Maybe the dog ate his birth certificate and then the dog was destroyed in a fire.
No, no, no, the dog STOLE the birth certificate from the official files, used it for rolling paper, lit a joint, and accidentally set the archives on fire.
The dog, unable to find an exit due to it’s hallucinogenic haze, tragically died in that fire.
See? Always a reasonable explanation for these sort of things.
Bush’s Fault.
Maybe the dog started the fire? I’m just saying...