky men and women transcend the cheap stuff—deepen the connex and learn/accept that they are two complementary halves of a sustainable system—not identical—complementary is the operative word.
Equal in ‘value’ not in ‘attribute’. Each other’s best friend in the hard fought battle of bringing up a family, building the fabric of society. They learn to stop competing, start complementing...it’s not easy but when traditional constructs ‘hold’, people are a lot less likely to just ‘bag it’ when things get difficult.
Traditional constructs are all under attack now in the illusion of ‘tolerance’.
And as traditional values unravel and the genders get more vicious toward one another, we become putty in the hands of those who wish to manipulate us. Of course culture influencer Oprah’s twisted words inform us: Women leaving men for women, she says. I think it’s BS but do know the power her ‘opinion ordinance’ carries for the female sheeple...and many will ‘do it’ as she ‘envisions it’, even if they never ‘felt it’. Good God.
However it must be said that some hedonistic males have had a hand in promoting and consuming ‘girl on girl’ action to the point of mainstreaming it, with confused teenage girls acting against their sexual encoding to please voyueristic boyfriends. It is incredibly wrong and sad all around.
Aristotle, though brilliant, is one of history’s great misogynists of course and Paul is also a creature of his time and was harsh in his opinion of what were actually pitifully non-empowered females of his day. Their one trump card, their beauty/sexual desirability—what else did they have to play? It faded soon enough as they aged. Females passing beyond childbearing years were not much use to anyone, their collected wisdom not revered as with males—except for a few famous examples.
You see there’s a tough rap on both sides. It’s hellaciously hard being a human. That’s why we are part of a complementary system and why we need God. You cannot deny you are intrinsic to the stream.
Lastly I’m the mother of two teenage sons—no daughters— that i adore more than life itself.
I’m keenly aware of the strange conflict and vagaries that rain down on them. I’m so sad they can’t live in a more values defined world, we talk about everything. I know they experience the ‘mean girls’. Their hearts have been broken. I’ve been outraged when I’ve seen their sweet sentiments crushed and ridiculed. But those girls have been programmed too. I try and advise my boys to recognize the type and not give them the time of day.
It’s no one-way street though.
A friend’s 17 year old daughter just committed suicide after several boys had sex with her and merchandized it —in pictures and words—all over her high school. ( But didn’t the movies tell her this is way cool?....isn’t hateful online porn the du jour guidebook for today’s teens?)
But look-—we can trade shots back and forth ad nauseum. There ARE good women AND good men out here. Our best shot is to work together, I’m a lover of good men, but no fool when it comes to bad men..i just don’t throw them all in the same barrel.
Please don’t be drawn into the sex wars....it is a loser, you can end up on a desolate plateau, forever lost.
Don’t give up on the “system” God designed.
The blame goes on both sides. For the men, it means we have to stop acting like cads just because we can. It also means being very, very, careful about who you date and marry. And yes, it means taking responsibility for your actions.
But the women are also part of the problem. AB mentions that guys are “conditioned” to buy fancy things to impress women. COD, I hate to tell you that is the truth. I worked in college at a soriety as a waiter. The girls got used to me, and after a while would talk about things without thinking “There is a guy listening”. Many of them would not date a boy unless he had certain material possessions. Be it nice clothes, car, stereo, whatever. See they have also be programmed to look for the guy who will give them the most stuff.
Funny thing is, we as a society are totally broken in this area. Men and women chase what the TV tells them they want, and then find out they aren't happy.
For God’s sake, Aquabird, why dont you just go join the f’ing Taliban/Al Qaida ??? After that ran, no decent conservative American woman would want you. All I see in your words is “its da wimmin’s fault!” as if the only GOOD woman is one who calls YOU perfect. Sorry. You f’ing ain’t. Ever. Why arent you perfect? Cause youre HUMAN. Stop trying to put yourself on the same level as God and you might actually FEEL better...
I agree with some of what you say but that attitude does no one, including yourself, any good.
Nothing worse than a wimpy man, imo.
Our society, and our govt., usually sides with the female/mother now. I saw it happen to my oldest brother during his divorce and custody battle. Unfortunately, he gave up and became bitter. Fortunately, years later, his sons finally saw the light and they now have a relationship with their Dad. One was going through the same thing with his divorce and custody, and fought back. And won.