Obama to transfer Uighurs to GM (Satire)

ExurbanLeague.com ^ | June 12, 2009 | Jon

[inkling]

 

President Obama has named Hajiakbar Abdul Ghupur as GM's new CEO.
 Although Ghupur had never seen a car, his rich experience as a yak herder
and Al Qaeda middle manager made him the obvious choice.

After several high-profile policy changes, President Obama announced an unconventional solution to relocate Guantanamo Bay's 17 Uighur detainees.

"Effectively immediately, these individuals will be transferred to General Motors," Obama declared in a written statement. "There the Uighurs will be able to put their lives back together while they help this proud company regain its footing."

The Uighurs (pronounced “wee-gers”) are Chinese Muslims caught fleeing Tora Bora alongside several Al Qaeda and Taliban fighters. They have been held at the controversial facility ever since, despite the lack of formal charges.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) heralded Obama's "outside-the-box" solution. "This decision is another important step toward removing the national shame of Gitmo and rebuilding our industrial economy," Reid said.

The leader remarked that the president "killed two birds with one stone" and noted that stoning is the Uighurs "favorite" method of executing homosexuals, literate women and infidels. "it's nice for an administration to be so culturally sensitive," Reid added.

[Brookhaven]

How about “Obama turning Gitmo into newest GM plant”?

This would allow him to: 1. say he closed Gitmo, 2. keep the dtainees off US soil, 3. add to his organized labor support.

[RasterMaster]

Just heard on my local AM radio station, apparently the Brits are pretty ticked that Hitlery didn’t consult them before dropping off terrorists in their territory.

[colorado tanker]

At the same time the Obama administration announced GM's newest model, the ultimate green vehicle, the Gitmo. It comes fully equipped with a windshield, no power options, and bicycle pedals.

[SERKIT]

Robert Byrd paraphrased: “There are white Uighurs. I’ve seen a lot of white Uighurs in my time. I’m going to use that word.”