Water—a renewable resource!
All public water resources have been destroyed due to water vapor being a greenhouse gas and due to the release of dangerous dihydrogen monoxide molecules.
EPA has ruled that capture of rainfall for the purpose of drinking, washing, or watering will be illegal. All water must be turned in to the government. Swimming is now illegal.
All urine must be turned in as well.
Water will be put on the list of pollutants. All water is now government property and will be stored in giant caverns to be dug with stimulus money.
The Great Lakes will be drained into the caverns as well and public housing will be built in the basins.
All farming and ownership of animals is henceforth illegal.
Muslims, for religious purposes, are exempt from all rulings. The same applies to the President, his family and friends, and all members of Congress past and present. Union members, all African-Americans, and gay/lesbians are also exempt. This does not apply to the military.
Those with multiple exemptions may sell these exemptions.
Citizens are asked to turn in anyone who appears to have water or who is doing anything fishy.
Are you bucking for the Water Czar job?
;o)