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TSA Opt-Out Day, Now with a Superfantastic New Twist! (Men, wear a kilt, no underwear)
The Atlantic ^ | November 14th, 2010 | Jeffrey Goldberg

Posted on 11/16/2010 11:51:17 AM PST by ironwill

But come November 24th, here's an idea you might try to make the day extra-special. It's a one-word idea: Kilts. Think about it -- if you're a male, and you want to bollix-up the nonsensical airport security-industrial complex, one way to do so would be to wear a kilt. If nothing else, this will cause TSA employees to throw up their hands in disgust. If you want to go the extra extra mile, I suggest commando-style kilt-wearing. While it is probably illegal to fly without pants, I can't imagine that it's illegal to fly without underpants.

(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Government
KEYWORDS: bewareofointment; bodyscanners; junk; patdowns; protest; tsa; tsapervs
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Brilliant idea! How soon will it be before the TSA bans kilts?
1 posted on 11/16/2010 11:51:19 AM PST by ironwill
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To: ironwill

I’m going to wear a bikini and bathrobe.

That should send everyone screaming for the exits. I look like an older Maxine.

On a brighter note, the LA radiation doser went on the fritz as I got up to it and they sent me through the regular metal detector, no pat down.


2 posted on 11/16/2010 11:54:47 AM PST by OpusatFR
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To: ironwill
TSA agent: Step into the scanner.

Traveler: I opt out.

TSA agent: OK, we'll have to give you a full pat down, including both thighs up to the groin.

Traveler: sigh if you must. But in the interests of full disclosure, you need to know that due to some unpleasant events in my past, which I neither want to discuss nor even think about, I'm told that the I beat the last guy who touched my crotch into a bloody pulp. Mind you, I have no recollection of actually doing this, and I think I can control it if I can brace myself for the unwanted contact. Still, I want you to know that I have the highest respect for you and admire the difficult job you do, so if I have a full psychotic break and injure you, it's nothing personal, and I have no conscious control over it.

(pause)

Traveler: Your move.

3 posted on 11/16/2010 11:55:20 AM PST by null and void (We are now in day 665 of our national holiday from reality. - 0bama really isn't one of US.)
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To: ironwill

No Thanks! Last time I tried that, Barney Frank was my screener.


4 posted on 11/16/2010 11:56:21 AM PST by MNDude (And we were SO close to acheiving utopia)
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To: ironwill

>> If nothing else, this will cause TSA employees to throw up their hands in disgust.

And if it doesn’t... well, don’t tell the TSA screener your phone number when he asks, let’s put it that way.


5 posted on 11/16/2010 11:58:35 AM PST by Nervous Tick (Trust in God, but row away from the rocks!)
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To: Nervous Tick

“Boy I don’t know where you’ve been but I see you won 1st Prize!”


6 posted on 11/16/2010 12:02:56 PM PST by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
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To: ironwill

I can’t/won’t sit with me knees together


7 posted on 11/16/2010 12:03:02 PM PST by SF_Redux
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To: OpusatFR

SPANDEX!...IT's GOTTA BE SPANDEX!!!...........

8 posted on 11/16/2010 12:04:05 PM PST by Red Badger (The House finally fell on Nancy Pelosi..........)
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To: ironwill
I would love to see anyone to search this one!


9 posted on 11/16/2010 12:04:25 PM PST by greatdefender (If You Want Peace.....Prepare For War)
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To: SF_Redux

Wanna piss ‘em off....just as they’re bent down patting your junk...FART


10 posted on 11/16/2010 12:04:33 PM PST by BubbaJunebug
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To: ironwill

Just curious. Are there any laws against traveling with no underwear, a kilt and a full erection?

I opt in!


11 posted on 11/16/2010 12:04:40 PM PST by HEM
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To: ironwill

No, No, No! Wear a hijab and claim Muslim status! (you can claim a temporary conversion) This will prove the double standard.


12 posted on 11/16/2010 12:04:40 PM PST by grumpygresh (Democrats delenda est)
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To: ironwill

13 posted on 11/16/2010 12:04:44 PM PST by SandRat (Duty, Honor, Country! What else needs said?)
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To: null and void

Much better is to tell the TSA agent that it’s OK, the doctor says the disease is dormant and not communicable today. Or was that yesterday?


14 posted on 11/16/2010 12:06:02 PM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: ironwill
I suggest commando-style kilt-wearing.

It's called "Regimental", and it is the only way to wear a kilt.

15 posted on 11/16/2010 12:06:40 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: grumpygresh

Tell them you’re a Muslim transvestite.


16 posted on 11/16/2010 12:06:54 PM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: ironwill

In addition, I would prep for the trip by not bathing for, oh, about a week. :D


17 posted on 11/16/2010 12:08:37 PM PST by Oberon (Big Brutha Be Watchin'.)
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To: Red Badger

ROTFL!

I have to wear socks though. Does anyone ever clean the floors around the security areas? They are so FILTHY and you have to walk through that dirt to find a chair to put your shoes back on.

If you have flipflops, your barefeet are on that filth.

