The belt was her tool of choice...
My mother's tool of choice was a large slotted spoon.
She said it was better because the slots left a nice pattern of welts.
Posted on 12/31/2009 9:19:58 AM PST by Arec Barrwin
New Research: Why Never Spanking Might Be Worse for Kids Than Spanking Them
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 11:00 AM By Po Bronson
In NurtureShock, we described some extensive cross-ethnic and international research on spanking by Drs. Jennifer Lansford and Ken Dodge.
Their data suggested that if a culture views spanking as the normal consequence for bad behavior, kids aren’t damaged by its occasional use.
To explain this shocker, the scholars suggested that in cultures or communities where spanking is common, parents are less agitated when administering spankings. Spanking almost never when combined with losing your temper can be worse than spanking frequently.*
But what about the third option: not spanking them at all?
Unfortunately, there’s been little study of this, because children who’ve never been spanked aren’t easy to find. Most kids receive physical discipline at least once in their life. But times are changing, and parents today have numerous alternatives to spanking. The result is that kids are spanked less often overall, and kids who’ve never been spanked are becoming a bigger slice of the pie in long-term population studies.
(Excerpt) Read more at blog.newsweek.com ...
“Congrats on having well-behaved children - but also consider yourself lucky as not everyone else shares your good fortune.
“Children are different. I’ve had kids that shape up after being given a stern look. And I also have one who seems to revel in the battle of the wills. Give him a stern look and he’ll more often then not give it back to you (to his mom especially).”
Absolutely true! I’ve often said that God gave me easy children because He knew I was weak and couldn’t handle much more.
Nonetheless, many posters here seem to assume that children generally need to be hit in order to be well-disciplined and well-behaved. I have no doubt that that is true of some children. But I don’t think that it’s true of all children, not by a stretch.
“Previosly written:
Proper discipline of children involves defining his boundaries and then holding them RESPONSIBLE if/when the boundary is breached. What this means is that the child gets an EXPLANATION about the seriousness of their infraction. And perhaps a spanking is warranted and perhaps not.”
I agree. From the time they were born, I’d explain to my two sons what they’d done wrong (when they did something wrong) and why they were being punished. Some folks thought I was nuts. But even before they understood quite what I was saying, they understood from my tone that they were in trouble and I was instructing them as to the nature of the problem.
“When a child has crossed the line of expected behavior, and spanking is KNOWN by the child (because the parent has MADE IT KNOWN BEFOREHAND) to be the penalty, then the parent can administer the spanking - telling the child exactly how many spanks he will receive - just like a judge passes out a sentence using the proscribed guidelines.”
Frankly, with my older son, just my disapproval was all that was ever needed to sufficiently discipline him. For him, knowledge that he’s done wrong is sufficiently punishing (and often over-punishing).
Even for my younger son (my “hellion”), knowledge of my disapproval is often sufficient to dissuade him in the short run, but not infrequently, he forgets his lessons.
As well, there are other forms of punishment other than hitting one’s kids, and they’ve been effective for me.
sitetest
So this is a perfect opportunity to answer a very simple question: are kids who’ve never been spanked any better off, long term?
Gunnoe’s summary is blunt: “I didn’t find that in my data.”
...
Studies of corporal punishment almost never look at good outcomes, but Gunnoe wanted to really tease out the differences in these kids.
What she discovered was another shocker: those who’d been spanked just when they were young—ages 2 to 6—were doing a little better as teenagers than those who’d never been spanked. On almost every measure.
A separate group of teens had been spanked until they were in elementary school. Their last spanking had been between the ages of 7 and 11. These teens didn’t turn out badly, either.
Compared with the never-spanked, they were slightly worse off on negative outcomes, but a little better off on the good outcomes.
Only the teenagers who were still being spanked clearly showed problems.
If you look at the basic lies of Gen 3:4-5, you’ll see the basis of liberalism.
“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman.
(There will be no consequences for your behaviors and choices)
5 “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened,
(you are/will be smarter than everyone else)
and you will be like God,
(be your own god, responsible to no one)
knowing good and evil.”
(knowing=defining good and evil for yourself)
>They were everyday heroes. Boy do I miss them!<
I, too, was blessed with loving parents, and I knopw your ache, but they are but a breath away from us. We are never alone, for our Father God is with us always. Without Him, we are truly lost.
