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Math Teacher Arrested At JFK Airport. Suspected Of Belonging To Secret Terror Society
Friends and Fiends

Posted on 11/01/2011 3:25:07 PM PDT by MindBender26

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule" and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle.'" When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: goodsatire; nobel; obama; poorsatire
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Ya never know!
1 posted on 11/01/2011 3:25:14 PM PDT by MindBender26
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To: MindBender26

Very cute!


2 posted on 11/01/2011 3:27:09 PM PDT by wintertime (I am a Constitutional Restorationist!!! Yes!)
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To: MindBender26

I laughed


3 posted on 11/01/2011 3:28:11 PM PDT by nuconvert ( Khomeini promised change too // Hail, Chairman O)
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To: MindBender26

You had me going for a full 30 seconds! :)


4 posted on 11/01/2011 3:28:11 PM PDT by WellyP (REAL)
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To: MindBender26
i still have two slide-rules... one was my fathers
5 posted on 11/01/2011 3:28:24 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: MindBender26
That is right up there with the grandmother who boarded a plane with knitting needles and yarn being arrested.

They thought she was knitting an Afghan.

6 posted on 11/01/2011 3:29:00 PM PDT by magslinger (To properly protect your family you need a Bible, a twelve gauge and a pig.)
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To: magslinger

:) !


7 posted on 11/01/2011 3:30:04 PM PDT by MindBender26 (Forget AMEX. Remember your Glock 27: Never Leave Home Without It!)
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To: MindBender26

Oh look, another terror scare just when Hussein’s regime is being scrutinized. What a coincidence.


8 posted on 11/01/2011 3:33:01 PM PDT by Recovering_Democrat
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To: MindBender26
I know I was a victim of it in the 60’s before we had calculators and had to do math long hand so to say.
9 posted on 11/01/2011 3:34:40 PM PDT by guitarplayer1953 (Rebellion to Tyrants is Obedience to GOD! Thomas Jefferson)
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To: MindBender26

Okay, smart ass! :-)


10 posted on 11/01/2011 3:38:06 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: MindBender26

There are 10 kinds of people.

Those who understand binary, and those who don’t


11 posted on 11/01/2011 3:38:07 PM PDT by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: MindBender26

“Math Teacher Arrested At JFK Airport. Suspected Of Belonging To Secret Terror Society”

The NEA?


12 posted on 11/01/2011 3:38:57 PM PDT by VanDeKoik (1 million in stimulus dollars paid for this tagline!)
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To: MindBender26
Al-Gebra is one of the worst of all the quadradical groups. I'm glad they arrested this guy. :-)
13 posted on 11/01/2011 3:41:13 PM PDT by Unmarked Package
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To: MindBender26

Tangentally, did they arrest the person who co-sined for his ticket?


14 posted on 11/01/2011 3:41:56 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: MindBender26

The Dali Lama walked into a pizza joint and said,
“Can you make me one with everything?”


15 posted on 11/01/2011 3:44:20 PM PDT by Repeal The 17th
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To: MindBender26

Take away the calculator, use Saxon Math, starting when they’re young (around 6 or 7), and you’ll have them through Calculus before they’re 14 (even earlier for one of my kids).

Of course that means parents have to take the HUGE STEP of mistrusting our educational system - which is why next to no one asks me about how to do it (other than a few immigrants that I know).

And by the way, we did buy them slide rules and teach them how to use them, like any real prepper would.


16 posted on 11/01/2011 3:52:10 PM PDT by BobL (A vote for Gingrich is a vote for Romney)
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To: Chode
...still have two slide-rules...

Can you still get batteries for them?

Six Whiskey Tango

17 posted on 11/01/2011 3:53:28 PM PDT by 386wt (It's an airplane.)
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To: AmishDude

They’re talking about ya, Dude!


18 posted on 11/01/2011 3:58:08 PM PDT by Iowa Granny (Clintion ruined a dress, but Obama ruined a Nation.)
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To: MindBender26

Very clever!


19 posted on 11/01/2011 4:02:41 PM PDT by bigbob
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To: MindBender26
The dentist handles calculus with ease.
20 posted on 11/01/2011 4:02:41 PM PDT by Myrddin
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To: MindBender26

Mathematicians also set their underwear on fire.


21 posted on 11/01/2011 4:03:28 PM PDT by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: MrEdd

Funny, Only geeks will get it.


22 posted on 11/01/2011 4:04:51 PM PDT by ConservativeChris
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To: MindBender26

Radicals! We must get to the root of the problem.


23 posted on 11/01/2011 4:05:09 PM PDT by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: MindBender26

LOL

I hated the Al Gebra movement when I was growing up. But I survived it. :-)


24 posted on 11/01/2011 4:07:31 PM PDT by Allegra (Hey! Stop looking at my tagline like that.)
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To: MindBender26

The threat of Al-Gegra... real or imaginary?


25 posted on 11/01/2011 4:07:43 PM PDT by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: MindBender26
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass...

Good work, FBI!!! However, I doubt he's in al-Gebra since al-Gebra militants don't need rulers, protractors and compasses.

26 posted on 11/01/2011 4:12:28 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: Kirkwood; All

We’ve gone off on a tangent here.