I mean FILTH, DIRT, nastiness. ICK!


18 posted on 11/16/2010 12:08:50 PM PST by OpusatFR
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To: ironwill

wrap head and privates in aluminum foil, tell them the CIA is beaming microwaves at you


19 posted on 11/16/2010 12:09:26 PM PST by 1000 silverlings (everything that deceives, also enchants: Plato)
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To: ironwill

That’s funny - a guy I knew in the UK, would wear his kilt when hitch-hiking from London to Edinburgh and wear his pants on the way back!!!

Never question a man wearing a kilt.


20 posted on 11/16/2010 12:10:21 PM PST by sodpoodle (Despair; man's surrender. Laughter; God 's redemption.)
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To: ironwill

So the concept of operations here is for a small number of citizens to act up, and jam the system so that nobody can catch their planes?

This will endear the protesters greatly to those who just want to get on a plane and go somewhere.

Imagine if it were Muslims doing this- acting up so nobody could fly. The FBI would immediately declare that it was not terrorism, while most others would declare it a terrorist act and show how it was organized on the internets. With lots of jokes about “Oh those Amish are at it again!”

I think too that part of this concept is based on the “fact” that “they can’t arrest us all”, which might apply in a city park but not so well in the constrained areas of airports.

I’ll be flying then, I think, this will be fun to watch.


21 posted on 11/16/2010 12:11:12 PM PST by DBrow
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To: BubbaJunebug
"Wanna piss ‘em off....just as they’re bent down patting your junk...FART"

I LOVE a nice, juicy, tart Granny Smith apple; however, I have NEVER consumed one in my life that didn't have me outgassing like a champ before I took the last bite...I suppose it's something unique about my biochemical makeup, but it's so consistent you could set your clock by it.

I will indulge prior to my next flight. The TSA wants to search granny? I'll deliver her to them.

22 posted on 11/16/2010 12:11:33 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: SandRat

Your picture is too cute.


23 posted on 11/16/2010 12:12:17 PM PST by EverOnward
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To: sodpoodle

AND take Viagra an hour before............


24 posted on 11/16/2010 12:12:42 PM PST by LiveFreeOrDie2001 (Best Cook on Free Republic! ;-))
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To: Joe 6-pack
I LOVE a nice, juicy, tart.

Yeah ... who doesn't?

25 posted on 11/16/2010 12:12:55 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: greatdefender

I wonder if Helen is flying more these days?


26 posted on 11/16/2010 12:16:05 PM PST by Rebelbase (Palin/Christie 2012)
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To: DBrow

Agreed. If you fly, you fly on their terms.

This isn’t the government telling people they can’t fly to their destination of choice as in the USSR or China. This the government telling people you fly on their watch.

Sorry, but I fly a lot and prefer to be safe. It only takes a few seconds to be very dead along with a few hundred others.


27 posted on 11/16/2010 12:16:09 PM PST by OpusatFR
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To: ironwill

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3grHjibNdA
Check out what War on Everything in Australia did.


28 posted on 11/16/2010 12:16:28 PM PST by Colvin (Proud Owner '66 Binder PU, '66 Binder Travelall,)
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To: ironwill

ROFL!!!!!


29 posted on 11/16/2010 12:17:07 PM PST by Enterprise (As a disaster unfolds, a putz putts.)
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To: null and void

Even better. Drink the “Go Lightly” prep for a colonoscopy about 1/2 hour before you opt out. lol


30 posted on 11/16/2010 12:18:22 PM PST by butterdezillion (.)
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To: ArrogantBustard

May I suggest www.utilikilts.com The ‘Survival’ model boasts pockets enough for 18 bottles of beer.


31 posted on 11/16/2010 12:19:34 PM PST by sneez (Always wash your olives....with Beefeaters)
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To: grumpygresh

I had the entrepreneurial idea of setting up shop renting out hijabs about 5 feet away from where the screenings are done, with a runner to return the hijabs to me right after the person gets past the screening.

I thought maybe the fabric of the hijab could say, “Screw you, Janet Napolitano”, or the word “Dhimmitude” crossed out with the cross-hairs symbol, or something like that.

Think it would work? lol


32 posted on 11/16/2010 12:21:50 PM PST by butterdezillion (.)
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To: OpusatFR

I prefer safety, too, but few of these techniques they use for screening actually do that.

I think the idea is to rely on machines, and have the humans for backup. Much better to have the machines and use them to reinforce and back up a human’s intuition and training.

I’m not a fan of these imagers.

I won’t be a fan even after TSA and HSA fake a bomb intercept on prime time news to convince us to take our shoes off and get pawed by bluegloves.


33 posted on 11/16/2010 12:22:01 PM PST by DBrow
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To: ironwill

TSA really has no option but to push for stronger security to the point of being pushed back by the public. Otherwise when a plane blows up in the sky they’ll be blamed for lax security.


34 posted on 11/16/2010 12:22:17 PM PST by frposty (I'm a simpleton)
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To: sneez

And the Utilikilt has a “modesty snap” to boot!


