An abortion worker’s ‘ah-ha’ moment: when a surrogate mother was paid to abort a Down syndrome baby

Note: Jewels Green is a former abortion clinic worker who also had an abortion herself. She recently spoke out about her experiences as an abortion clinic worker for the first time.

September 20, 2011 (LiveAction.org) - After supporting abortion my entire life and working in an abortion clinic for years, my Ah-HA moment seemed to come from an unlikely place. I did not have a profound, sudden shift in my worldview. After years of ignoring the little voice inside me questioning the death around me—the nightmares and the regret—the truth snuck up on me.

I was involved in an online discussion of in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and surrogacy with a group of close friends who were all married mothers, and one among us agreed to be a surrogate for a friend of hers who had tragically lost a child to cancer. We were her confidantes as she went through the months of hormonal preparation for her body to accept the implantation of a baby created outside of her womb. She detailed all of the painfully unnatural things done to her body to prepare for this and she also described the IVF process—all those teeny-tiny human beings—being created in a laboratory, then stored in a freezer.

I confess I honestly hadn’t really ever thought about IVF before, but I found the process disturbing. I sought counsel from the two Catholic members of the forum who openly (but always respectfully) disagreed with what she was doing. The more I thought about IVF and the Frankenstein-like process of creating humans in this way, it all finally started making sense to me. This was unnatural, and it was wrong. These were HUMANS. It wasn’t like in the movie Alien where adults made a choice to climb into sleep chambers to willfully enter a state of suspended animation, this was the complete removal of informed consent and the complete antithesis of the maternal instinct (PROTECT BABY AT ALL COSTS). It was just… wrong.

Well, then she went on to describe a woman in her surrogacy support group who underwent prenatal genetic testing on the tiny, helpless, not-genetically-related, innocent baby growing in her body (I think you can guess where this is going.) Down syndrome. I followed the daily posts with increasing horror as she related the story of this surrogate mother who accepted “payment of her contract in full” to abort rather than to carry this baby to term and give birth. One among us pleaded with our friend to tell her about Reece’s Rainbow, that if the genetic parents didn’t want their child, he or she could have a chance of finding an adoptive home through this amazing organization that helps match children with Down syndrome with loving families, and in many cases helps defray the costs of adoption. Nope.

This was my Ah-HA moment: This woman was paid to kill the child. And she did. This is murder. Abortion is murder. I cried. I cried for that (now dead) baby. Then I cried for all of the little cold souls in the IVF freezers around the world. Then, only then, could I cry for all of the babies murdered at the clinic where I worked for so long. How many tissue boxes my small counseling office went through and I walked that pregnant mother back to the procedure room and smiled as I held the door open for her to enter the chamber of death. “You’ll be alright, I’ll come visit you in the recovery room.” My God. What had I done? No, I did not pull the trigger; but I cleaned the gun, readied the ammunition, and loaded it. Sure as the guilt of the killer himself, I was sure of my own guilt as well. The wave of remorse and regret was overwhelming. I prayed. I prayed for peace for the babies. I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for the strength to become a better person.

All of this played out against the backdrop of a very different public view of the pro-life movement. Gone were the days of outright intimidation and harassment; replaced by a peaceful, prayerful presence outside the clinic doors peopled by compassionate souls ready and willing to assist pregnant mothers in practical, useful, and lasting ways. Only by continuing to offer truth, solace, hope, help, and love to the troubled and misguided can we ever hope to end abortion. Only by continuing to speak the truth about the horror and brutality of abortion can we hope to change minds. One heart, one soul, one mother, one child at a time.

Join a Facebook page devoted to ending abortion here.

This article originally appeared on LiveAction.org. It is reprinted here with the permission of the author.

zerosix quoted Tracy to Lancaster, "You knew it would come to this, the first time you sentenced an innocent man to death."\

My recollection is that Tracy said something more like, "IT CAME to this the first time you sentenced an innocent man to death". Tracy was making the point that the evil which the judge hadn't anticipated, began in his own court room. It wasn't about what the judge knew or expected, it was about what the judge DID.

In other words, it wasn't relevant what happened later.

Thanks (though I can’t take credit for the idea)

It is a non-intrusive/non-aggressive way of getting a message across; it is informing the conscience of someone who may not be thinking with a clear head as they plan a murder.

Hell is full of people who never repented as this woman did.

I tend to agree with wagglebee. Everyone is confronted with their sin at some time in their life, but not all respond with repentance.

Note the following two passages in Acts:

1: Acts 2:37 - Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do?

2: Acts 7:54 - When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth.

Both accounts are of sinners who were confronted with their part in the slaying of the Lord, and one group said "what shall we do?", while the other "gnashed with their teeth". Both were given the same opportunity to soften their hearts and repent.

As I always say, abortion is murder for convenience. It's usually out of sight and that makes it out of mind. This baby that was the victim of a contract killing gave a person, and individuality to this woman and woke her up.

She learned, and is dealing with the guilt of her past. That's something she has to live with and there's nothing that can be done about that. However, what she can do now is to do her best, as we all can, to stop others from being victims of murder for convenience.

I am sorry - I just don't see how anyone needs an "aha" moment for this kind of monstrous evil

The world is a jungle. Every American younger than 40 has lived under Roe v Wade and Doe v Bolton their entire lives. The generations (plural) before that was the one that had individuals fight for legalized abortion. The judges who legalized it were in their 60's or 70's at that time.

We are gaining an inch at a time (Partial birth bans), but it's like the fight against slavery. It's wrong, but it's been around for generations. Men are conditioned to stay out of this area (75% of the leadership and volunteers in pro-life movement are women). That's not including the scum who pressure their significant others to have an abortion to avoid embarrassment, financial burdens, and the like as a result of some action. Women are conditioned to consider this as "choice" even if most of them personally abhor abortion and would never have one.

Despite all of that, the culture, the media, and the money from the leftist foundations, we are gaining an inch at a time to fight this. It's not good enough at all, but I think there's a chance this gets banned in my lifetime.

t’s so drastic that even I have noticed a reduction in the population & I cam ve a real space cadet sometimes. So if I’ve noticed it, it’s bad. >>

this is so sad to hear.

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