VAWA: Billions Spent on Pure Government Evil

In my column recently I reprinted an email, one of many I get, that I entitled A Garden Variety Nightmare. Recently the following found its way into my email, and I was similarly compelled to share it with readers. It is long, and I edited it down with permission from the sender. I hope I have done it justice, as I don’t feel adequate to add a single word to this particular nightmare. I am thankful that it is going to the Senate Judiciary Committee, though exactly why I cannot say.

I am writing regarding the May 5, 2010 Judiciary Committee hearing on the Violence Against Women Act. I find it interesting that the only individuals and groups who are invited to testify in front of the committee are ones who directly benefit from the billions given out via the continued re-funding of this act. This funding, since 1994 has been granted through half-truths, fear mongering, one sided testimony and outright deception. I have also mailed my story to one newspaper for every state in our union since all working Americans fund this program via tax dollars that are destroying men, children and families under the guise of protecting females from abuse.

I am college educated and also an honorably discharged veteran and a firm believer that strong families equal a strong society. With that said, I have made mistakes during a 10 year marriage and I will be the first to admit it. But let this much be clear, I have never in my life ever laid a hand on a woman, including my ex-wife, nor my four children.

The nightmare of my divorce was a simple but common one. I was served on a Thursday by her attorney and by the following Tuesday I was in jail for domestic violence. After being served with the papers, I made it a point not to contact her until I was properly represented by an attorney. Tuesday, January 30th, 2007, however, would change my life forever, beginning what can only be described as a decent into hell.

At the time, I held the title of director of sales for a national company with over 200 individuals under my direct supervision. That morning at 9:30, I received a call from my ex-wife that admittedly turned very bitter on both sides of the conversation. The thrust of her call was that that through her attorney she was going to “make me pay” and ensure she got “full custody” of our children and then she would make sure I would only be able to see them when she “lets me.”

I tried to call her back, with no response, so I set my phone feature to auto-dial that would call until she answered. I left the phone on my desk to take care of another issue at work and turned it off about a half an hour later. At 11:30 AM, 3 police officers showed up and took me into custody in front of my employees and my supervisors.

Previous to this day, I had never been in trouble with the law, but still I was arrested, booked and thrown into a holding cell with men wearing both the blue and orange jumpsuits. Thinking this was just a misunderstanding, I tried to reason with the officers at the jail but was immediately taken, stripped naked in an another open cell right in front of two women; not police officers, but detainees. Standing there naked, embarrassed and scared, I was given the green suicide jacket and left under loose supervision in a holding cell.

The door later opened and another inmate wearing a green padded suit was let in. After talking with this individual for a bit, I found out he was in custody for felony assault and aggravated robbery. Then he stood up, defecated in his hands and wiped it all over the floor and his body. Needless to say, I begged to be let out of the cell and finally, 7 hours later, about 11 PM, after promising not to hurt myself, I was taken out of the suicide watch and processed into general population. I was locked into a cell and told that I would see the judge in the morning. Putting into words the desperation and sadness I felt is not something I am able to do, but I can say with absolute authority, it was not only the longest but also the darkest night of my life.

In the morning, the cell door opened and I was ushered into another holding area in preparation to be transported to county court. In this cell were approximately 45 other individuals waiting as well and it was another mixture of the orange and blue, or more accurately, those accused of felonies and misdemeanors.

I remember standing against the wall. (Actually trying to melt into it) minding my own business, praying, begging in my mind for that door to open. After what seemed like an eternity, we were ushered like cattle out of the cell and ordered to put our nose on the wall and then kneel on the bench that lined the hallway. We were then administered shackles around our ankles, waists and wrists. Walking with shackles is not easy, but I knew in my mind that the judge would see how silly this situation was and everything would be back to normal in no time.

It was clear I was going to learn the realities domestic violence enforcement the hard way.

I was loaded into a van with 5 other “domestic abusers” and we made our journey to the courthouse. We were locked into a cell down the hallway from the courtroom and waited our turn for justice. We were all brought to a table where a District Attorney offered us a fast track program that would drop all of our charges if we went to DV classes and fulfilled a two year probation. I knew I was no abuser so I refused the offer and said I wanted to see the judge.

