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Don’t Touch My Junk
National Review ^ | 19 Nov 2010 | Charles Krauthammer

Posted on 11/19/2010 4:29:36 AM PST by Rummyfan

The junk man’s revolt marks the point at which a docile public declares that it will tolerate only so much idiocy.

Ah, the airport, where modern folk heroes are made. The airport, where that inspired flight attendant did what everyone who’s ever been in the spam-in-a-can crush of a flying aluminum tube — where we collectively pretend that a clutch of peanuts is a meal and a seat cushion is a “flotation device” — has always dreamed of doing: pull the lever, blow the door, explode the chute, grab a beer, slide to the tarmac, and walk through the gates to the sanity that lies beyond. Not since Rick and Louis disappeared into the Casablanca fog headed for the Free French garrison in Brazzaville has a stroll on the tarmac thrilled so many.

Who cares that the crazed steward got arrested, pleaded guilty to sundry charges, and probably was a rude, unpleasant S.O.B to begin with? Bonnie and Clyde were psychopaths, yet what child of the ’60s did not fall in love with Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty?

(Excerpt) Read more at nationalreview.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: charleskrauthammer; junk; krauthammer; tsa; tsapervs
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To: Jonah Hex

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2010/11/dear-airline-im-leaving-you/66750/

Funny column addressing the TSA.


21 posted on 11/19/2010 5:15:12 AM PST by Not gonna take it anymore
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To: raybbr
"Why do Americans have to refer to their body parts by different names?"

That is between me and "Mr. Happy."

22 posted on 11/19/2010 5:15:42 AM PST by billorites (freepo ergo sum)
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To: Rummyfan

The “Junks Man” faces an $11,000 TSA fine for “leaving a secure area without permission.”


23 posted on 11/19/2010 5:24:11 AM PST by luvbach1 (Stop Barry now. He can't help himself.)
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To: raybbr

“Why do Americans have to refer to their body parts by different names? “

We Americans have always had a taste for euphemisms - What in Sam Hill? tarnation, darn it, dang it, etc, etc.


24 posted on 11/19/2010 5:28:58 AM PST by Daveinyork
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To: Old Teufel Hunden
While I like "Don't touch my junk", I guess an iambic pentameter soliloquy reminiscent of Henry V is out of the question for the modern times... : )

To touch or not to touch,
Aye, there's the rub.
As through a scanner darkly, to suffer outrageous misfortune
To have ones jewels familial fondled by a queen,
Or to stand fast, yea tall, to seize the day and cry "Enough!
Lay on once more and dread the coming of mine solicitor."
While yet another Moorish villain slinks by bent on vile mischief.

What fools these bureaucrats be.

25 posted on 11/19/2010 5:29:06 AM PST by Jonah Hex ("Please call me Senator Leech, General. I worked so hard for that title.")
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To: billorites

How about “Mr. Winky”?


26 posted on 11/19/2010 5:30:05 AM PST by RexBeach
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To: Rummyfan
...do you really think I’m a Nigerian nut job preparing for my 72-virgin orgy by blowing my johnson to kingdom come?

Great line!

27 posted on 11/19/2010 5:35:16 AM PST by 6SJ7 (atlasShruggedInd = TRUE)
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To: Daveinyork
We Americans have always had a taste for euphemisms - What in Sam Hill? tarnation, darn it, dang it, etc, etc.

I was talking about our sex organs. It's a throwback to the Puritans where any reference to sex was forbidden. It carries on today which is why we have so many afraid to even mention their penis or vagina in any way.

28 posted on 11/19/2010 5:44:36 AM PST by raybbr (Someone who invades another country is NOT an immigrant - illegal or otherwise.)
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To: Rummyfan
Don't touch my junk!


29 posted on 11/19/2010 5:50:23 AM PST by SnuffaBolshevik
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To: raybbr

You ought to realize that much of what people think they know of the Puritans is utterly false - you comment is an example. It would be more accurate if you had referred to the Victorians, who had a penchant for euphemism.


30 posted on 11/19/2010 5:53:39 AM PST by achilles2000 ("I'll agree to save the whales as long as we can deport the liberals")
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To: Voter#537

“My ship of love is ready to attack!” FZ


31 posted on 11/19/2010 5:54:59 AM PST by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: Rummyfan

In the middle of all this government intrusion, where are the airlines? They ought to be raising hell with the tsa because this is going to really hurt their bottom line once the holiday travel season is over.


32 posted on 11/19/2010 5:56:14 AM PST by Texas resident (Hunkered Down)
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To: Texas resident
where are the airlines

A business stuck between an out of control government and a rebellion by a free people exercises great caution. The only person to blame right now is Obama for not stepping in, firing Big Sis, and putting in someone who has a clue. Even Clinton had the good sense to tell Bobby Rubin to give it up during the IRS revolt. But whatever we think of Clinton's morality or political goals, he was a smart man and an excellent politician.

33 posted on 11/19/2010 6:02:21 AM PST by AndyJackson
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To: raybbr
"...It's a throwback to the Puritans where any reference to sex was forbidden. It carries on today which is why we have so many afraid to even mention their penis or vagina in any way..."

However, when I fly for Thanksgiving I fully plan on yelling "Hey, stop touching my penis!" in a loud voice and incredulous tone.

C'mon, everybody try it, it'll be fun!

34 posted on 11/19/2010 6:18:21 AM PST by I Buried My Guns (Novare Res!)
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To: I Buried My Guns

Junk is Rap speak for penis...Trunk is Rap speak for vagina both are often used together in so-called Rap Music.


35 posted on 11/19/2010 6:27:01 AM PST by PoloSec ( Christ died for our sins...)
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To: raybbr

“It’s a throwback to the Puritans where any reference to sex was forbidden.”

So are the euphemisms for profanity.


36 posted on 11/19/2010 6:29:41 AM PST by Daveinyork
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To: Rummyfan
Don't Touch My Junk music video - well done. If someone could make this a link I would appreciate it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhEMRSp7va

37 posted on 11/19/2010 6:33:48 AM PST by MomwithHope (Wake up America we are at war with militant Islam and progressives - 2 fronts.)
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To: Texas resident
The airlines are in an odd position here. By having the TSA take over this screening they may have shielded themselves from liability in the event of a terrorist attack.

I've been a critic of Krauthammer many a time here on FreeRepublic . . . I think he's too much of a left-leaning Beltway insider for my liking. But I can never dismiss him completely because he does make a lot of excellent points, and does so with a lot of flair and intelligence. This column is a classic.

38 posted on 11/19/2010 6:37:14 AM PST by Alberta's Child ("If you touch my junk, I'm gonna have you arrested.")
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To: Rummyfan

LOL

Great one from Krauthammer.


39 posted on 11/19/2010 6:39:45 AM PST by Yardstick
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To: Rummyfan

Good article.


40 posted on 11/19/2010 6:41:18 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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