Posted on 05/29/2009 6:35:48 AM PDT by meandog
(Grin!) I’m enjoying this debate too, FRiend! I’m in Waitakere City, New Zealand — just west of Auckland, up in the Jungle in the hills, where Xena Warrior Princess was filmed.
> Psychologically, being respectful requires that the person acknowledge that they are not the center of the universe.
On occasion I have done bouncing for one of my mates who owns a pub. It’s a respectable establishment with not too much trouble and a good clientele. It attracts mostly rugby players and ex-rugby players and their fans. Big guys, clean-cut. However, sometimes somebody inevitably ends up having a fair snootful and gets obnoxious enough to require ejection from the establishment.
Naturally, when that happens, it’s the Bouncer’s job — which is where I come in.
Here is where being Respectful — having developed that as a lifeskill — really comes into its own. Even a mean drunk is deserving of Respect, if for no other reason than he is capable of hitting me in the face and spoiling my Hollywood good-looks for me. (I’ve been told I’ve got the perfect Face for Radio!). And these are big guys, so I don’t want to get hit and wake up sometime next week or the week after, minus my teeth.
So far I have been able to show every drunk out the door without having to hit anybody, or put them into a joint-lock, or do anything to them to make them leave. I’ve never even had to raise my voice. Not even when several of them needed to be ejected.
And so far, only one drunk has tried to hit me: I blocked that and politely asked him to never do that again. He left, unharmed and under his own steam.
The key was being Respectful. It didn’t mean that they weren’t being ejected from the pub — they were, in no uncertain terms. And too bad if they hadn’t finished their drinks: they were forfeit.
Respect has saved me many a black eye, many a broken nose, many a sound beating. On the street when I’m Patrolling, or in a pub when I’m bouncing. It’s a great lifeskill to have.
You may want to think about the fact that, as a bouncer, treating drunks with more than a modicum of respect is a tell-tale sign of overwhelming confidence - which is terrifying to those who gauge their worth using their brawn as measure.
(I’m an engineer with a minor in psychology - can you tell?!? ;-P)
Quiet, encompassing self-confidence is more intimidating than outright intimidation, in most cases.
If you are a Douglas Adams fan, think about using Marvin the depressed (and unarmed) robot as a counter to the warbot-6000 (or whatever the name of it was). The fact that Marvin stood up to a dangerous foe without an edge in weaponry (or even parity) forced the warbot into a serious mistake that caused it to lose the battle.
Psychologically, quiet self-confidence (which is the way your displays of respect undoubtedly portray themselves in the feisty patrons’ minds) is a potent weapon.
But, as a hunter you knew that, right!!! ;-P
So, do all the women in your environs look like Lucy Lawless? (smirk)
> So, do all the women in your environs look like Lucy Lawless? (smirk)
(GRIN!) To be fair, a hugely disproportionate number of Kiwi women are drop-dead gorgeous. Lucy Lawless — while undoubtedly a member of that category — is by no means unique here.
I don’t know why that is, but it is so.
That’s not to say that the majority of them are like Lucy — the majority of women here are on the pretty side of plain — but far many more Kiwi women are drop-dead gorgeous than you’d expect in a population of only 4 million.
> Quiet, encompassing self-confidence is more intimidating than outright intimidation, in most cases.
Hmmm... I hadn’t actually thought about it that way before. And now I’ve got a mind to dig out my copy of “Hitchhiker’s Guide” and remind myself of the Marvin the Depressed Robot vs the Warbot 6000 incident — it could prove instructional, too!
Cheers, mate!
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