It has been my experience that a fair per centage of women truly do not believe that their violent acts really are violent. Slapping, scratching, hitting, destroying property are all a form of symbolic communication to these ladies to make us stupid men understand how much we have hurt them about some issue. Uncontrolled rage and anger , vitriolic and obscenely abusive language screamed at the top of the voice range is not verbal abuse it is simply “The only way I can get you to hear me.” Most women do realize that throwing scalding liquids, attacking with a hot iron or a sharp object are violence. Many, however, will never see themselves as violent and abusive as their actions in their minds are ‘not real violence’, ‘don't hurt that much’ etc. Popular culture helps reinforce this perception by presenting destructive acts as ‘cute’ or ‘funny’. Just listen to the lyrics of the Carrie Underwood hit ‘Before He Cheats Again’ and imagine if a male version would be in any way tolerated anywhere. Ms. Underwood , however, made a lot of money off of her recorded paean to the righteous pleasure of felony property destruction done to a cheating boyfriend's property.
Until women own up to their own bad behaviors and foolish behaviors in and out of relationships can there be any equity with the genders.