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Police: Pa. woman assaulted grandson over bacon
Associated Press ^ | June 30, 2011

Posted on 06/30/2011 9:51:30 AM PDT by Free ThinkerNY

CLIFTON HEIGHTS, Pa. (AP) -- A southeastern Pennsylvania woman is accused of beating her 9-year-old grandson and blasting him in the face with a garden hose because he ate too much bacon.

The Delaware County Daily Times reports Marilee Ann Kolynych was arrested Tuesday.

(Excerpt) Read more at hosted.ap.org ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: bacon; torture; waterboarding

1 posted on 06/30/2011 9:51:34 AM PDT by Free ThinkerNY
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Well, she’d likely have had to shoot me; I love bacon.


2 posted on 06/30/2011 9:54:47 AM PDT by NRA1995 (Obama couldn't run a lemonade stand, much less a country. Away with him!)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
the woman pinned him down, beat him on the legs and then sprayed him with the hose.

So she spanked him and sprayed water on him. Why is this news?

3 posted on 06/30/2011 9:55:44 AM PDT by LongElegantLegs (Use it up, wear it out, make it over or do without.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

You can never eat too much bacon.


4 posted on 06/30/2011 9:55:58 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Free ThinkerNY

I remember once, I came down stairs for breakfast, and my younger brother had eaten all the bacon so I smashed him over the head with a whiskey bottle.


5 posted on 06/30/2011 9:56:10 AM PDT by South Hawthorne (In Memory of my Dear Friend Henry Lee II)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Didn’t everybody get sprayed in the face with a garden hose when they were kids?


6 posted on 06/30/2011 9:56:45 AM PDT by ladyjane
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To: ladyjane

Didn’t we do this to the terrorists at Gitmo?


7 posted on 06/30/2011 9:57:49 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: NRA1995

I don’t condone it, but I understand it.


8 posted on 06/30/2011 9:58:32 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB ( "I don't want the majority if we don't stand for something"- Jim Demint)
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To: dfwgator

Feeding them bacon would have been worse...


9 posted on 06/30/2011 9:59:30 AM PDT by Pharmboy (What always made the state a hell has been that man tried to make it heaven-Hoelderlin)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Well, they say bacon is a gateway meat. Who knows what eating it could lead to.


10 posted on 06/30/2011 10:02:27 AM PDT by Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus ("Armed forces abroad are of little value unless there is prudent counsel at home." - Cicero)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
I can relate to Granny.
 
Little bastard was probably stealing her bacon.
 



11 posted on 06/30/2011 10:03:23 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (I'm a Birther - And a Deather)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Some kids are just hard to convince!


12 posted on 06/30/2011 10:11:40 AM PDT by SWAMPSNIPER (The Second Amendment, A Matter of Fact, Not a Matter of Opinion)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen, she lay in eager anticipation the lovely breakfast her helpful, caring children were making for her.

However, after a good long wait, she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.

"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

I had to search for a while in order to find a inoffensive bacon joke.

13 posted on 06/30/2011 10:12:17 AM PDT by GSWarrior
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To: WOBBLY BOB

Considering that we can not even afford to buy Bacon, I fully understand.

Children need to know there is a price paid for meals. It doesn’t fall out of the air. Someone has to work to provide it.

Of course, she should have monitored her resources closer and trained the child up in a better way. But, better late training than none.

TL


14 posted on 06/30/2011 10:12:54 AM PDT by Tomato lover (Prov 29:2 - look it up)
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To: Owl_Eagle

Empty I hope, or it would be a clear case of alcohol abuse.


15 posted on 06/30/2011 10:14:13 AM PDT by paint_your_wagon
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To: Owl_Eagle
I remember once, I came down stairs for breakfast, and my younger brother had eaten all the bacon so I smashed him over the head with a whiskey bottle.

Was your baseball bat in your other suit?

16 posted on 06/30/2011 10:15:42 AM PDT by Tex-Con-Man
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To: Free ThinkerNY

“Acorns were good until bread was found.”
~Francis Bacon


17 posted on 06/30/2011 10:18:04 AM PDT by Zuben Elgenubi
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Looks to me like someone didn’t cook enough bacon; granny needs a squirt in the face too.


18 posted on 06/30/2011 10:18:04 AM PDT by WinMod70
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To: Free ThinkerNY

He’s 9..... just feed him Beggin’ Strips..... 9 year olds don’t know its not bacon!


19 posted on 06/30/2011 10:24:26 AM PDT by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Happiness)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
"too much bacon"

I know what each of those words mean but they just don't make sense put together that way

20 posted on 06/30/2011 10:27:07 AM PDT by Mr. K (CAPSLOCK! -Unleash the fury! [Palin/Bachman 2012- unbeatable ticket])
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To: Free ThinkerNY
Oh my dear I'll smash you nose and spray you with a garden hose.

Thus you will know my rage ain't 'fakin' when you eat all the bacon. (Apologies to all poets.)

21 posted on 06/30/2011 10:31:25 AM PDT by AEMILIUS PAULUS (It is a shame that when these people give a riot)
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To: Mr. K
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaK9bjLy3v4

For all your bacon and bacon related comic needs

22 posted on 06/30/2011 11:29:04 AM PDT by NativeSon
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To: Free ThinkerNY
Granny needs one of these:


23 posted on 06/30/2011 11:34:03 AM PDT by FourPeas ("Maladjusted and wigging out is no way to go through life, son." -hg)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

MMM, bacon.

(insert pic of Homer Simpson drooly-head here)


24 posted on 06/30/2011 2:06:24 PM PDT by TheConservativeParty (PALIN 45 The cure for "meet the new boss, same as the old boss.")
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To: dfwgator

25 posted on 07/02/2011 5:49:11 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open ( <o> ---)
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To: smokingfrog

You know I have had a case of the munchies before but FIVE pounds?


26 posted on 07/02/2011 5:52:41 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (I have no time to worry about turbot, a parrot is eating my house)
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To: dfwgator
“Didn’t we do this to the terrorists at Gitmo?”

I don't blame her. If a kid ate my bacon, I would treat him like a terrorist. Somethings just cross the line.

27 posted on 07/02/2011 5:55:45 PM PDT by HereInTheHeartland (Real hope and change comes in January 2013)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
The perp's pitcher if you Google Images on her full name 'Marilee Ann Kolynych'.
28 posted on 07/02/2011 5:59:50 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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