Christmas always reminds me of the time I discovered there was no Santa Claus. I woke up around 1 a.m., and wandered from my bed into the living room where I found my dad in his pajamas laying out presents under the tree. He told me to go back to bed, and I did - but I was crushed to see the illusion destroyed.
So much so, it still bugs me - and it happened ages ago. Well, more like a year, and it really wasn't my dad - it was a drifter I picked up in a Port Authority restroom - but the story still stands as a metaphor for health care.
Like a make believe Santa, the Democrats came in at one am, sliding down the chimney with a bag full of crap. Like a phony Santa, the health care bill cannot arrive in broad daylight - or you'll expose the illusion. The same thing can be said for that "non-binding legal agreement" Obama took with him from Copenhagen. He should have just brought us clogs.
And you know, both examples are a lot like the type of gifts you get from selfish relatives who really wanted the gifts themselves.
A. The health care bill is like a puppy. The purchaser buys it for himself, really -as an ego boost to see how excited the kids gets. Then of course, the gift-giver is nowhere in sight when it's time to paper train and feed the money-sucking furball. That's health care - except health care reform will crap over more than just the carpet.
B. The climate change agreement is a less destructive but utterly hopeless kind of present - it's a gift card for a store you want nothing from. Think Sharper Image, except everything needs to be wound up before it falls apart. Just because Uncle Gore owns stock in it, he thinks you should be grateful. Believe me, that gift card is going nowhere except the drawer where you keep the stray UNO cards.
The upside with Christmas?
You can return everything.
If we could only do the same with this crud.
And if you disagree with me, you're probably a homophobic, planet-hating racist.
cute. The “healthare” bill is, in reality, an “existence” tax, pure and simple.
Greg Proops!
Pat Monihan, from Train!
S.E. Cupp!
Ron Geraci!
and a special guest: a Red Eye non-fan will be on the show to critique. it will be a gas and a half.