Police: Pa. woman assaulted grandson over bacon

Associated Press ^ | June 30, 2011

[Free ThinkerNY]

CLIFTON HEIGHTS, Pa. (AP) -- A southeastern Pennsylvania woman is accused of beating her 9-year-old grandson and blasting him in the face with a garden hose because he ate too much bacon.

The Delaware County Daily Times reports Marilee Ann Kolynych was arrested Tuesday.

[NRA1995]

Well, she’d likely have had to shoot me; I love bacon.

[LongElegantLegs]

the woman pinned him down, beat him on the legs and then sprayed him with the hose.

So she spanked him and sprayed water on him. Why is this news?

[dfwgator]

You can never eat too much bacon.

[End Times Sentinel]

I remember once, I came down stairs for breakfast, and my younger brother had eaten all the bacon so I smashed him over the head with a whiskey bottle.

[ladyjane]

Didn’t everybody get sprayed in the face with a garden hose when they were kids?

[dfwgator]

Didn’t we do this to the terrorists at Gitmo?

[WOBBLY BOB]

I don’t condone it, but I understand it.

[Pharmboy]

Feeding them bacon would have been worse...

[Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus]

Well, they say bacon is a gateway meat. Who knows what eating it could lead to.

[Responsibility2nd]

I can relate to Granny.

 

Little bastard was probably stealing her bacon.

 

[SWAMPSNIPER]

Some kids are just hard to convince!

[GSWarrior]

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen, she lay in eager anticipation the lovely breakfast her helpful, caring children were making for her.

However, after a good long wait, she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.

"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

I had to search for a while in order to find a inoffensive bacon joke.

[Tomato lover]

Considering that we can not even afford to buy Bacon, I fully understand.

Children need to know there is a price paid for meals. It doesn’t fall out of the air. Someone has to work to provide it.

Of course, she should have monitored her resources closer and trained the child up in a better way. But, better late training than none.

TL

[paint_your_wagon]

Empty I hope, or it would be a clear case of alcohol abuse.

[Tex-Con-Man]

I remember once, I came down stairs for breakfast, and my younger brother had eaten all the bacon so I smashed him over the head with a whiskey bottle.

Was your baseball bat in your other suit?

[Zuben Elgenubi]

“Acorns were good until bread was found.”
~Francis Bacon

[WinMod70]

Looks to me like someone didn’t cook enough bacon; granny needs a squirt in the face too.

[GeronL]

He’s 9..... just feed him Beggin’ Strips..... 9 year olds don’t know its not bacon!

[Mr. K]

"too much bacon"

I know what each of those words mean but they just don't make sense put together that way