Posted on 09/09/2009 4:35:04 PM PDT by buccaneer81
Jellyfish tossing helps land Madeira Beach man in jail
By Brant James, Times Staff Writer Posted: Sep 08, 2009 02:27 PM
MADEIRA BEACH — A 41-year-old man who witnesses said had been drinking since 9 a.m. was arrested Monday afternoon after authorities say he created a disturbance by pretending to drown and throw jellyfish on teenagers.
Keith Edward Marriott, of 100 154th Ave. in Madeira Beach, faces charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon after a pocketknife was found in his shorts, Pinellas County sheriff's deputies said. Marriott repeatedly submerged himself and floated to the surface, "causing concern for his safety," and was "loud and disruptive," according to a sheriff's report.
Then he started throwing sea creatures.
Marriott, who is listed on arrest reports as working for a brokerage company, was being held at Pinellas County Jail in lieu of $250 bail.
Full Name: Jellyfish
Occupation: Making jelly.
About: Jellyfish roam around in groups making jelly and stinging anything that gets in thier way. There are several kinds of jellyfish including normal, queen, king, albino, and prehistoric. Jellyfishing is a sport enjoyed by undersea creatures including SpongeBob and Patrick.
Quote: "Buzz... Buzz... Buzz..."
“Then he started throwing sea creatures.”
-
That’s where he crossed the rubicon.
He threw sea creatures across the Rubicon ?
Kinda like George Washinton?
Ping
Please pass the jellyfish.
LOL
Marriott repeatedly submerged himself and floated to the surface, “causing concern for his safety,”
Wouldn’t they have been more concerned if he hadn’t floated
to the surface?
I’m guessing by pocketknife they don’t mean a swiss army knife or Leatherman tool.
Never bring a pocket knife to a jellyfish fight!
faces charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon after a pocketknife was found in his shorts, Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies said.”
*****
Since when does a pocketknife qualify as a concealed weapon?
You mean like this?
Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started toitch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for 2 days because my butthole was swollen shut. So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
I guess only when you’re throwing jellyfish IMHO.
Every journalist should know that sea creatures
are not to be ‘thrown’ they are to be ‘flung’.
I’m not sure exactly what “tossing jellyfish” is, but I’ll bet that Barney Frank is an expert at it.
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