“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. “ - Proverbs 22:15
Notice it doesn’t begin with “if”.
My mother's tool of choice was a large slotted spoon.
She said it was better because the slots left a nice pattern of welts.
My one daughter, about 9 at the time, said “Oh - dinner AND a show.”
Mom was uncontrollable in her laughter. (Whew!)
Well, duh ...
Same here. Dad always gave me a swat for each syllable. Thankfully he was a man of few short words.
Heh, my wife says her mother preferred wooden spoons with slots too...:)
I hope you're at least smart enough to avoid jury duty.
A plastic toy hockey-stick handle did, too.
I whip their butts
and make no apologies.
my kids have great manners...we hear it all the time
one fellow kid even told the mom that if you like it so much why didn’t you teach me like that?
ouch
What's good for bears is good for humans.
I can see my grandmother slapping her forehead and saying, “You MEAN someone had to go to a college TO FIND THIS OUT? Oy.”
I hope you're at least smart enough to avoid jury duty.Too late. Did my jury time in late 2004---a sad case, that. A respected video guy with a bunch of awards for his work losing his sight (he'd already lost his job) and suing over the device used in two laser surgeries he had. His attorney polled us after we returned a verdict against him and, to a one, we told her their big mistake was approaching as a product liability suit what all the evidence told us was a bona-fide malpractise suit. If it was malpractise, we'd have handed him a verdict in his favour no questions asked. I've since left southern California and haven't yet been called in Nevada, where I've lived since 2007 . . .
My kids were carrying on at the dinner table and my wife, after a long day alone with them said something like “If I have to listen to one more minute of this my head is going to explode!”So was I when I saw that comment---you owe me a monitor! ;)My one daughter, about 9 at the time, said “Oh - dinner AND a show.”
Mom was uncontrollable in her laughter. (Whew!)
My maternal grandfather had a classic if us grandkids got a little on the wild side. He'd put two dimes in our hands (this was the 1960s when that was about the price still) and said, "Here, take these. Go to the kosher butcher, buy yourself two pounds of brains, and put them in your head."
Being the oldest of seven, I try to explain this concept to my wife, the youngest (by a decade or so) of three. Of course, “she’s just tired” or she’s “strong-willed” or “she’s just a baby/toddler” is all I hear.
Interestingly, she’ll behave for me. She tends to walk all over mom.
Having raised 6 kids one thing my wife and I did early on was to agree that whatever decision one parent made concerning the kids we would live by it. If we as parents disagreed, it was never in front of the kids so they could not think they could divide and conquer Always asked them "did you ask Mom/Dad and what was the answer" to make sure they did not shop around for the answer they wanted.
I know this sounds almost like a battle plan, but as you probably well know there are forces out their wanting to destroy our children and as parents we must be vigilant to protect them, even if think they think we are unreasonable and controlling
Sorry for the posts of others...with all the crap of the previous generations, it doesn’t surprise me that people would know that spanking is good, but the technique may not be understood.
Here’s my answer: It depends on age...when my brats were young, say 2 to 4, then just a light whack on the but was fine - you know you’ve done it right if they cry. As they get older, towards 8, you hit harder, but they’ll still cry without much of a whack. From 8 to 12, you have build up some momentum, but you can still get a few tears out. Starting at age 13 or so, you practically have to injure them to get them to cry (i.e., not worth it)...but then you can start to discipline other ways - like taking away their computer games, cell phones, IPODs, etc. In most cases, if you spanked the kid all along, things get easy in the teen years anyway.
Finally, some other rules:
1) As someone else posted, be absolutely SURE that they understand why they were whacked (yes, even a 2-year old knows not to throw food, for example).
2) Train your kids to deny EVER receiving physical punishment to others, like teachers in particular. It depends on the other adult and the state laws, but you can NEVER go wrong by having the kid simply deny EVERYTHING. And, as the kids get old enough, explain to them the importance of keeping mum, even when threatened with not seeing their mommy again. There are simply way TOO MANY liberals that look at disciple as battering the kid, as the comments to the article show...you don’t need to invite them into your life.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.