We were walked into the courtroom and one by one, each individual I took the van ride with stood and took the DA’s offer. I was called to the podium and when asked what my plea was, I retorted,”This is just a divorce situation, you can see that can’t you?” When I asked what I was charged with, the reply was menacing and harassment. “Of course I’m not guilty of that” I said. So I was given a personal recognizance bond with my not guilty plea and sent back to the cage down the hall.

About 20 minutes later, the officer that drove us down to the courthouse came in with papers for me to sign. I was, from that point forward, restrained from having any contact with my ex wife, but more importantly my own children. I asked why I was not able to defend myself when this was decided; the officer replied that it was decided in a hearing that took place while I was in jail the day before. No opportunity to respond, no chance to defend myself, no right to be a father, until otherwise ordered.

I was out of jail but would later find out that I had to prove I was a good father, rather than just be one. Good enough to be a dad every day before this day, but now I was in the position of proving I even had any rights to be with my own children, stemming from an argument between two parents.

I checked my voicemail when I got home and found out that I had been fired. It turns out that having three officers arrest you at work over a phone call is a pretty embarrassing thing to happen. So, no children and no more $70,000.00 per year position either. Once I had a chance to explain the truth to my boss, I was offered a sales position but not my old one back as a leader due to the perception in the office. I turned it down.

I had to focus on the permanent restraining order hearing coming up and I had to find an attorney to represent me in those proceedings. Having paid a total of $10,000.00 to an attorney, I would go in now for round two.

That hearing was postponed and the magistrate, knowing I had not been convicted of a crime, and seeing I had no prior criminal record, a solid work history and hearing testimony from all sides, decided to let me see my children, when her parents were around to watch me.

It’s called supervised visitation, or, being innocent and treated like a criminal that needs to be watched, and evaluated based on your exes parents watching the contact and reporting back to the magistrate. This, honorable Senators, is what is happening to innocent fathers in this country each and every day.

This supervision went on for months. I showed up, played with them, had dinner with them, got them ready for bed, brushed their teeth, and read to them from books. Most of all I can remember kissing them on their heads goodnight and then getting into my car, tears streaming down my face, only to go home alone, unable to sleep, unable to eat and unable to find any semblance of happiness. Being restrained from the kids also meant that I missed my little girls first day of Kindergarten. I was able to see them, but was restrained from the school per the ex-parte hearing.

Again, I can’t articulate the pain associated with that day, but I know many other Fathers out there are going through the same thing. It is cruel and unusual punishment, without so much as a crime ever having been proven.

I sucked it up and did what I had to do. I went back and forth to court and finally was granted unsupervised visitation. It’s a shame to say that in today’s America a father would actually be proud of that; would see it as a victory, but this is the America that VAWA brings us.

Eventually, I ran out of money for legal representation. This is what happens when courts and attorney’s drag things out, bleeding people of their resources. So, I had to represent myself at the end of both the divorce and DV cases.

As part of the divorce decree, in which I was given unsupervised access to my children, I had to show her parents a house with a bedroom for each of them. I had to get an SUV, as my children were all too young to sit in the front seat, and I also agreed to a $2,400.00 per month Alimony/Child Support arrangement, per my past three years of income potential. And the best part, I was told to pay her attorney over $10,000.00 for her decision to divorce. Nevertheless, based on my past performance, I thought “No sweat,” on any of those issues. I’m a proven winner in the corporate world. At least I get to be a father to my kids!

After this fantastic performance on my own in the divorce (so I thought), I knew that defending myself in the DV case would generate a similar victory. So I went into the pre-trial portion of the case and made motions to dismiss based on: Violations of “Due process of law” I argued that “No person shall be deprived of life, liberty or property, without due process of law.” Arrest without a warrant, the officer must first witness a crime being committed. Violations of the Federal Rules of Criminal Procedure. Keeping in mind that under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments of the United States Constitution, citizens are guaranteed due process under the law; throwing out evidence as Fruit of the Poisonous Tree; Violation of a speedy trial; we were approaching a year, and the whammy, her 911 tape/impact statement.

So I went in and every single one of my arguments was thrown out. VAWA, I learned, trumps the constitution. I did get the Menacing charge dropped, proving no imminent danger was present, the basis of the entire case, but they were still going forward with the harassment charge.

