Posted on 06/27/2010 7:35:56 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar
A telling story is unfolding in the Senate race in South Carolina. This one might take the cake, even in a state affectionately known as “The Jerry Springer Show” of politics.
Half-wit Alvin Greene, who ran for the Democratic Senate nomination to challenge sitting (which is about all they do) Sen. Jim “Never Needs Scope” DeMint, R-S.C., won in a landslide. This is the most embarrassing thing to happen in Palmetto State politics in, well, weeks.
Clearly, South Carolina voters do not pay much attention to politics. Politicians know that as long as they do not tinker with the state’s age of consent laws, residents do not get up in arms.
Greene is a semi-literate, unemployed, questionably discharged military man who lives in his parents’ basement. He never campaigned, never gave speeches and had neither a campaign Web site nor even yard signs. Sounds like senatorial timber to me!
He was thrown out of the military in what he calls an “involuntary” discharge. If our political leaders are known for anything, it is their involuntary discharges.
If you have not seen Alvin on TV, just imagine Forrest Gump’s buddy Benjamin Buford “Bubba” Blue, for whom Forrest named his shrimp company after Bubba recited all the culinary variations of shrimp.
Alvin showed early senatorial ambitions when he incurred a felony charge by showing porn on his cell phone to a college girl. That may be a felony in South Carolina, but it’s also the primary reason the iPhone is selling so well in the rest of the country.
We all remember when Republican Gov. Mark Sanford got in trouble for his affair with a hot Argentine news reporter and made that speech where he admitted to the dalliance. Who can forget the awkward conclusion of his press conference when he waited, hand in the air, for some guy to give him a high-five?
It wasn’t so much that Sanford had a girlfriend. This outsourcing-weary, unionized textile state was upset that its governor was sending even mistressing jobs overseas.
Just to show that S.C. is not sexist about extra-marital rumors, the GOP’s current gubernatorial frontrunner, Nikki Haley, has been accused of hanky-panky. Clearly, South Carolina politicians enjoy polling. They even have that “you lie” guy in Congress.
Having South Carolina as the current “pull my finger” state of political shame helps other states deflect attention away from their own foibles. Illinois is grateful.
There have been so many scandals involving politicians that you know we are in trouble when Jesse “The Body” Ventura and Dennis Kucinich are considered our most stable elected officials.
The nomination by his party of Manning, S.C.’s finest is embarrassing to Democrats, and they reacted as they have been conditioned to do: They blamed Republicans. This Manning-churian candidate, the Dems say, was funded by the GOP. As of this writing, no theories have emerged to explain why nearly 60 percent of his state’s Democrats voted for him.
As the third-highest ranking Democrat in Congress and the “go to” guy for screaming racism, Rep. Jim Clyburn, D-S.C., was well positioned to point the Obama finger on this one. As we all know, it would be unthinkable for the Democrats to run an unaccomplished young black candidate with scant credentials, shady funding, nefarious friends from a corrupt state and an almost nonexistent voting record for high office. If Alvin Greene is actually elected, can a Nobel Peace Prize be far behind?
Liberal lapdog Chris “Chill Up My Leg” Matthews opined that this “has the looks of a dirty trick, sort of a Watergate number.” For all you kids out there too young to remember, the Watergate scandal involved the Nixon White House clandestinely funding the campaign entry fee for a Forrest Gump-like, African-American man (although I do not think that term was used back then), with pending porn charges, to run for the Democratic nomination for the U.S. Senate.
Greene defeated Democratic Party-backed Vic Rawl, a former judge and state legislator. I would like to think we are seeing an anti-incumbent sentiment fueled by the tea party movement, but demographic examination of the Democratic voters in South Carolina points to another reason. It does not worry me that these idiot, wannabe politicians run for office. What should bother us all is that we elect them. Maybe we really do get the government we deserve.
Hilarious article! Thanks for posting.
That he did. All criticism of his "intellect" aside, either there are only a dozen or so democrats who bother to vote in primaries in S.C., or he has an unusual talent for winning democrat primaries. If the latter case is valid, I'd like to see him move to Illinois after De Mint mops the floor with him in November. Get on the ballot and give Durbin a taste of that sweet, sweet medicine. The talking heads will go nuts, and he'd be a folk hero for all time, I tell ya.
Barbara Boxer. She speaks better than Greene. But she is dumb as a box of rocks. That’s from a democrat friend who knows her well.
Great interviews of Alvin Greene
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0F-nxOtd3o
With a college degree, and no athletic scholarship.
Add to the list Maxine Waters, Cynthia McKinney, and the unforgettable Hank Johnson. Some of the most ignorant buffoons who ever weaseled their way into public office.
As a matter of fact, Zell Miller is the only Democrat I can think of that had any sort of intellect that I could respect, and he's out of the business of government.
I mean, really, can you think of even one Democrat who you could rate as smart or intelligent? I can't think of a single one.
This article is going to piss some people off. Writer got to be one of the cool kids for a day.
I'm with you there. Only those who actually hold a stake in our country should be allowed to vote.
As it is now, the parasites who subsist off the hard work and production of the real stake holders in the society are gaining a numerical edge. If they reach the point where they can vote away the wealth of the productive class at will, it will be the end of the republic.
The election of Obama has proven how dangerously close we are to that tipping point.
Even so, I remain cautiously optimistic that we patriots will restore this country to its former greatness in the years to come. Obama has sparked a citizen rebellion like nothing since the American Revolution, and it's only getting started.
Seeing no 'sarc' tag here; am assuming you are serious. In which case; could you tell me; what in this article was Greene's greatest acheivement. . .or just name a few.
(Gettin 'elected' when one did nothing to render or invite the results in not an acheivement.) It IS, however; someone elses. . .
C'mon now. Did not Greene win the nomination fair and square? There is absolutely no evidence of cheating on his behalf.
And was that not an achievement? Especially given his modest means?
There's nothing wrong with that statement. Even if it's made tongue-in-cheek...
He’s going to do a lot better in the general election than people think. Many will vote for him as a joke. I’d be tempted to do so myself.
Maybe Alvin is just a late-bloomer? I think Alvin might just fit in very well amongst his fellow Democrats in DC.
He doesn’t need an acheivement; he’s the nominee. DeMint should beat him handily, but that would be the result with the career pol in place on the ballot, also.
Well; not implying that he does 'need' it; though that is usually how we measure the prospects for someone who wants to lead others so that they may live 'safe; free; as citizens' and prosper as well.
But to point; was only commenting on Okie01's response: [I honor him for his achievement.]
And stand by my observation that Greene has none.
Wasn’t it Hank Johnson who worried about Guam tipping over?
Yep, he's the one. A fine Democrat.
I don't think that bud ever quite opened. Not all of them do, you know. I'm afraid that Alvin is already as smart as he's ever going to be.
But, you're right about him fitting in well with the Dem establishment in DC. In that crowd, his I.Q. is probably only a bit below average.
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