Skip to comments.Hannah and Her Brothers
Posted on 01/02/2012 5:33:35 AM PST by Kaslin
Shelby wasnt expecting such difficult questions when she took a job teaching grammar school in middle Tennessee. But it was an election year and little Emily had been hearing a lot of talk about politics. So she raised her hand on the first day of class and asked Miss Shelby, what is the difference between a conservative and a liberal? Miss Shelby thought for a while before she replied with a story that was dated but true. It happened when Miss Shelby was just about Emilys age:
When I was in the fifth grade, there was a girl named Hannah. She was beautiful and athletic. She used to try to beat the other boys in the 100 yard dash. She lost time and time again. But one day in fifth grade, she beat all the other little boys in a race. Patrick, who used to be the fastest boy in school, got mad. He got really mad. In fact, he picked on Hannah so badly that the school teacher grounded him from recess for an entire month. That made Patrick madder still.
The boys in the class all picked on Patrick for losing his title as the fastest kid in school to a girl. They even went so far as to say that Patrick probably couldnt beat Hannah in a fistfight. They teased and teased and teased poor Patrick. Then one day he just snapped did something really stupid: he challenged Hannah to a fistfight after school.
Being a lady, Hannah declined to fight. That meant Patrick got to save some face. But, unfortunately, Patrick would not give up trying to fight Hannah. So finally, she told Patrick to meet her at the baseball field after school one day. The entire school was buzzing over the fact that Hannah agreed to fight Patrick. There were at least fifty kids who showed up for the fight. There were also a couple of dozen people waiting in the bleachers when Hannah arrived at the ball park. Among them were Hannahs four older brothers; Ben, Peter, Rob, and Luke John.
Patrick put up his dukes to fight Hannah. She remained calm with good reason. Patrick never saw the punch coming. He didnt even see Ben come down from the bleachers and approach him from his weak side. But he felt Bens punch to his lower stomach. He also felt it when Ben rolled him over on his back, climbed on top of him, and gave him his very first broken nose. Ben pounded Patrick until his face was a bloody mess. It was made worse by the fact that he was crying uncontrollably.
It should go without saying that Patrick never picked on Hannah again. In fact, he never picked on anyone again. He was greatly humbled by the experience of getting his nose broken by Ben. He just told his parents he was hit in the nose by a pitch and let the matter go at that. Hannah and her family are all conservative Republicans, by the way.
When Miss Shelby was done with her story, Emily looked very confused. So Shelby started talking again sort of the way Jesus did with his disciples when they were too dumb to understand a parable:
Emily, I know you dont know much about politics so Ill explain why I shared this story with you. It illustrates four important characteristics of conservatism. Ill explain them all in relation to Hannah and her brothers:
Conservatives believe the individual has unique talents given by a Creator. In the fourth grade, the girls started to sprout above the boys in height. In fact, many of the girls could have beaten Patrick but they did not try. Hannah was taught that it was a sin not to fully exploit her God-given talents. So she always tried her best. Even when she was splitting infinitives. 2.
Conservatives are more interested in competing than in sparing the feelings of their inferiors. Hannah knew she would upset the fragile feelings of Patrick. But she didnt care. The joy of competition outweighed the fear of causing personal offense. At first, she kind of enjoyed the reaction of Patrick. Being the target of jealousy and covetousness is much better than being ignored altogether. 3.
Conservatives understand that human nature is ugly and must be controlled through fear. Hannah had an opportunity to sit down with Patrick and negotiate over their differences. But Hannahs parents instilled in her a deep distaste for the United Nations approach to avoiding conflict. She was raised to believe that peace could best be kept by an overwhelming demonstration of force. Ben certainly supplied that show of force. Why negotiate with a punk who fights girls when you have four brothers who play junior and senior high school football? It is better to overwhelm a relatively weak opponent than to risk an embarrassing upset. Just ask the 1980 Russian Olympic Hockey team.