The thing about the harassment charge is that they were still attaching a domestic violence tag to it since we were intimate partners. So I was out of money and soundly beaten by the DA in the pre-trial hearing. I went in the day of the trail and with no other options, forced to plead guilty to harassment. This case too was changed to another Judge at the last minute, so my options were limited. I had no attorney and no preparation done to defend myself in a trial, so I took the plea and was put on two years’ probation, with 24 domestic violence classes mandated. I went to the first class and listened to men talk themselves through why they were there. Then a guy stood up and said he was there because he set his daughter on fire for turning off the football game he was watching. What? Are you kidding me? He set his own daughter on fire? Then I find out in order to graduate, under the Duluth Model, I had to admit being a perpetrator of violence against women. What? Are You kidding me? I have to admit what?

Then the economy happened and I was one of many who were hit hard by the downturn. I was unable to keep up with my court ordered payments.

As I write this, my legal bills and court costs and support payments sit at $48,000.00. My father passed away this year and my mother is on her deathbed, so my small inheritance, all of what my parents worked for, will go to satisfy that.

After the divorce was final, my ex made it a point to make it very difficult to allow me to see them at their location and she would not have them brought to me. The final conversation I had with her was this: “We are divorced…you’re not invited over here. Your trick in court was nice with the 911 tape, but all I need to do is make another call.”

That stopped me in my tracks. Spending a night in that cell, courtesy of VAWA, and a false allegation, literally scared me out of trying to see my own children. Especially knowing first hand that my ex is right. That’s the world now, and another call is all it takes.

She remarried within the year after the divorce. I wonder to myself daily, are they told to call him Dad? Is he a good guy? What are they told about me? Are they healthy? Happy? Do they miss me? Do they think about me? Can my little one ride a bike yet?

One thing that comes with a DV charge on your record is that finding a job becomes all the more difficult, compounding all issues associated with this situation. I have been told, “We don’t employ wife beaters,” and, ”HR said your too much of a risk due to your violence issue.” With no income, I was evicted from my town home, lost all of my furniture, defaulted on the SUV, but above all and most important, lost my children.

I have not seen them in over 2 years and every single day that goes by takes another piece of my soul along with my hope. I often wonder how I can get back the chance of being a father.

The sad truth of it is I can’t. You see, the agenda today is intentional propaganda that a man does not want to be part of his child’s life. We are called deadbeats, abusers, selfish and uncaring. As the VAWA implies by its very name, All men are violent. All women are victims.

Any lawyer today knows how to ruin a man in the divorce process, using this silver bullet to undermine what it means to be a father. Jobs by thousands are created under this act and more are created via the biased testimony given on Capitol Hill, from only those that have something to gain when it’s re-funded. Think about how many individuals are employed through Domestic Violence industry. The more arrests made, the more funding a state gets from the Federal Government. The more fathers that fall behind on child support after not being able to find good employment from this act, the more enforcers are needed to track them down. The more the VAWA is manipulated, the more Police Officers, DA’s, Attorney’s, Jails, Corrections Officers, Shelter Workers, Victims Advocates, Judges, Case Workers, Defense Attorneys, Therapists, Lobbyists, Politicians and Feminist positions are created and funded.

Millions of stable homes are turned into millions of single mother homes creating millions of fatherless children. Since 1994 that is what this act has given America under the premise of protecting women.

Having my fundamental, God given right to be a father taken from me for monetary/political reasons is not American, nor is it right, and it certainly is not the constitutional values I served honorably to uphold in the military.

Make no mistake, violence against anyone is always wrong . So is, however, the heavy handed destruction of men, boys and families based on the ever expanding definition of what violence is.

I understand that the billions of dollars generated from taxpayers via this act is a hard thing to turn down. Then again, the choice is yours to make. Billions of dollars, or both loving parents after divorce. Billions of dollars or families. Billions of dollars to keep the Silver Bullet alive and well for divorce attorneys to use to destroy a man, since it has been made so tragically easy to do.

To make it simple: Billions of dollars to continue the destruction of our society.

President Obama will lecture men this Fathers Day that we need to be “knocked over the head once in awhile”. Vice President Biden will still call this his greatest achievement. Senator Reid will get up and let everyone know that when men lose jobs in this economy, they beat their women. Senator Boxer will let us all know that “Being a woman is no longer a pre-existing condition.”

