How I helped my mother starve to death: NY Times reporter writes book...

LifeSitenews.com ^ | August 23, 2011 | by Jeremy Kryn

[Mrs. Don-o]

Oh Lord, so true. very word you said.

"I learned a lot when my Mom was dying. I learned that you really need to be surrounded by people who love you and will advocate for you and I learned to have a bit of concern about the medical community. You really REALLY need to have a loving family and I would hate to be alone in the world. I do NOT want the government or even my doctor making decisions for me. Ever."

[Mrs. Don-o]

"While I very much liked your post #40, I found therein no answer to the dilemma of what to do when pain control doesn’t work?"

I am not a MD so I am pinging hocndoc, who known a zillion times more than I do.

I do remember a doctor from Spain, Dr. Jose Espinosa, telling a group of us 25 years ago that pain management for the terminally ill was (even then) an issue that modern medicine had solved. He added that "I have never in all my years of practice seen 'intractable' pain. But I have seen 'intractable' doctors and nurses."

He said that with anger, too, in that the remedies for pain are there, but the medical staff sometimes does not, will not, or is not permitted to use them.

Is this true, hocndoc? Or anybody else with the training or experience to know?

[trisham]

I will! :)

[brytlea]

I guess if you want to continue to insist I was saying what I was not I can’t do much about it. I’ve twice corrected you, I’m done.

[brytlea]

I’m not sure why anyone would want to hand those decisions over to strangers.

[Mrs. Don-o]

I think some people actually don’t have any family, any loved ones, “anybody they can trust”. That’s very sad.

[brytlea]

I can’t imagine what life must be like if you have not a single person you can trust with your life, but there seem to be a number of people like that. I have my theories on how that happens, but I’ll leave it there. I think those people need extra prayer.

[Mrs. Don-o]

I can sense the dread that's part of the experience of accompanying, and making decisions for, a dying loved one. I will keep you in my prayers.

Here's something that may be very useful for you. The Robert Powell Center for Medical Ethics put out this model "advance directive" (Living Will) document: they call theirs a "Will to Live".

Will to Live - Model Document (Link)

It's a legal statement they have prepared to be in conformity to state laws in every state. You can modify it to include your own particular preferences. But the basic intent is to make explicit three essential rights:

• the right to refuse treatments which are futile and burdensome

• the right to receive palliative care in the case of terminal illness, including nutrition/dydration, hygienic and comfort care, effective pain management, etc., and

• the right to have care and treatment decisions made by one's self or one's designated proxy.

You may already have a document like this, but I think it's still worthwhile to read and compare. I think the "Will to Live" strikes just the right balance between over-treatment on one hand and under-treatment on the other, and includes nutrition/hydration as a form of "ordinary care" that should not be terminated unless it has become futile, i.e. the dying person's body can no longer tolerate it.

My father chose this "Will to Live" as his official advance document (I had Medical Power of Attorney), and I have signed one for myself. It gave me confidence and peace that I was making the right decisions.

[Secret Agent Man]

Saying you don’t support something, then immediately afterwards you write stuff that goes on to support it, then get pissed at people for noticing it? I’m insisting because that’s exactly what you wrote.

If you said “I’m not for raising taxes, but why can’t we provide the same level of government services europe does” means you want more socialist taxes because everyone knows massive taxes fund european government services.

You saying “I’m not for euthanasia but why can’t we give the same care to people as we do terminal animals (ie put them down) - you’ve just negated your “I’m not advocating euthanasia” statement.

You have no wiggle room. We give dying people here better care than animals. We manage their pain with drugs, we have hospices, we have home care, we have tons of people that give them meds and care. Family members are involved in direct and indirect care of the dying. They are hardly neglected. The only thing you could be referencing when you talk about the care we give animals who are dying, is euthanasia.

And now, I’m done with you.

[brytlea]

And now, I’m done with you.Best news I've heard today.

[Secret Agent Man]

You just can’t let someone have the last word, can ya. Wonder why that is.