Conservatives believe that the family, not the government, is the foundation of society. Hannah could have called the police or told the principal that Patrick was threatening her. But that is not the way she was raised. Hannah and her three sisters, four brothers, mother, and father all have a saying: Our family is sort of like the Ten Commandments. When you violate one of us, you violate all of us. Hannah was raised to believe that, unlike the police, her family can always be counted on to respond in a time of need.
When Miss Shelby finished, she knew she had only told half of the story. But she promised she would later tell the story of another friend so little Emily could also understand the liberal mindset. And, dear reader, I promise to share that story with you in my next column about a little girl named Allison who lived in Illinois.
Excellent article, please add me to your ping list.
Self ping for later
stupid self righteous crap
you don’t agree to fight by one set of rules and then bring in a ringer. That is more like something the liberals would do.
Don’t bother to bring in your “Allison” story for the “second half”
The part you left out is that conservatives SHOULD ASPIRE to honesty, integrity and the flat truth. Doing anything including cheating to win is what liberals do.
I thoroughly agree with you.
I disagree. My wife and I raise our eight boys and one girl that a fight with one was a fight with ALL. Other the intra-family fights, there were few outsiders who wanted to take on the whole clan. Those that did were sorry.
yeah but that wasn’t the agreement. she agreed to fight him. then she shows up with everybody. not right.
I agree with the family sticking together, but this is a crummy illustration
I honestly don’t find this story enlightening nor do I see any particular point or value in it.
I can go along with one and four. But I’ve got a problem with two and three.
Conservatives are more interested in competing than in sparing the feelings of their inferiors. I think compassion outweighs this.
Conservatives understand that human nature is ugly and must be controlled through fear. I completely disagree. Parts of human nature can be ugly, sure. Bit control via fear is not something Conservatives do.
Far to many trees were sacrificed for that rendition.
Difference between Conservatives & Liberals.
A swimmer, 75 ft out was floundering.
A Conservative and Liberal happened upon him.
The Conservative went and got him 60 ft of rope and said swim to the rope and I will pull you in.
The Liberal went and got 100 ft of rope, threw it out then rushed up the beach to do another good deed.
The person drowned.
“yeah but that wasnt the agreement. she agreed to fight him”
No, she didn’t. It reads:
“So finally, she told Patrick to meet her at the baseball field after school one day.”
You’ve just assumed details that weren’t provided. You could just as well say “she agreed to kiss him on the baseball field”.
A bad attempt to portray conservatism.
oh suit yourself. I can’t make you see, obviously. If you think this article encapsulates what the conservative mindset is, you are kookoo.
It is certainly not my conservative mindset and if you just want to play word games, get a crossword
You have been added
Oh, no, don’t misunderstand. It’s a crock of crap and most likely matches the cesspool of info that the liberal public education system perpetuates. But still, she didn’t agree to fight. I was simply delighted at that point in the story when I knew what was (fairly) coming to the creep. A lot of conservatives would think, “so what? if he was stupid enough to show up after that vague invitation he deserved what was coming to him”. Liberals wouldn’t understand anything but their skewed viewpoint so I don’t get worked up over their propaganda. You can’t fight a battle of wits with unarmed opponents.
“Conservatives understand that human nature is ugly and must be controlled through fear. Hannah had an opportunity to sit down with Patrick and negotiate over their differences. But Hannahs parents instilled in her a deep distaste for the United Nations approach to avoiding conflict. She was raised to believe that peace could best be kept by an overwhelming demonstration of force. Ben certainly supplied that show of force. Why negotiate with a punk who fights girls when you have four brothers who play junior and senior high school football? It is better to overwhelm a relatively weak opponent than to risk an embarrassing upset. Just ask the 1980 Russian Olympic Hockey team. “
There’s a big difference between macro and micro-politics. You do not treat family and friends this way. You do talk to them and explain, firmly and from a principled position, but you don’t just beat them up.
Matt: 21 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?
22 Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
“...human nature is ugly and must be controlled through fear” sounds just like the stereotypical leftist understanding of what conservatism is all about, and is wrong on many, many levels.