Taking Billions from taxpayers every year to continue to fund this act is shameful, sexist but more importantly a clear violation of the Constitution. It does little to help those that need it; rather it funds the destruction of the family on an ever increasing scale by lining the pockets of groups that desire the family unit irrelevant, and they are succeeding at an alarming rate.

Since I know nothing will change, I would ask that you take a small portion of those billions we as working taxpayers give to this act, and put out a national PSA telling men to walk on eggshells at home, never raise his voice (rather whisper), ask them to say ”yes dear, you are right, I am so sorry” on every occasion. Don’t ask her to slow down her shopping if you can’t afford the mortgage payment. Never direct negative comments toward her about anything and never, ever, give your partner an angry stare. If nothing will change, that is the least our government can do to make men and boys aware of the enormous danger they face in any relationship as a result of this act.

It would be a sad day in America to keep everything the same and allow even more men and fathers walk the same plank to Hell that I was forced to walk via a now standard divorce strategy that works to perfection.

Great post -— thanks.

What man hasn’t been threatened with exactly what is in this article ??????????

Not really ... they have the fifth column, the enemedia to cover/twist their lies for them. Exposing a lie in a moral society works to embarrass and deter the liar. In Amerika, the media are the purveyors of so many lies that the exposure of lies has little effect, as the current crop of scum lying for Barry Soetoro at FR proves.

Might that be, restrooms that the 'public sector' would access, as opposed to any Congresswomen might access? (I guess it depends where on the 'transgender spectrum' one might be. Those caught in the middle of 'real' change - no doubt and as well - pose some challenges.)

But hey; fair is fair. . .when it comes to what was 'once upon a time' the fairer sex.

Most times I do no read the whole Post, this one I did, it is a nightmare for this man. Just horrible and I am a woman, but NEVER, EVER, EVER would I do this to any man, let alone the father of my children, EVER.

If he were an extreme abuser perhaps then I could see some type of punishment or the burning bed, but what she did to this man and others like him is deplorable, based on simply being a VICIOUS bitch.

It is horrible for men these days, all a woman has to do is yell RAPE or ABUSE, that simple. Men, I am sorry it has become like this. You know, it is even sad when as a woman I have to refrain from hugging a child, don't touch, just sad.

I only hope his children will one day ASK and FIND their father and know the truth, at that point they WILL turn on their mother.

My heart goes out to you SIR.

It’s because of experiences like this I will not even date. Any time that I am speaking to a woman I make sure there are witnesses. All this because one woman looked up my name on a search engine, and found a similar name - different middle name - on one of the Klanwatch sites. She immediately assumed I was him and could not be convinced otherwise.

I can’t say how much this article makes me just furious at the BITCHES out there, allowing our country to be destroyed, their families destroyed, their children destroyed, all for the perverted pleasure of “giving it” to a man they once claimed to love, until death.

The continued corrosive dismantling, all for the sake of the lie of feminism.

Lord help those honest men who do not deserve this.
And may your righteous wrath fall on those evil bitches who do deserve it. Amen.

It doesn’t just happen to men in divorces. It doesn’t just happen to adults who are in a dating relationship that goes sour. It can happen (with all the gory details of arrest, detention and ruined lives) to any young man or boy standing in the way of something an abusive woman wants — power and money. The moment a woman walks into a police station or makes a phone call and wishes to press charges, the police are required to make the arrest and let the courts sort it out. In the meantime, the system overload and the liberal narrative complete the destructive result.

I pray for all men (as the mother of a fine young man). May God protect you — be very selective in your choice of a partner, remember that every thought you think doesn’t have to be expressed, and don’t be fooled into thinking you are exempt. You’re not.

I was served on a Thursday by her attorney and by the following Tuesday I was in jail for domestic violence.... she was going to “make me pay” and ensure she got “full custody” of our children and then she would make sure I would only be able to see them when she “lets me.”

Something does not smell right in this story. The author makes it seem that life was pretty rosey and then suddenly his wife turns into a raving lunatic hell bent on revenge and punishment.

I have to think there is more to the story beyond what is posted here.

Yes, some women do turn on a dime, and make stuff out of thin air. One of the amazing concepts out of “feminism” is any disagreement with a woman is an act of oppression. The woman in this story obviously drank the Kool Aid.

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