27 posted on 11/01/2011 4:14:24 PM PDT by maine yankee (I got my Governor at 'Marden's')
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To: MindBender26
Probably just there to Occu Πr² Wall Street.
28 posted on 11/01/2011 4:23:46 PM PDT by JoeRed
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To: MindBender26

This could be the biggest threat we’ve faced since the rise of the Axis Powers.


29 posted on 11/01/2011 4:25:02 PM PDT by GreenHornet
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To: GreenHornet

Yeah with the leader Al Gore on loooose, still dangerrr!


30 posted on 11/01/2011 4:33:45 PM PDT by Leo Carpathian (fffffFRrrreeeeepppeeee-ssed!)
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To: ConservativeChris; MrEdd

Or a (01001100)year old father Father of (10)Geek and Grandfather of (01) Geeks.


31 posted on 11/01/2011 4:38:14 PM PDT by GOYAKLA (Re-flush Congress in 2012, some crap remains!)
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To: MindBender26
They use names like "X" and "Y" . . .

Part of the axis of evil, along with the nefarious "Z".

32 posted on 11/01/2011 4:40:59 PM PDT by sportutegrl
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To: 386wt
yup... Maxwell House or Folgers in a pinch
33 posted on 11/01/2011 4:43:20 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: wintertime

That reminds me.....I need to get batteries for my abacus!


34 posted on 11/01/2011 4:43:46 PM PDT by Tucker39
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To: Larry Lucido

Re: Smart Ass

Got me through 7 years of undergraduate study !

:)


35 posted on 11/01/2011 5:00:38 PM PDT by MindBender26 (Forget AMEX. Remember your Glock 27: Never Leave Home Without It!)
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To: metmom; wintertime; bamahead; rabscuttle385

Don’t the government schools screen these people?


36 posted on 11/01/2011 5:03:27 PM PDT by Clintonfatigued (Illegal aliens collect welfare checks that Americans won't collect)
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To: MindBender26

I caught on from the headline.


37 posted on 11/01/2011 5:13:28 PM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (Ceterum autem censeo, Obama delenda est.)
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To: MindBender26

He tought students to solve their problems using radicals. What irrational behavior. One could draw a *parallel* to what the Taliban does, but you get the *point*. And they bombed their quizzes.

Thus, his terror came full circle.


38 posted on 11/01/2011 5:13:47 PM PDT by G8 Diplomat (Martyr: Arabic word for "lousy fighter")
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To: MindBender26

I hear they will soon be into derivatives...


39 posted on 11/01/2011 5:35:31 PM PDT by NonLinear (Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.)
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To: Clintonfatigued; 2Jedismom; 6amgelsmama; AAABEST; aberaussie; Aggie Mama; agrace; AliVeritas; ...

ANOTHER REASON TO HOMESCHOOL

This ping list is for the “other” articles of interest to homeschoolers about education and public school. This can occasionally be a fairly high volume list. Articles pinged to the Another Reason to Homeschool List will be given the keyword of ARTH. (If I remember. If I forget, please feel free to add it yourself)

The main Homeschool Ping List handles the homeschool-specific articles. I hold both the Homeschool Ping List and the Another Reason to Homeschool Ping list. Please freepmail me to let me know if you would like to be added to or removed from either list, or both.

40 posted on 11/01/2011 5:45:36 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: Clintonfatigued

Al-Gebra terrorized me in my high school days.

It’s been around a long time.

;)


41 posted on 11/01/2011 5:48:50 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: MindBender26

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9dpTTpjymE


42 posted on 11/01/2011 5:56:10 PM PDT by patton ("Je pense donc je suis," - My Horse.)
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To: Kirkwood

Message in a bathroom stall: “Real engineers work it out with a pencil”.


43 posted on 11/01/2011 5:59:17 PM PDT by laker_dad
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To: patton

I’m waiting for someone to post a link to Tom Lehrer’s “New Math”. I’m on An iPhone in Turkey, so I cannot.


44 posted on 11/01/2011 6:00:48 PM PDT by MindBender26 (Forget AMEX. Remember your Glock 27: Never Leave Home Without It!)
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To: Larry Lucido
Tangentally, did they arrest the person who co-sined for his ticket?

Only in an elliptical manner.

45 posted on 11/01/2011 6:01:25 PM PDT by Professional Engineer (Never Again! Except for the next time.)
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To: MindBender26

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXx2VVSWDMo


46 posted on 11/01/2011 6:07:04 PM PDT by patton ("Je pense donc je suis," - My Horse.)
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To: Allegra
I was forced into the Al-Gebra movement by Mrs. Smith. She wore a clever
disquise by coloring her hair and wearing frumpy clothing.
47 posted on 11/01/2011 6:08:21 PM PDT by MaxMax
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To: MindBender26
LOL!

I survived Al Gebra but was destroyed by Geo-Metry.......

48 posted on 11/01/2011 6:10:34 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco
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To: MrEdd

01001000 01100001 01101000 01100001

Good one!


49 posted on 11/01/2011 7:22:02 PM PDT by gogogodzilla (Live free or die!)
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To: 386wt

Yes, but you have to order them from the same manufacturer that makes abacus batteries.


50 posted on 11/01/2011 7:26:01 PM PDT by gogogodzilla (Live free or die!)
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