Law murky for mom who returned adopted Russian boy

wjla ^

[Clintonfatigued]

The biological mother of this child was an alcoholic and it sounds like the kid had fetal alcohol syndrome.

[353FMG]

That’s still only a copy. Can’t you send me a certified copy or, better yet, the original?

[freebirth]

My husband and I were emergency and short-term foster parents for infants and sibling groups in Philadelphia years ago. Deeply rewarding but wrenching work. Having worked in the fostercare system over the years we had seen first hand how long children sometimes languished before permanent homes could be identified. We eventually decided we could make the most positive impact if we were the first place a child or group went when they first came into care.

We had originally started out as a home willing to take teens for long term placement who had failed in other homes. That ended when we were directly lied to by Social Services. We had been concerned that we weren’t always getting the whole story, but felt the process was basically honest, since we were on record as being willing to take difficult cases. Our only caveat was we would not take an adolescent known to have sexually molested other children in a previous home, as we had young children of our own. The child in question was 14 or 15 as I recall, and had a history of arson in his previous placement. We had agreed to go forward after an extensive case-review and several meetings, including with the previous care providers. On the day we were going to sign the papers accepting the placement I happened to have a few minutes alone with the young man (who I rather liked) and brought up the arson issue and, conversationally, asked him did he think that was why he had been removed from that home. He said no, that he had to leave because he had molested their son, but he had told the counselors that he wouldn’t do that anymore.

This is a true story. When my husband and I confronted the social worker she acknowledged that she knew but that because the boy had a right to confidentiality she had not told us the truth when we asked. We left the agency that day.

[kiltie65]

When Carter was in office and let all the Cuban immigrants come in, remember Castro emptied the jails and mental wards and sent them to Florida (the Marielitos, I think they were called...most ended up locked up.) I would not doubt for one minute that Russia would have no qualms about sending children with mental disabilities to the U.S., figuring Russia would save money their long term care in Russia would entail.

[redheadtoo]

So what happens if one of her “own” children is “too much for her”?

The same thing. Parents have always had the right to give up the custody of their children. If they didn't then only orphans could be adopted. Sometimes, unfortunately, the state has to step in and remove children from their biological parent.

[rejoicing]

Your story is exactly the sort of thing I was referring to. Many people find it hard to believe that Social Services and adoption agencies will deliberately lie to families in order to place a difficult child. Most families go into foster care as idealistically as you did and become very disillusioned by the way they are treated. I’m so glad that you found out the true situation before the young man was actually placed in your home.