I don’t like it either, but facts are facts,
I have to communicate to these people and the fact is .. Fascism is on the right with these people and is the globally accepted definition.
I have to to be able to reach out to these people and don’t want them to slam the door in my face when I tell them the sky isn’t blue it is purple.
That I understand. It is what it is. However, I would recommend you make a distinction with these people between fascism and national socialism.
Jews don't have a great historic issue with Franco, or Mussolini. Their issue is with Hitler. Here's my point, Hitler never refers to himself, or his movement as fascist/fascism. It's always National Socialist/National Socialism.
The label fascist in reference to the nazis was applied by the Soviets. Rallying the Soviet Socialist populace to rise up against the National Socialist invaders was problematic due to the socialist being part of both sides names. Similarly, the National Socialists always refer to the Soviets as Bolsheviks, or Communists. Both sides attempted to downplay the fact that the Eastern Front was a war between socialists.
I have gotten traction when pointing out that the nazis never refer to themselves as fascists.