Posted on 03/17/2011 12:50:42 PM PDT by pabianice
1. Americans should leave.
2. Radiation will not reach the U.S.
3. The CDC do not recommend that people take precautionary measures except for staying inside (cowering is optional).
4. US nuclear plants are safe. However, what we can learn now in Japan may make them even safer.
5. SAR teams from US will help in Japan. The US military is pitching-in.
6. Responders are being given the best equipment.
7. American citizens are mobilizing to help. You can do so on (website suchandsuch).
8. Japan and the US share many cultural bonds. This friendship is certain to bring everyone through this disaster. We have to help each other.
9. (Anecdote about a baby saved).
10. We will stand with the people of Japan.
No questions allowed. Obama walks off stage.
Complete dispassionate boilerplate.
I feel safer already!
And oh so perfect, a photo op chance at doing what any experienced community organizer does best, appear compassionate.
“Turned him off immediately”
I always give the “salute” first.
This stupid Mother Effer just outlined what has been already done. In short..no haste-no waste.
The C Sucker hasnt a friggan clue. If ANY of our enemies would want to attack us or our close friends-NOW IS THE TIME.
By the time the war would be over, he’d just be starting to wake up and realize something happened.
Have pity
Moochelle was waiting for him to get ready for tonight’s green beer Par-Tay
(and you better not be late, you jive turkey, you hearin’ what I SAY?)
“Obama: Harmful levels of radiation not expected to reach U.S.”
AP: Harmful levels of Obama have reached the U.S.
Did the teleprompter work correctly?
Who the hell gives a sh*t? bam to us, “Don’t worry. Be happy.”
All I want to hear from “him” is “As of this minute, I am resigning this office.” Followed by US Marshalls with a warrant and handcuffs.
Here is my version of the presser.
(big sigh, why do I have to do this? why does Bill keep saying No?)
Ok, Here is the stuff I have to say before my St. Patty’s party tonight and my trip to RIO tomorrow. So, let’s just get it over with...
Ok, Japan some kind of nuclear problem...uh...don’t worry they will take care of it or something...and uh we will help and ...uh...we are friends and (are we done yet?)
And we stand with the people of Japan. Ok. Bye now. Gotta go get ready for the party. RIO Baby!!
If the pilots of AF1 chose to do so, they should drop Obama and his rubber ducky off and then launch out of there. Let Obama float back.
I must assume that is the “middle finger” salute.
Dear Mr. (p)Resident:
Due to your continued political flipping off of Israel, and, with it, the entire Jewish community worldwide, also, your incessant worship of Islamofascism across the world and tendency to politically fellate the enemies of Israel, the West, and the United States itself, and last, but not least, and your overall complete and utter douchiness, we hereby break all ties with the United States of America as allies. This break will remain in effect until January 20, 2013 unless otherwise noted.
Sincerely,
Benjamin Netanyahu
Huh? Aren’t #2 and #3 fundamentally in conflict?
He only has a teleprompter. Not a Magic Conch.
You nailed it!
He basically read a news digest of the week’s events.
The press corpse could have just filmed the TOTUS.
The TP almost always works. It’s bam what don’t work too good. He can’t pitch. He can’t bowl. He can’t dance. He can’t talk. He’s fugly. What good IS he?
But, he did say “The friendship and alliance between our two nations is unshakeable...”
“UNSHAKEABLE”? Did he mean to make a pun?
If he ever writes in a bunch of profanity, I think The Reader...will. Barry probably just calls words; doesn't even pay attention to what he is reading!
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