35 posted on 11/16/2010 12:23:14 PM PST by DBrow
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To: ironwill

I can’t. My dangly parts are below see level.


36 posted on 11/16/2010 12:23:19 PM PST by MARTIAL MONK (I'm waiting for the POP!)
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To: ironwill

http://www.utilikilts.com/

I have three. This could be interesting. :)

Gunner


37 posted on 11/16/2010 12:23:19 PM PST by weps4ret (Where is John Galt?)
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To: DBrow; OpusatFR

Actually, don’t they separate the “opt out” folks into another line altogether? If so, it should make the “regular” screening line shorter and provide some great entertainment as well.


38 posted on 11/16/2010 12:23:42 PM PST by John.Galt2012 (I'll take Liberty and you can keep the "Change"!)
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To: ironwill
kilts

I'm thinking the pertinent hidden parts should also be coated with a thick coat of Vaseline petroleum jelly...a gift that keeps on giving.

"Well, you see sir, I have a condition...and I have to keep 'my junk' moisturized. Oh, I'm sorry, did you get some on you?"

39 posted on 11/16/2010 12:24:37 PM PST by moovova (Don't let Obama spoil the word "hope" for you...)
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To: OpusatFR
Sorry, but I fly a lot and prefer to be safe. It only takes a few seconds to be very dead along with a few hundred others.

What makes you think you're "safe" with a bunch of government functionaries groping elderly nuns? What makes you think any of this nonsense has anything to do with actual security?

They wouldn't have the foggiest idea what to do if they actually ever found a real bomb, though that'll never happen so I guess they're off the hook.

40 posted on 11/16/2010 12:25:00 PM PST by mvpel (Michael Pelletier)
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To: frposty
TSA really has no option but to push for stronger security to the point of being pushed back by the public.

What makes you think that groping pre-teen girls has anything to do with "stronger security?"

They can't even keep people on the no-fly list coming from known terrorist countries on a cash-purchased one-way ticket off the planes, so what really is the point of all this virtual strip-search and grope BS?

41 posted on 11/16/2010 12:27:11 PM PST by mvpel (Michael Pelletier)
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To: mvpel

Right. The real bomb will be safely lodged inside somebody’s body - probably the hijab-clad woman waltzing right through all the so-called “security” procedures.

This isn’t about real security.

After reading about the guys who had the TSA screener reach into their pants and feel all the way around their body, including one who was felt directly on his skin inside his underwear, I actually wonder if they are trying to arouse (no pun intended) a violent response. There is no way this is about genuine security.


42 posted on 11/16/2010 12:28:47 PM PST by butterdezillion (.)
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To: mvpel
They wouldn't have the foggiest idea what to do

Time for some false flag incidents to occur.

J-Nap sez "See, we told you it would work!"

43 posted on 11/16/2010 12:28:47 PM PST by moovova (Don't let Obama spoil the word "hope" for you...)
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To: mvpel

“They wouldn’t have the foggiest idea what to do if they actually ever found a real bomb, though that’ll never happen so I guess they’re off the hook.”

And you work for NSA or Security or another Alphabet so you know this for a fact, eh?


44 posted on 11/16/2010 12:30:04 PM PST by OpusatFR
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
Tell them you’re a Muslim transvestite.

Speaking of weird things, the University of Chicago recently sent out an email questionnaire about food services on campus. They asked whether the respondent was staff, student, or professor and then asked the respondent to select "Male, Female, or Transgendered." As though transgendered is a significantly large enough portion of the population with special dietary orientation to warrant soliciting input.
45 posted on 11/16/2010 12:30:41 PM PST by aruanan
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To: Rebelbase
If she does, it would be either:

by plane

or on a flying carpet


46 posted on 11/16/2010 12:30:55 PM PST by greatdefender (If You Want Peace.....Prepare For War)
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To: ironwill
Male TSA: Do you have anything in your pockets or any implants I should be aware of?

Male Passenger: No

Male TSA: I'm going to be doing a inner thigh inspection on you today since you elected to Opt Out. Are you wearing anything under your kilt?

Male Passenger: Just your wife's lipstick

47 posted on 11/16/2010 12:32:05 PM PST by Harley (Life is Tough, But It's a Lot Tougher When You're a Liberal. Stop Global Whining Now.)
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To: ArrogantBustard

Or a doctor’s white coat with nothing under it.


48 posted on 11/16/2010 12:32:13 PM PST by BunnySlippers (I love BULL MARKETS . . .)
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To: weps4ret

And you could be singing the lyrics to this while in line.

http://www.barleyjuice.com/lyrics/whats-up-yours.php

Gunner


49 posted on 11/16/2010 12:32:32 PM PST by weps4ret (Where is John Galt?)
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To: butterdezillion
I thought maybe the fabric of the hijab could say, “Screw you, Janet Napolitano”, or the word “Dhimmitude” crossed out with the cross-hairs symbol, or something like that.

I want a tee-shirt that has the words "You can't touch my junk" and a crescent and star on it.

50 posted on 11/16/2010 12:32:32 PM PST by ProudFossil
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